My sons go to a small Catholic school. This school relies heavily on parent involvement, both because it's good for parents to be part of the school community, and because having volunteers take care of various jobs around the campus keeps costs down. I am all in favor of participating in my children's schools, but recently I've been feeling a little overwhelmed by the requests for help.

At least once a week, I get asked to substitute, for teachers who are ill or who have a conflict during the school day. While I am happy to help out in my kids' classrooms, I have drawn the line at subbing in other random classes where I don't know the kids or the teacher or anything about what is supposed to go on during the day. I am also happy to sub when the teacher can give me a few days (or, ideally, a week's) notice, but more often than not, the school calls me at the last second to ask if I can come in.

In the school's defense, they have a hard time finding parent substitutes because so many of the parents work or have younger children at home. Both of my boys are in school, and I work from home, so in theory I am footloose and fancy free (or at least more flexible than someone who actually has to show up at an office). On the other hand, my husband works long hours and I am solely responsible most days for the house and the food and the kids, including supervising their homework and shuttling them to whatever after school activities we have that day.

Oh, and somewhere in there, I'm supposed to be working.

I've been practicing saying no to the requests to sub, but I'm wondering if I need to ask the school to take me off their List of Moms We Call When We Need a Sub. Do you volunteer in your child's school? If so, are you clear about your boundaries, or are you willing to do whatever needs to be done?

I'm not particularly fond of wearing clothes. Sure, there are times when it's necessary to cover up -- to protect against the elements, for example. At home, however, in San Francisco, rarely does the temperature drop so low as to require anything more than a pair of down booties to keep one's toes warm. So, when I work at home, if there is no one else in the house, I generally don't bother with getting dressed.

So, when I saw a link to this article in Slate Magazine, which asks if it's okay for kids to see their parents naked, I was naturally (au naturel-ly?) interested. Unfortunately, the article doesn't really give a concrete answer. It seems there hasn't been a whole lot of research done (how would you do it, anyway?) and there aren't any real, hard answers.

Personally, I suspect it has a lot to do with how parents treat body image in general. If a parent believes -- and teaches their children -- that the human body is something unpleasant or impure and thus must be hidden away, I suppose seeing their parents naked could cause a problem for those children.

If, on the other hand, parents view the human body as just that -- a body, nothing more, nothing less -- than the children will not place any special emphasis or sense of import on the naked body. It seems to me that this may be beneficial later in life when they have to disrobe, such as when changing at the gym or dealing with an aging parent's incontinence. Even in the marital bed, I imagine, being comfortable with the sight of a naked body may help break the ice, so to speak. And it doesn't seem too far-fetched to me to think that accepting a naked body as normal and unexciting could lead to less curiosity later on about pornography and sex.

I don't, however, pretend to have all the answers. I'd love to hear what others think on this subject and hear if there has indeed been more research than is covered in the article. What do you think? Do you think parents should cover up in front of their kids?

It happens every year when my kids return to school: the Back to School Fairy (BTSF) gives me something other than a few hours of peace and quiet. She is sort of like the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause in that she comes but once a year and her her arrival is yearned for the entire month before she comes. Every September, after my children have had a few days to mingle their germs with all the other kids' germs at their schools, the BTSF brings me a sore throat, a runny nose, an achy neck and some serious fatigue. I love her for keeping my children occupied but I dread her for the week of maladies she tosses my way in exchange for the no kid thing.

This year the BTSF has struck particularly hard. I suspect she has done this because my youngest has started attending full days of preschool and she wanted to give me something to think about in his absence. The BTSF has knocked me flat on my back in such a manner that I can barely function. As soon as I finish the morning car pool I want to return to my bed and sip lemon tea and feel sorry for myself. All the projects I put off during the summer months continue to sit unfinished. My work and laundry continue to pile up as I cough and hack from my sheets. The only good part about this is that I know it will pass by next week and then I can tackle the mounting piles of work and laundry.

I know my children don't feel as elated about the end of summer as I do, their daily groans as they mourn the end of summer are evidence to this. But I am so giddy that I can hardly wait to deposit them all at their school entrances. For today I will have approximately four hours to myself. All three of my children start school today: my oldest heads off to high school, my middle will start 5th grade and my youngest returns to preschool. And the break will be much appreciated.

What will I do with that time? How will I possibly cope if I don't have to pick somebody up, plan a play date or find the Toy Story II DVD that has somehow been squished into the VCR slot? Well, to begin I am planning to work in peace without any interruptions. Then I will likely do some laundry and realize that it is almost time to begin the pick up routine. But somewhere in between the work and picking up I will likely begin to miss my brood. My youngest won't be climbing up on my computer chair to give me a hug. The middle child won't be there to tell me she loves me and the oldest won't be around to give me a hug when I sigh. It will be then that I will forget the frustrations of trying to work from home during the summer months. I will recall the late afternoon giggles, the staying up late and watching movies and the late breakfasts of bacon and pancakes. And I will drive just a bit faster to pick them up from school. Is there any middle ground in motherhood?

