So. On a random weekend I received an offer for a fan screening of the new Dwayne Johnson movie Red One. I had no interest in seeing that movie either, but I figured "What the hell."
So I make my way up to the theatre, purchase a glass of wine and I'm ready. I walk into the theatre room, and something is.....off. I find that I'm surrounded by many people 2, 3 or 4 times my age... okay. Then I get to my seat and a couple of seats to my left is a group of teenage girls, they seem theatre kids or band nerds.... Okay. Odd.
Then the movie kicks in and I know that something is messed up here, it's Queen's Brian May talking about opera in a documentary style setting in Tuscany, Italy. And there's Ed Sheeran and all sorts of stuff. I have no idea what's happening. At this point I'm thinking someone put DMT or some other kind of hallucinogenic compound in my drink. The real movie begins, it's a blind Italian dude singing opera songs. It's all shot beautifully and sounds good. And then like Russell Crowe shows up and sings a song. And then out comes Johnny Depp and pretends to play guitar with Jeff Beck on the jumbo screen behind the orchestra. What. And THEN Kim and Chloe Cardassian show up. Between this and the recent 2024 election, I am now convinced that I have been absorbed into some sort of nightmarish alternate universe where things have gone horrifically and frighteningly wrong.
So it turns out that they sent me an offer for the wrong screening time or something. At the end of the day, it was fine. I learned a lot about opera, Andrea Bocelli and Tuscany. I'm am certain that people who are fans of this type of fare with love this and I hope they get to see it on a big screen with a thunderous sound system like I did. I had no idea what I was looking at but I'm pretty sure that it was cool.