TVSquad

(S04E03) "The heart can be a bitch." - Alan Shore

I cannot begin this review without addressing how shocked I was with the opening scene. The very idea of a fifteen year old girl who contracts HIV made my jaw drop. I was shocked that a school would teach children that abstinence is the only effective way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STD's. When I was in school (many years ago) we were taught that while abstinence is the best way to avoid the pitfalls of teen sex, condoms are a close second, especially when it comes to avoiding disease. As a parent, it concerns me that my daughter's school might actually teach this sort of thing. Thankfully, Alan pointed out where the blame actually lies...in the lap of the U.S. government. In an effort to please the conservatives who elected them, the Republicans refuse to give schools an option that would teach teens a realistic way to have sex responsibly. I know it's only a TV show but only a fool would think this kind of thing isn't happening in some parts of the country.

Universal Pictures has just signed Brad Silberling to direct the big screen version of the '70s cult hit Land of the Lost. Silberling joins Will Ferrell on the project which is set to start shooting in March.

The original Saturday morning series told the story of explorer Rick Marshall who, while on a "routine expedition" with his children (for some reason) Will and Holly, fell through a fault in the Earth and ended up in a prehistoric world filled with dinosaurs, cavemen and evil lizard creatures known as sleestaks. Here's a little known fact, the "good" sleestak, Enik was played by NBA pro Bill Laimbeer.

Do you remember the Fox sitcom The Pitts? Of course not and why should you? The show premiered in 2003 and aired for only a couple of weeks before joining Drexell's Class, Costello and Freakylinks in that great big network in the sky.

The series, which starred Dylan Baker (Curt Conners from the Spider Man films) was about a family who had a continual run of bad luck. The series was as funny as the premise, which is exactly why it was cancelled.

Last week, I told you all about the glorious incident in which Danny Bonaduce gave Jon "Fairplay" Dalton a heaping serving of whip ass. Dalton asserted that he was going to press charges after the incident and followed up on the threat, giving Bonaduce one more trip in a squad car to tell his grandchildren about.

Well, as we all predicted the charges have been dropped.

I got another letter from a TV lover in need. Unfortunately, I have no memories of the show being described. If any of you can help out, please do.

"I remember a show that came on TV when I was a kid. Most memories are mid to late 80s. I can't remember the first half, but for the last 5 minutes of so of every show, the host, an elderly gentleman, would go draw on a large sheet of orange paper the size of a freestanding revolving chalkboard. "

When one of our favorite TV shows goes off the air, it always brings sadness. However, many times, the silver lining in the cancellation is the birth of a spinoff. Sometimes it can be a great thing (Frasier) and sometimes the results can be less than ideal (The Art of Being Nick). Last month's spin-off ideas were so popular, I decided to make this a regular post. Here are some more spinoff ideas that I would love to see.

The Sherwood-Forrest Report
After the retirement of veteran newswoman Murphy Brown, Corky Sherwood-Forrest and her husband Will Forrest become the hosts of a new show on Court TV. Corky is the moderator while Will provides legal expertise along with a rotating team of guest legal scholars (Marcia Cross, Star Jones, Greta Van Susteren).

On Tuesday night Danny Bonaduce made an unscheduled appearance at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards. While the show is supposedly an awards show it's really just an excuse to trot out reality stars and help promote Fox Reality's schedule.

At one point Jonny "Fairplay" Dalton, best known for his unscrupulous gameplay on Survivor, came onstage and was immediately booed. With a smile on his face, Dalton asked the audience, "Are you guys really booing?" In what must have been an attempt to clear up Dalton's confusion, Danny Bonaduce wandered onstage and informed Dalton and everyone else there, "They're booing 'cause the hate you."

Tonight at dinner, a friend of mine mentioned that he recently met Brent Spiner at an event. He then proceeded to tell me about how a particularly annoying Star Trek fan spent the entire evening bothering Spiner with questions about his character Data.

It reminded me of an episode of Joey where a similar thing happened, except in the episode, Spiner was more than happy to reminisce about his Star Trek days. He even went so far as to take Joey's nephew out to his car to show him his actual uniform from the show.

When one of our favorite TV shows goes off the air, it always brings sadness. However, many times, the silver lining in the cancellation is the birth of a spinoff. Sometimes it can be a great thing (Lou Grant) and sometimes the results can be less than ideal (Joey).

Here are some spinoff ideas that I would love to see.

Niles & Daphne
After Frasier leaves Seattle, Niles and Daphne are forced to take in Martin and Eddie. Daphne has to deal with Martin's new and more protective physical therapist (Patti Labelle). To make things worse, Maris moves in next door with her new husband (Jeff Goldblum).

The producers of Cavemen have made quite a few changes since the show was first picked up and while they are doing their best to keep these changes from being seen by the critics, they can't keep them a secret.

It's already well-known that the show has gone through some cast changes. Sam Huntington was added to the cast late in the game as the younger brother of caveman Joel (Bill English.)

Tonight marks the beginning of my favorite time of the year. The temperature has gone down to a tolerable degree here in L.A, the leaves are turning brown, people are starting to decorate their houses for the holidays and, most importantly, the new fall season is beginning.

Just like a kid on Christmas Eve, I await the arrival of the new fall shows with giddy excitement. I was lucky enough to see some of them already, but there are still plenty to look forward to.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals were all set to unveil their new ad starring Alicia Silverstone when the city of Houston decided that the spot was too hot for the Texas airwaves.

The spot features Silverstone skinny-dipping in a pool and extolls the virtues of a vegetarian lifestyle by showing off the body that her meatless choices have given her.

According to PETA, Houston is one of the highest-ranked cities in terms of bad eating habits. Comcast cable stated that the brief nudity was the reason for pulling the ad, even though it had already been bought and paid for.

The FOX network has announced plans for a brand new cop show about a police officer from Albania who is transplanted to the US.

The one hour project, currently tittled Raffik, will be a fish-out-of-water story focusing on the officer's reactions to the wonders of America.

The only details of the project that have been revealed are that Anthony Horowitz is the creator. Horowitz previously created Foyle's War and also worked on Poirot both for ITV.

Paramount Pictures is in final negotiations with Zoe Saldana to play Uhura in the upcoming Star Trek film. While the plot of the film is still a secret, it's well-known that the movie, which is being directed by J.J. Abrams, focuses on the early days of Starfleet and the younger versions of the well-known characters.

Saldana, who first came into the public eye as Britney Spears' girlfriend in Crossroads, also had a small part in the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy.

Once again, the gang at CollegeHumor.com have given us a blast from the past.

Remember Disney's adorable Gummi Bears? Well, in this retelling of the legend the bears are anything but adorable. The fake trailer is for a live action movie that tells the story of how evil forces within the government seek to destroy the Gummi Bears and learn the secrets of the Gummi Berry juice.