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Would you send your out of control teenager to a boot camp or wilderness program? Many parents do, turning to these tough love programs in desperate attempts to straighten out their wayward children. The theory behind these camps is that by breaking down a child's defenses and stripping the built-up walls of aggression and anger, the child can begin to heal whatever is broken inside of them. It isn't meant to be used as punishment, but therapy. Unfortunately, many of these children suffer at the hands of those who are supposed to be helping them.
An inquiry by the Government Accounting Office has found that in the unregulated world of boot camps, many children are suffering a level of abuse and neglect that sometimes ends in death. Researching data from 2005, the GAO found 1,619 incidents of abuse in 33 states. In looking at teen deaths in these camps since 1990, they found half of them were due to dehydration or heat exhaustion. Of the programs where children have died, many are still operating today.
Rep. George Miller, a Democrat from California, is pushing for regulations. "This nightmare has remained an open secret for years," he says. "Congress must act, and it must act swiftly."
I actually have some experience with wilderness camps and support anything that would ensure the safety of these children. Years ago, I sent my own daughter to such a camp and neither of us have any regrets about it. At the time, it was a gut-wrenching decision that filled us both with doubt and fear. But the experience was a turning point in her life and prepared her for the next step in her journey to becoming the person she is today.
The girl chosen to front Australia's Gold Coast Fashion Week this year looks like most any other model. She's tall, slim, blond and beautiful. Fashion's new phenom, Maddison Gabriel, is also barely 13-years-old and her turn on the catwalk has some people concerned. Is she too young to be modeling sexy clothes meant for adult women?
She doesn't think so, telling reporters, "I don't think I'm too young - 12-year-olds should be able to model. The people there thought I was a bit older, like their age. I'd really like to be an international model." Of course she would, but she's a child and in my opinion should not be allowed to make such a decision for herself.
Australia's Prime Minister John Howard has weighed in on the issue, calling the selection of such a young girl "outrageous."
Maddison's mother, of course, defends her young daughter's right to be a sex object on the catwalk. But in her response to the Prime Minister's comments, she unintentionally underscores exactly what I think is wrong with this idea. "I believe the Prime Minister is getting very doddery. He does not know exactly what 13 and 14-year-old girls are like. I used to vote for him. We're trying to get our teenage daughters to act older. I am so happy that I've got a daughter who has got a good head on her shoulders."
Trying to get our teenage daughters to act older? By dressing them up in sexy clothing and parading them down a catwalk to be ogled by adults?
When I heard that Stevie Wonder was touring for the first time in more than 10 years, I got very excited. As usual, my town wasn't on the list and I didn't get to see him. But for those who did - or will - I imagine it was an amazing experience.
But just why, after all these years, has he decided to hit the road again? According to Wonder, his fans can thank dear old mom for giving us the opportunity to see this legend perform again. His mother, Lula Mae Hardaway, passed away last year but Wonder says she is still inspiring him.
"Through all the pain I was going through, my mother said, 'You better get out there and do what you do and spread your message, 'cause I'm gonna always be here with you,'" Wonder told ABC's Charles Gibson. "Obviously, she was talking to me from heaven."
Wonder credits his mother with not only encouraging him to make the music that has touched so many, but also with helping him write some of his biggest hits, including Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours and My Cherie Amour. "She was an amazing woman with a lot of wisdom, and she took that wisdom and she gave it to me. She allowed me to be free," he said.
Wonder, who is 57-years-old, continues to honor his mother with his next album, Gospel Inspired by Lula.
Back in 2004, when most 4-year-olds are playing with dolls and having teddy bear tea parties, 4-year-old Marla Olmstead was taking the art world by storm. With some comparing her to Picasso, her brightly colored abstract paintings were selling for tens of thousands of dollars and the little prodigy was well on her way to become quite rich.
About three years ago, wanting to tell the fascinating story of this pint-sized prodigy and examine the world of abstract art, Amir Bar-Lev set about to make a documentary featuring the little girl. But something happened along the way and the resulting film, My Kid Could Paint That, leaves doubt as to whether or not Marla actually painted the works herself.
"I wish I could give you a clear answer to that," Bar-Lev told ABC News' Cynthia McFadden. "In my heart of hearts, I have a very hard time believing that a 4-year-old did all of those paintings. But I want to add that I have a very hard time believing that her parents would be behind an exploitation of their kid."