If both parents work outside of the home and a childcare situation arises - sick kids, school closing, babysitter didn't show - who do you think is most likely to miss work to care for that child? Despite the evidence that fathers are playing a larger role in caring for the kids these days, a new study by University of Cincinnati sociology professor David Maume shows that it will probably be mom making the sacrifice.

After analyzing surveys from more that 1,400 working mothers and fathers, he found that almost 78% of women reported taking time off from work to stay home with a child, compared to only 28% of men.

"There has been almost no change in men's priorities. Men put work first, and women weave or adapt their work around the family," says Maume.

That may be true, but I don't know that the reason is as simple as misplaced priorities. In my experience, men aren't as likely to have the support of their employers when it comes to family obligations. If a mother calls in to say she must stay home with a child, nobody thinks twice. But if a married dad does it, there are raised eyebrows and questions. Plus, in my house, my husband's job brings in more money than mine. If one of us is going to risk disappointing the boss, it is going to be me.

How does this work in your house? Who stays home when the kids stay home?

In our small corner of the world school begins on September 4. That means I have 12 days left until I drop my older two off at their new schools and walk my youngest in to his preschool. It also means that I have 12 more days left as an entertainment coordinator extraordinaire and a juggling fiend. Right now the number 12 seems like more than I can handle.

It is not that I don't enjoy spending time with my kids, I do and we have had an amazing summer full of wonderful adventures. However, my sanity is beginning to fray at the edges while I figure out ways to get my work done while still trying to be an attentive mother. Carting my teen to and from his school for soccer practices eats in to our mornings and evenings. My middle child has started soccer practices and the littlest one is out of preschool for the month of August. Staying up late and getting up early work on some days but I am a mother who needs at least five hours of sleep to function. I sometimes take my laptop with me and find a wireless hot spot to work while my son practices soccer. Other times I try to squeeze in some work while the youngest watches a movie.

Today I have hired a sitter for the youngest, found a play date for the middle child and am hiding in the library and working. It is sheer bliss to work without any interruptions and in a place where I can turn off my cell phone. It took a bit of juggling, but it was well worth the effort. Maybe I really can make it 12 more days....

For the love of all things holy, the smell is everywhere. It catches me by surprise: when I open the freezer, the top drawer of my dresser, Nolan's play basket. The lingering remnants of skunk have sunk into every pore in my house, no matter how hard I scrub, or bathe, or furiously add vinegar to various rinse cycles. The rains have come again today, which makes it even worse: the moment Jordi gets wet, the entire neighbourhood is socked in the middle of the face with the smell of a thousand dead walruses. Awesome! More reasons to be loved.

So finding this article on 8 surprising home deodorizers has come in very handy. I tried Lysol and whole coffee beans scattered strangely throughout each hard-hit room to no avail. But according to Real Simple, the truly effective de-stinkers are a little unconventional.

For example, did you know that half an onion will make your basement smell fresh? (And non-oniony!) And vanilla extract will de-funkify your freezer. Vodka works on funky-smelling clothes. Weird!

Anyway, the list doesn't say anything about de-skunking several days after the fact, but if I combine vodka, vanilla, and onion and smear them all around the house, I'll finally get rid of this appalling scent.

If you have any raunchy smells of your own lingering around the house, check this out. The cure for the stinky dog-bed awaits.

I've worked in advertising for several years now, so it's no surprise to me that marketers are looking to target Moms. One PR agency has even coined a custom term for the women it deems so critical to its clients marketing success: "Mom-fluentials."

Moms control a lot of the household spending, and today so many of them are online. What these women say and recommend are often considered much more convincing to other Moms than a nameless TV ad or radio spot. I may be a little biased on this topic because of the work I do, but my feeling is: pitch away to me. I'll ignore what I don't want and ultimately base my buying decisions on need, price and quality. I don't particularly care if a corporation markets to me with the assumption that I want to look sexy while hoofing a vacuum around the house, I'll just think "that's idiotic" and buy the brand next to it.

I've been following the controversy on BlogHer swag with much interest. For those of you who don't know: BlogHer holds a very popular blogging Conference every summer, complete with corporate sponsors looking to get inside the brain (and pocketbook) of bloggers and their readers. But apparently some of them are missing the mark.

I am especially intrigued by this post at Plain Jane Mom, where Plain Jane expresses her disdain for a sponsor at last week's conference who provided branded pot holders as part of their freebie gear. She believes that marketers who ply women with domestic household items (particularly at a somewhat technical conference) are missing the mark to the point of being offensive. She notes that "companies who hear "woman" and think "apron" make my blood boil ."

