Like most parents of multiples, my husband and I had heard various stories about parenting twins and read a lot of books on how to encourage individuality. We chose to give our sons distinctly different names to lessen confusion, we never referred to them as "the twins", we avoid dressing them alike and they even had different haircuts when they started school a couple of years ago. And yet surprisingly, one of the biggest challenges for us was to recognize our children as separate individuals and teach them that they can't have exactly the same.

Last week I went shopping for clothes for my twin sons and bought a t-shirt and a sweater for Sean and a pair of short pants and new tennis shoes for Will. And believe it or not, two years ago this is something I wouldn't have been able to do. Two years ago, I would have bought the same thing for each child.

Last February, Sean and Will celebrated their 5th birthday, and each was allowed to invite 8 friends from his respective class to the party. As we suspected it, some couldn't make it because it was winter break. What we didn't anticipate is that one child would consequently get more presents than the other.

One of the mistakes I think we've made as new parents is that we have always been reluctant to give our twins different things (toys, attention, individual time) because we were afraid it would provoke jealousy and trigger conflicts. Our sons have very different personalities now and we respect that and try not to interact or discipline them the same way. Yet it is most inconceivable for them that they don't have exactly the same thing at the same time.

Are you dealing with the same problem? What are your strategies (do you plan two birthday parties, etc.)? How do you encourage individuality without emphasizing rivalry? Did one of your twin ever get a present and not the other? How did the other child react?

A couple of months ago, Will's teacher told me that she wants him to skip next year and enter elementary school in September. After recovering from initial shock, I told her that I would have to talk with my husband first and take his twin brother's feelings and emotions in consideration too.

This is when she gave me a reproachful look, and said "it's Will we're talking about, not Sean. You have to let him live his own life. If he's ahead of his brother, you have to accept and respect it. It's not fair for Will." I know what she means. And I know that she's right, too. Acknowledging my sons' individuality and being careful not to compare them is a daily battle for me. But I don't understand how she expects me to consider putting Will in first grade without thinking of Sean and how this will affect his life and self-esteem.

What I also don't understand is that Will's teacher is not taking his physical and emotional maturity into account. I am not questioning her judgment, but Will still drags his special blanket around the house, cries when his brother tells him he's ugly (yes, they're twins), can't tie his shoes or wipe his own bottom. He's doing well at school, but even the teacher admits that he's never bored and that he loves to play with his friends.

So last week my husband and I told her that we have decided to keep Will in kindergarten next year and that he will enter elementary school with his brother. She accepted our decision and was confident that this would not affect Will's education at all. If in the next years, teachers refer Will up a grade, we will probably have a different approach and be able to make a different decision. But for now, we're doing what we think is best for our sons. Both of them.

What about you? Have you experienced the same situation with your twins, multiples? What decisions did you make? How did it affect your family?

At first I was surprised to hear my son say the actual words "Mommy, I'm in love with June". And then my heart just melted all over the kitchen floor and I couldn't refrain from hugging him and cupping his little face in my two hands.

"So, June is a little girl in your class?" I asked Will, still giggling.

"No" he said, "June is in a rocket."

"What? Where did you meet her?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Mom, Will is in love with June from Little Einsteins" explained Sean.

I looked at Will and realized he was staring at the television screen with a big smile on his face. I remember I loved my Little Pony and Care Bear and dreamed of becoming a Bioman when I was little, but don't remember having crushes on cartoon characters then.

What about your children? Are they in love with Elmo, Buzz or other animated characters?