He says he didn't go into the project to discredit the family, but in the many hours he spent with the Olmsteads, he says he never saw her paint anything like the works she has become known for. Is she truly a prodigy or did her father, or someone else, help her create her works of art? The question remains unanswered in the film, which premiered at Sundance last year and opens this week in New York and Los Angeles.
The paintings, whoever did them, are beautiful. And while they do seem advanced for a child of that age, after taking this Is It Art? Quiz, I've discovered I am not a very good judge.
The New York Times is reporting on a teacher in New Jersey who requires his students' parents to do some homework along with their children. Parents have to read an assignment -- Franz Kafka story, Section 1 of Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself" and a speech given by Robert F. Kennedy in 1968 were mentioned -- and then post a comment on the teacher's website.
Now, don't get me wrong -- I think that parents are far and away the most important factor in a child's education -- but I'm not sure this would fly everywhere. According to the Wikipedia, the median income for families in Montclair, where Mr. Frye teaches, is just shy of $100k. That's a bit different, for example, from Daly City, California where my wife teaches and the median income is almost a third less (and among her students' families, likely significantly less than average.)
I know my wife has trouble just trying to get her students' parents just to read to their kids for five minutes a day without trying to get them to do their own homework. So, while this might be a wonderful idea in affluent communities where you have a lot of educated and stay-at-home parents, I suspect it's not so good for most of the country where parents, sadly, don't value education enough or don't have the time to take on such extra work. What do you think? Would you do homework if your kids' teachers assigned it to you?
The closest my parents ever got to explaining sex to me was after they found out that I had been getting beaten up after school in fourth grade by the eighth-grade boyfriend of a girl who claimed I had called her (or her mom? I forget) a "ho". I didn't even know what that was. My mother explained that a "ho" was a woman who sold her body, which led me to envision a woman hacking off her hands to sell to people.
Perhaps if my mother had read Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be by Logan Levkoff, she might have been better prepared for that discussion. Former journalist and mommy-blogger Erin Kotecki Vest has a posted a very positive review over at The Huffington Post where she notes that "Logan gives you ways to approach the subject with your kids without freaking them (or yourself) out."
Be forewarned, however -- although, according to Vest, the author "doesn't push her views on you, there is room for you to, of course, teach your children your beliefs," the book also "gives you the stats on abstinence only programs and why they suck." With that in mind, I suspect that some parents will find this book useful, enlightening, and possibly even entertaining while others will find it offensive and vulgar -- although I wonder how many of the latter group would be looking for such a book anyway.
With the effect that Jared seems to have on members of the opposite sex, I may need this book sooner rather than later. I like the idea of discussing sexual topics openly and accurately and it sounds like this book delivers on that.
When school officials in Dumas, Arkansas spotted lights coming from the school bus yard around 11 pm, they figured they had a bus thief on their hands. They were right and ultimately officers from three counties, four towns and the Arkansas State Police became involved in trying to apprehend the bus thief. The driver of the bus managed to evade all measures to stop him, including road spikes, and headed towards Little Rock along U.S. 65.
When the bus finally slowed down enough, a sheriff's deputy got the driver to stop and that's when they realized the thief was a 10-year-old child. They cuffed him and took him into custody,but later released him to his parents.
It's not known whether he will be charged, but what gets me is that this escapade is being referred to as a prank. As in, he was part of a group caught on camera trying to pull this same prank last month. Since when is stealing a bus and leading police on a multi-county chase a prank? And what was this kid doing out at 11pm anyway?
I used to be a big shopper. I love clothes, and fuzzy scarves and winter boots with impractical heels. I like shopping for new crisp notebooks, and coloured pens, happy smelling lotions and kitchen mitts.
I do a lot less shopping now than I did two years ago, partially because shopping with a kid is painful, and partially because having a kid means shopping mostly for him. But still, on the occasional rainy Saturday I like to peruse the racks of my favorite stores. And because I'm a single Mom, Nolan is always with me.
Our excursions are usually short. Nolan has the attention span of a knat, and it usually takes less than ten minutes before he starts wanting to wheel mannequins across the store, dart under the lingerie to peek up through the silk. But, I'm more efficient now. I usually look online first, find what I want, and dash into my store of choice.