The comments that follow are supremely interesting, with many of Plain Jane's readers expressing agreeement for the insensitivity of advertisers looking to reach their coveted audience. I'm not so sure. I don't think there's anything sexist about giving a woman a pot holder as a freebie -- I wouldn't really be offended if a company gave out condoms, or barrettes or even Crocs, for the love of Pete. I'd probably just give them away.

How about you, Moms? Are you offended when an advertiser pegs you as a domestic sort because you have kids? I feel like I'm missing something.

Summertime can be a drain on moms everywhere. For those of us who work from home, the sudden influx of kids in our work spaces often means a decrease in productivity. Summer for kids means lots of activities and a director to coordinate those outings. More often than not, it is the mother who ends up being the activity director. I know I find that my nerves are frazzled by mid-July. With the trips to the swimming pool, the increased taxiing and almost constant companionship of my kids, I find myself daydreaming of autumn days when school will be in full swing and I will have a few moments to quietly work.

Being a WAHM is a gift that I cherish and don't take lightly. When I worked in an office I dreamed of being able to work around my kids' schedules. Now I have that dream and I wouldn't trade it for anything, except maybe a weekend at a spa for tired moms.

Are you experiencing summer burnout? If so, how are you coping? I am open to any suggestions.

When I was a kid, the adults around me had professions that were easily labeled and understood: farmers raised crops or animals; policemen caught bad guys and kept us safe, teachers taught, bank tellers banked, and secretaries answered phones and had affairs with their bosses.

Today, job specialization makes the formerly simple question "So what does your mommy/daddy do for a living?" a hard question for children to answer, as many information-age jobs seem to only require being on the phone and messing with a computer all day. I still have a strong suspicion that my brother-in-laws works for the Mafia because I can't understand what his job involves (something with accounting and insurance and large companies. Before that it was something to do with setting up or selling computer programs to corporations, I think).

A father tried to explain his job by saying he worked at a company that built hospital management software but he that didn't actually write the software, he managed the people who did. When his son asked what he did all day, the father bluntly laid it on the line, "I spend most of my day trying to get people to do what they ought to be doing without me having to tell them they ought to be doing it." (Sounds a lot like parenting to me.)

Do you have the sort of job that defies simple explanation? What do your kids think you do for a living?

I don't know a single Mom who doesn't struggle with work/life balance. Career Mamas who hold lucrative positions with powerful corporations feel guilt about not spending enough time with their kids. Stay-at-home Moms who cook gourmet meals and provide butterfly kisses to owies feel guilt about the fact that they're not blissed-out spending the entire day with their children. Even the part-time Moms I know feel a sort of limbo guilt -- like they are doing a half-job at the office and a half-job at home and never contributing fully in either place.

Suburban CEO is a relatively new website dedicated to helping stay-at-home Moms achieve a fulfilling balance. The site's author is a well-written Mom and career woman who wondered: " Why did women suddenly start eschewing life as housewives and flocking to the workforce starting in the 1960's? Why were most stay-at-home moms I knew counting the days until they could return to work?"

She claims to have discovered the answer, and proceeds to outline the five key elements missing from the lives of stay at home Moms -- and how to reclaim them.

I'm not a stay-at-home Mom, but I enjoyed reading the site anyway as a resourceful tool for Moms who work inside or outside the home.

Moms are less interested in working outside the home, according to a recent survey.

In the last decade, the number of moms who want to work full-time has dropped significantly -- with only 21% of moms who work outside the home describing their situation as ideal, down from 36% 10 years ago. Likewise, only 16% of stay-at-home moms expressed an interest in working full-time, which is down from 24%.

On the other hand, 72% of fathers surveyed preferred working full-time.

Especially considering the last statistic, this is a surprise. Given the recent increase in stay-at-home dads, coupled with the recent notion that parenthood can be hip, I would've thought these number reflected a shift in the attitudes of both men and women -- that staying home with the kids was preferred over spending 40 or 50 hours away at a job. It seems, however, that -- at least in the US, where the survey was conducted -- parents are dreaming of more traditional roles as mothers and fathers.

Could this be true?

I was also interested to read that 44% of stay-at-homes think it's "bad for society" to have so many moms working outside the home, and shocked to see that 34% of working moms felt the same way.

Are you a working mom? Do you wish you were at home? Are you a stay-at-home mom who'd prefer spending weekdays in an office? Does anyone really thinking working moms are sending our society down the tubes?

Leslie Morgan Steiner has an interesting (albeit unsurprising) post up at her Washington Post Blog, dispensing her take on a recent survey that concluded that the key to work-life balance with young children is working part time.