Every year we bring home a christmas tree, I end up with a problem. Pine needles. Cleaning them up has always been a bit of a loosing battle. They clog up the vacuum cleaner, they stick in the carpet and sweeping just doesn't get them up. I invariably end up on my hand and knees picking up little bits of pine. Six months later, I'm still finding them finding them. It's like owning a secret herd of pine needle bearing porcupines

This year I found myself on my knees again, picking bits of tree after hauling our monster pine inside. (Note to self: Don't pick trees under 12 inches of snow) After an hour or so, I decided to do something about it. I've been meaning to pick up a big shop vac for a project, and so I figured that I'd give it a shot. I trekked over to sears and scored a giant shop/canister vacuum on sale for about $70. (Five horsepower motor, 12 gallon canister) After shocking my wife with the sheer size as I slapped the wheels on it, I put it to work. It easily sucked up every pine needle I pointed it at. To top things off, I can even use it for spot cleaning the carpet when I want to use some Rug Doctor solution.

In a way, I'm almost disappointed that it was so easy. If I'd known how well it would work, I would have gladly bought one years ago. If you've been stuck in the foot by a pine needle or two, and you value your sanity - get one.

We're planning to visit some relatives over the holidays. Just like many trips before, I'll be returning with more furniture that when I started. Since we'll be pulling a trailer, I've decided that we'll be taking my Jeep Liberty, since it's actually a very good tow vehicle. (These things are rated to pull 5000lbs, and can actually do it.) I like my Jeep, it's just big enough for my family, and I'm not driving an aircraft carrier around town.

In preparation for my trip, I made one of those purchases that (it would seem) are one of the true marks of being Dad. No, not a mark of fatherhood, I mean a right of passage for Dads. I bought a car top cargo box.

Which one did I buy? I picked up a Yakima Blacktop Pro 12. I like these because they're long and narrow - you'll get better mileage than the big square boxes. I managed to get the store to knock around $60 off once I convinced the sales minion to actually ask a manager about it. It's a huge improvement over my Dad's old box. It hinges open in either direction and clamps to the crossbars I already had. (It looks like it'll clamp to most roof-rack crossbars, excluding those giant things on the Nissan Xterra)

In the past, my rooftop accessories included Yakima racks, bike racks, ski racks, and even kayak racks. Only a parent can appreciate how disturbingly satisfying it is to have finally purchased a cargo box. Before I had two daughters, I would have never been so happy about buying a box for the top of my car. Honestly, I would have preferred to buy a new climbing rope any day of the week. Man, I love being Dad.

"Yes, or he's probably very angry at you. You should have a talk with him and pay more attention to him" said the pharmacist when I asked her if there was something I could do about Sean's thumb and finger sucking habit while our family was visiting South Korea.

I couldn't believe what I heard. And actually, it was not the first time.

Sean and Will have had all sorts of weird habits during the last 4 years and friends and family members have always tried to find causes or logical explanations to them. A friend did mention that thumb sucking was associated with a lack of reassurance and maternal love. I always thought that thumb or finger sucking was common in children and that the cause was not known. Sean is almost 5 now and the only reason I want him to stop sucking his fingers is because it sometimes prevents him from focusing on one activity (such as drawing) or eating his dinner.

I don't believe what the pharmacist said. Do you?

I already mentioned that Halloween is not highly celebrated in France among kids. Well, I just found out that it's not highly celebrated in Korea either! I expected pumpkins everywhere, but the only place that was properly decorated for Halloween was the amusement park Everland, which our family visited today.

Happy Halloween everyone! Hope you all have a fabulous time tonight!

The title is a bit over the top, but it illustrates my feeling perfectly. This is the first time that new daughter Killian has deemed the baby swing worthy of her attention. She's an attention hog that one. Hates to be put down, happy as a clam when her head is on your chest.

This morning I decided to try sneaking her into the baby swing kindly provided by our neighbor friends down the street. So far she hasn't complained after ten minutes. (She complained a bit while I uploaded the picture, but now she's happy again.)

Lately, I've noticed that my 4-year-old son has a renewed interest for my breasts. This has obviously led to embarrassing public moments I will not detail here. I will just say that Will loves to touch my chest no matter where we are and say "you have breasts because you are a girl. Girls have breasts. I am a boy, right Mommy?"