But I think I've noticed a disconcerting trend. My toddler makes me invisible to retail salespeople.
At first I thought I was just being overly sensitive, but no. There's a definite difference now. Salespeople who once would have tried to woo me with service now avoid me, watch me frowning out of the corners of their eyes. I hope that kid doesn't touch anything, perhaps. More ominously, maybe: we aren't the kind of store for Moms.
I've noticed it in boutiques, electronics department, the car service center. I am somehow less important now than I was three years ago, It feels almost like it did when I was a teenager. That there are more important customers.
Is it just me? Has anyone else felt a decline in customer service since having kids?
As the world has been watching Britney Spear's public free-fall, I have been wondering about her mom, Lynne. Britney and Lynne have been estranged since June, when Spears handed her a letter that reportedly told Lynne to stay away from Britney's sons if she was taking medication that might cause her to be impaired. Britney then told reporters, "I'm praying for her right now. [I hope] she gets all the help she needs." Lynne really had no choice but to quietly step aside and watch her daughter publicly self-destruct. Say what you will about Mama Spears, but I imagine these past few months have been a scary time for her.
Well, it seems that now that Spears has lost her children along with her dignity, she has come around and realizes she needs her mother again. Sources tell People that Lynne and her younger daughter Jaime Lynn arrived in Los Angeles this past Friday to be with Britney. Mom made an early morning visit to Britney's Beverly Hills home and then drove her daughter to her new place in Malibu.
Lately Britney's inner circle has been devoid of anyone who might genuinely care for her and to whom she might listen. Letting her mother back in is a step in the right direction for Britney and gives me hope that she might actually get better someday.
For a number of reasons, including ethical concerns, surrogate births and artificial insemination are rare in Japan. And although it isn't illegal for single women to have these procedures, births from donated eggs are restricted to married couples as per Japanese medical association guidelines. For those reasons, many Japanese women seek treatments in the U.S. and other countries.
That was the case for a unnamed 60-year-old woman who came to the U.S. and was impregnated via in-vitro fertilization. But when she returned to Japan, she was turned away repeatedly by obstetricians unwilling to handle her case. Eventually, she did find a doctor willing to care for her during her pregnancy.
"Considering that she's 60 years old and single, which means high risk and an uncertain future for a child, I had to make a tough decision about whether to handle the pregnancy," said Yahiro Netsu, gynecologist at Suwa Maternity Clinic in Nagano, central Japan, in a telephone interview with The Associated Press. "But she wanted a child, and I decided to do all I can to help her through expected difficulties."
If his decision was tough, imagine how tough it was for the woman to decide to become a mother at the age of 60. She is believed to be the oldest single woman to give birth from donated eggs. Can you imagine?
When Mandy Bailey decided to fly from Phoenix to Baltimore to visit relatives, she planned to carry her 1-year-old conjoined twins on her lap to avoid the expense of buying a seat. She was paying for her own seat as well her sister-in-law Shar Lybbert's with her Delta frequent-flier miles, but her travel plans hit a snag when Delta insisted that she buy a seat for her twins.
Federal Aviation regulations allow for children under the age of two to sit on the lap of an adult rather than purchasing a seat of their own. But regulations also stipulate that an airline must provide "enough oxygen for each passenger carried" on flights traveling more than 15,000 feet up. Obviously, this situation was a little outside the norm and Bailey wanted an exception to be made.
"They mulled it over for a day. .. and got back to me and told me 'this is all we can think of' and then said to call American Red Cross to see if they'll pay for it," said Bailey. The airline explained that "there needs to be (an oxygen) mask for everyone" even though both girls would be sitting on her lap. Her daughters, Taylor and Emma share a heart, but each girl has her own lungs.
I guess Bailey made some noise about the situation and after a call from a reporter, Delta backed down and agreed to let the girls fly for free, with Bailey and Lybbert sitting next to each other and presumably sharing their seat's oxygen masks with the girls. But the happy ending is still up in the air, as Bailey and Lybbert are scheduled to return on different flights.
I am happy for this family that Delta has made concessions, but I am also confused. How many oxygen masks come out of that overhead panel? Is there one for each seat or two? If there are two, then the unless the seat next to her also has a lap-child, there is still an available mask whether she pays for it or not, right? And if only one mask per seat comes down, then how does the parent provide oxygen for even one lap-child?