The survey includes some fascinating tidbits, including the fact that the majority of working moms (60%) find part-time work most appealing, while 72% of dads describe full-time work as their ideal. In addition: the higher a woman's education, the least likely she was to feel that she's a good Mom. Hmm.

Morgan Steiner notes that even though Moms desire part-time work, the actual number of part time working moms hasn't increased in a decade. She asks her readers whether or not they would take a part-time job if they were offered it. Her commenters get a tad off-topic, but I think her question is a good one.

Obviously, as a single parent and sole supporter of my son, I don't have the luxury of a part-time job. And, if I were offered part time hours by my employer, I'm not sure I'd take them. Being a sole provider is a scary endeavor, and I find myself wanting to horde my earnings and make sure we have a full well of resources for dry times, for Nolan's education and unforeseen circumstance. If anything, I tend to want to work more hours to provide security for my son, I think that that is the most important thing for him right now. I am lucky that my Mom works part time and can care for him when I must work, and I make sure that all my evenings and weekends are 100% dedicated to my son.

But I guess the short answer for me is: no, I would not take part time work if I were offered it. If circumstances were different and there was some other income coming in, perhaps my answer would be very different.

How about you? Would you work part time if you could?

The title of this Globe and Mail article got my attention. (Mostly because I'm a very immature 33-year-old who giggles at the sight or mention of the word "snatch") I had seen nanny snatching happen on Desperate Housewives. And I've often thought that if Supernanny Jo Frost were shooting an episode at a house down the street, I would have to wrap her up against her will and bring her home with me. But I didn't think that people actually did that in everyday life.

The article describes nannies being lured away for more money and gifts like free cars and yoga lessons. Sheesh! And here I am griping about my daycare situation.

An interesting point the article makes is that "nannies are most susceptible to a poacher's advances in the first month or two, before they get too close to the children." My blog friend Ali at Cheaper than Therapy recently had a nanny "poached" much to her dismay. Truthfully, I never thought of the impact on the children, but her post made me think of what it must be like to let someone into your home, build a level of trust and then have that person leave. That's tough.

When I asked Ali about her experience over email, her response was utter disbelief. "I've heard of this thing, this nanny-snatching, on TV, in books, in New York. I didn't think it happened here. [in Canada] I didn't think that a mother could have the balls to try to steal a nanny away from another family. And I certainly never thought a mother would steal a nanny from ME."

Once again, another story to highlight how one of the world's most important jobs -- taking care of our children -- is in critical condition. Do you have a nanny-snatching story to share? Nannies out there -- what can parents do to keep you?

A dear blogger friend of mine recently wrote a post on her personal blog about her daily/weekly beauty regime. Her inspiration for the post came from a bikini waxing incident gone awry. As she tenderly hoofed it around her house she rattled off all of her grooming endeavors and wondered if it was really worth it. I read down her list, an impressive but practical list of pruning and primping, and I began to wonder about my own upkeep. I am a Work at Home Mom and often only make it out my front door if I am dropping off or picking up kids from something. As I am gathering up the toddler, hunting for my purse and keys and a pair of matching shoes, I will occasionally hear a voice somewhere in the recesses pf my addled brain, "Duh, don't you know you look awful? Your kids are going to be mortified when you show up in your pajamas, again. You haven't bathed in four days and you have peanut butter smeared on your shirt." Sometimes I listen to that voice and throw on a clean shirt and a hat, other times I see my children putting on a courageous face as I drive up and I know they are praying I'll stay put in the car.


I have long suspected I am not alone in this personal presentation issue. The folks here at ParentDish are mostly a Work from Home crew, so I polled our writers to see if they had the same problems with stumbling to the keyboard to work while putting off hygiene until it either reaches an odoriferous status of emergency proportions or one of their kids has a school play requiring the presence of a clean parent. Some of the results are as follows:

• A number of our staff showers before we start working, that way we stay somewhat in sync with the rest of society and we don't have to interrupt our work flow later in the day to bathe.
  
• One clean item of clothing, usually a pair of pants, seems to be a big boost in morale for a number of our writers.
• Another staff writer routinely curls her eyelashes and wears lip gloss. Not only does this bit of sparkle make her feel snappy but her UPS guy is rumored to be pretty hot.
• One member goes the full distance. She finds ironing to be therapeutic and so dons a matching, ironed outfit on most days. This gives her that crisp, soothing line down her pants and the ability to take her boys to the park anytime of day without feeling like she should hide behind a tree from the other moms.

There you have it. As you read through the daily posts you now have a visual on our daily fashion state here at ParentDish. A few of us are runway ready, some of us are a bit fuzzy around the edges and need of some clean pants. It has inspired me to go take a shower and shave my legs.

Do you have a beauty routine? Anything you can't live without as you go through your day?