Thankfully, Sean has been more tactful about my anatomy but he won't let me talk to another man, my husband, my step-father, even the mailman, and tries all sorts of techniques to get my attention focused on him. He also cuddles and kisses a lot more than before and keeps getting out of bed at night to sleep next to me.

I read that the Oedipus complex is "a child's unconscious desire for the exclusive love of the parent of the opposite sex. This desire includes intense feelings of love and hate, yearning and jealousy that produce emotional conflicts." Not all researchers and psychologists believe that the Oedipus complex exists in every society. Some think that it develops as a result of a person's social environment and does not occur in everyone.

What do you think? Have you experienced something similar with your child?

This morning I dropped off Archer, my four year old, for her first day of pre-school. The kids play on the playground at first, so they get a chance to have fun before getting started. Archer was clinging to me a bit - she played but she kept coming back to me. Once the kids went inside, I thought I might be free to go. Just as I was about to walk out to my car, one of the parent-helpers for the day came out and asked me to come in for a bit.

This fall we decided that My four year old daughter should start going to pre-school. Because I happen to live in the town I grew up in, I checked out the pre-school that I actually went to. The playground equipment has been updated, but it's the same place. The parents help out alot - tonight was our first meeting before school starts up. We actually approved the budget and discussed the various ways that parents help out.

I feel bad about it, but I have to admit that I don't like Will's teacher this year. I know that she is fully competent and I don't intend to question or judge her decisions. The problem is that she's not warm, patient and maternal like my son's other teachers and caregivers.

She never welcomes the children when they enter the classroom. She stays at her desk, looking through her files. No one is at the door to comfort the kids or prevent them from leaving the classroom with their parents.

Last week, a boy hit Will several times and he wanted me to tell his teacher about it. I think he wanted her to show that she cares and to let him know that everything will be okay. But when I told her, she looked away and ignored him. When I picked him up this afternoon I asked her, "so, how was Will today? Was he okay after I left?"

Thanks to your kind and helpful responses to my previous post about choosing a sport for my asthmatic children, next week Sean and Will will start to learn how to ride horses at our local pony club. They are delighted and excited about it. And I can't wait for them to enjoy this new and wonderful experience. But I've never been around horses, and I don't know how to prepare Sean and Will. I find it very different from teaching them how to swim or ride their bikes for example. Should I tell them that horses can be unpredictable? That they might fall? Or should I let them discover all these by themselves? What was your child or your personal experience like?

The latest addition to my family arrived today at 1:02pm. She weighed in at 8lb 4oz. The birth was great. We (My wife) opted for a natural child birth this time around. It was a great experience. I got to support her through the process and Killian was never swept away from us by a grumpy nurse. Our midwife Didi was awesome. She definitely knows what she's doing. Every time she left the room she gave me some helpful guidance. The birth was really fast! In fact, just a few hours after the birth we were back home. My dog was pretty curious about the new baby. She was excited, but showed enough brains to be careful around the new arrival. We're all pretty whipped, but everyone is doing great. I'll try to write more about the experience later, but for now I've got stuff to do.

When I was pregnant, I remember watching little 9 month-old babies swim underwater on television and being completely fascinated. I am not a great swimmer, but I've always wanted my children to experience the feeling of uniqueness, the sense of calm, achievement and safety that swimming provided me with.

But Sean and Will have always been afraid of water. The first time we took them to the beach, their little bodies shivered with terror every time a wave came near. When we went to the pool and tried to play with them in the water, they would grab our necks so hard we could not move. I admit I was a bit sad -- and probably disappointed, too. I looked at pictures of this amazing 3 year-old and hoped that one day, my sons would jump in and experience joy in the water too.

Well, that day came. After more than four years of encouraging, reassuring and soothing words, Sean and Will eventually managed to overcome their fear of water during our family trip last week. They realized that arm bands allowed them to float and control their movements. It was very moving and exhilarating for me to watch them swim and jump and laugh. I realized that I did not need to worry. My sons just needed more time than other kids.

What about you? Were your kids afraid of water? How did you help them overcome their fear?