One day last year, Ellie came home from school with a paper bag decorated for Earth Day. She insisted that every piece of recyclable trash be put into this bag and then properly disposed of. Up to that point, we hadn't been doing a very good job of recycling things other than our newspapers. This wasn't for lack of desire, but more about the nasty note we received from the company that empties our recycle bin each week. We had it stacked wrong, we had the wrong things in it and we were just wrong, wrong, wrong. But thanks to Ellie's insistence, we began making more of an effort to recycle our trash again.
According to this article in the Wall Street Journal, Ellie's environmental awareness isn't uncommon. Kids are learning about their world and bringing those lesson home to mom and dad, pointing out our environmental offenses and urging us to change.
Laurie David, a producer of the documentary An Inconvenient Truth, says, "Kids are putting pressure on their parents, and this is a very good thing." David is also the author of a new children's book, The Down-to-Earth Guide to Global Warming, which teaches kids how they can make a difference and urges them to petition their parents to make changes for the good of the environment. "I know how powerful my kids are," she says. "When they want something, forget it -- all the resistance in the world isn't going to help you."
While I appreciate and support Ellie's budding environmentalism, some parents don't take too kindly to what they see as proselytizing by their children's schools. When kids at Bacich Elementary School in Kentfield, California came home with fliers advertising a screening of An Inconvenient Truth, some parents got angry, saying it isn't the public school's place to promote what they consider to be a political statement. But school principal Sally Peck disagrees, saying, "We have a responsibility to educate our children," she says.
I happen to agree with Ms. Peck - children have a right to know what is happening in this world that they will one day inherit and educators have a responsibility to tell them. What do you think?
Like most women in their thirties, I know a few women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Three of them, to be precise, and they are all women in their late forties to early fifties who have never had children. I've never thought much about it, but according to this new study, there might be a link between their childlessness and their breast cancer diagnoses.
The study looked at 82 women, 35 whom had been diagnosed with the awful disease, and concluded that fetal cells may get into a mother -- and somehow kill pre-cancerous breast cancer cells before it becomes active.
Admittedly, it's a very small study group and clearly there are women that have had many children and developed breast cancer -- but it's an interesting bit of research nonetheless.
Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a group of mothers at Ellie's dance class. We were talking about our children's friends and how difficult it is to talk to another mother when their child has misbehaved while in our homes. The upshot is that nobody wants to tell another parent when their child has done something wrong.
I recently found myself in that situation and Ellie and I both lost a friend over it. It's a long and complicated story, but basically this mother reacted with anger when told her daughter had been involved in some inappropriate behavior while playing at my house. She got mad at me, and in the end decided it would be best if her daughter no longer socialized with Ellie.
Besides the fact that Ellie is hurt and confused over the loss of her friend, it opened my eyes to the fact that this is a mother with whom I can't be honest with when it concerns her daughter. What the girls were up to at my house that day wasn't a huge deal. But someday, it might be. And in my experience, honest communication with other mothers is invaluable as the kids get older and the consequences for bad behavior can be more serious. I want to know that other mothers have my back and that I can talk to them about their children as well.
While this may be an extreme example of what happens when you rat out someone's kid, this is the very reason the dance class mothers say they are hesitant to do so. It can be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved, but I think if you really care, you have to do it. What about you? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Are you honest with other mothers about their children's behavior when at your house? What happens when someone tells you something about your own child's behavior?
I think tis the season for running noses and raspy coughs and violent overnight stomach bugs. After my last round with the bathroom bucket, I felt the trickle of a flu bug creeping up on me. Sore throat. Achy legs. Tell-tale thud thud on the side of my cranium.
I cannot be sick, I thought. I have a toddler. Sick days means lost income means mass panic and all-consuming (insane) thoughts of lying in the ditch in the pouring rain, swaddles in plastic. I cannot be sick for fear of making Nolan sick, and god knows, he's crotchety enough these days.
Now, I hate medication and I am leery of anything lemon-flavoured or that makes me drowsy. And I hate being told what to do. Nevertheless, it could do no harm, right?
