But as soon as you plop down a deposit on your own piece of suburbia, strange thoughts start running through your mind. In the suburban world, grass seems very important, and you're consumed by its mysteries. Why does your neighbor's lawn glow deep green, like a rolling golf course, while yours withers to a brown mess, overrun by weeds? What makes perfect grass perfect? What do you need to do to maintain a beautiful lawn, short of shelling out hundreds of dollars to a professional lawn care service?

In this article, we'll find out what grass is, what it needs, and how you can make yours the best on the block. If you don't have your own lawn, or you couldn't care less what it looks like, none of this will seem very important. But if you're up late at night tossing and turning because the grass is greener on the other side of your fence, read on.