By the time I bought the Cold FX, downed nine capsules (yes, 9), on the first day -- my throat was swollen, my hack was pronounced, and the innards of my head were threatening to evict themselves from my cranium.
Next day was slightly better, and I took 6 more tablets. Third day? De nada. Rien. I feel like a million bucks. It could be coincidence, but friends have been raving about this stuff for years. I'm no longer convinced that it's just a placebo effect.
Have you tried this stuff? Did it work for you? I think I'm a convert.
Would you send your out of control teenager to a boot camp or wilderness program? Many parents do, turning to these tough love programs in desperate attempts to straighten out their wayward children. The theory behind these camps is that by breaking down a child's defenses and stripping the built-up walls of aggression and anger, the child can begin to heal whatever is broken inside of them. It isn't meant to be used as punishment, but therapy. Unfortunately, many of these children suffer at the hands of those who are supposed to be helping them.
The girl chosen to front Australia's Gold Coast Fashion Week this year looks like most any other model. She's tall, slim, blond and beautiful. Fashion's new phenom, Maddison Gabriel, is also barely 13-years-old and her turn on the catwalk has 
When I heard that Stevie Wonder was touring for the first time in more than 10 years, I got very excited. As usual, my town wasn't on the list and I didn't get to see him. But for those who did - or will - I imagine it was an amazing experience. 
Back in 2004
The New York Times is reporting on a teacher in New Jersey who 
The closest my parents ever got to explaining sex to me was after they found out that I had been getting beaten up after school in fourth grade by the eighth-grade boyfriend of a girl who claimed I had called her (or her mom? I forget) a "ho". I didn't even know what that was. My mother explained that a "ho" was a woman who sold her body, which led me to envision a woman hacking off her hands to sell to people.
When school officials in Dumas, Arkansas spotted lights coming from the school bus yard around 11 pm, they figured they had a bus thief on their hands. 
I used to be a big shopper. I love clothes, and fuzzy scarves and winter boots with impractical heels. I like shopping for new crisp notebooks, and coloured pens, happy smelling lotions and kitchen mitts. 
As the world has been watching Britney Spear's public free-fall, I have been wondering about her mom, Lynne. Britney and Lynne have been estranged since June, when Spears handed her a letter that reportedly told Lynne to stay away from Britney's sons if she was taking medication that might cause her to be impaired. Britney then told reporters, "I'm praying for her right now. [I hope] she gets all the help she needs." Lynne really had no choice but to quietly step aside and watch her daughter publicly self-destruct. Say what you will about Mama Spears, but I imagine these past few months have been a scary time for her. 
For a number of reasons, including ethical concerns, surrogate births and artificial insemination are rare in Japan. And although it isn't illegal for single women to have these procedures, births from donated eggs are restricted to married couples as per Japanese medical association guidelines. For those reasons, many Japanese women seek treatments in the U.S. and other countries.
When Mandy Bailey decided to fly from Phoenix to Baltimore to visit relatives, she planned to carry her 1-year-old conjoined twins on her lap to avoid the expense of buying a seat. She was paying for her own seat as well her sister-in-law Shar Lybbert's with her Delta frequent-flier miles, but her travel plans hit a snag when Delta insisted that she 
One day last year, Ellie came home from school with a paper bag decorated for Earth Day. She insisted that every piece of recyclable trash be put into this bag and then properly disposed of. Up to that point, we hadn't been doing a very good job of recycling things other than our newspapers. This wasn't for lack of desire, but more about the nasty note we received from the company that empties our recycle bin each week. We had it stacked wrong, we had the wrong things in it and we were just wrong, wrong, wrong. But thanks to Ellie's insistence, we began making more of an effort to recycle our trash again.
Like most women in their thirties, I know a few women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Three of them, to be precise, and they are all women in their late forties to early fifties who have never had children. I've never thought much about it, but according to 
Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a group of mothers at Ellie's dance class. We were talking about our children's friends and how difficult it is to talk to another mother when their child has misbehaved while in our homes. The upshot is that nobody wants to tell another parent when their child has done something wrong.
I think tis the season for running noses and raspy coughs and violent overnight stomach bugs. After my last round with the bathroom bucket, I felt the trickle of a flu bug creeping up on me. Sore throat. Achy legs. Tell-tale thud thud on the side of my cranium.
