Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 13 October 2007
If you ask me the coffee served at the Imperial Hotel in Blackpool is the worst you're ever likely to drink. Perhaps the Tory delegates, the press and Michael Bloomberg's aides were too preoccupied too notice, but if anything was going to threaten to kill off the party during the Tory conference, it wasn't going to be Gordon Brown, it was going to be the coffee.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 06 October 2007
If you ask me, I owe William Hague a huge apology. While I appreciate that he is now the undisputed king of the after-dinner circuit and business-convention rota – funnier than Portillo, less grand than Heseltine and edgier than Major – and though it's perfectly obvious that he commands more respect as a politician now than at any time in his career, and even though he now has the inner confidence and smiley demeanour of the Complete Career Politician, there is a dark spot on the CV, a dark spot we're all aware of, a dark spot that I am partly responsible for.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 29 September 2007
If you ask me, the God-like genius of Brian Wilson is not quite as diminished as you might think, as anyone who saw the 65-year-old perform at the Royal Festival Hall in London a few weeks ago will know. I'd already seen him perform Pet Sounds there in 2002 (yup, I cried) and Smile at the same venue three years ago (how did he do that?); they were two of the best concerts I've ever been to, two performances so heartbreakingly perfect, so moving, both left me sort-of numb for days afterwards.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 22 September 2007
If you ask me (chaps), Angelo Galasso should be made the patron saint of office workers. Galasso (born 48 years ago in Francavilla Fontana, near Brindisi) is largely responsible for what you probably wore to the office yesterday, and what you'll probably wear to work on Monday. He's the reason you're not wearing a limp lettuce leaf round your neck, the reason you look halfway decent without a tie in the meeting you had yesterday, the reason you can get away with looking so casual at work. He has not been without celebrity patronage – his shirts have been worn by everyone (well, not everyone) from Sirs Paul McCartney and Michael Caine to David Beckham and Tony Blair – although his most important influence has been at work. Essentially, the Italian designer is the man who made open-necked, high-collared shirts fashionable, and you can see his influence in every office in every town in the country.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 15 September 2007
If you ask me, there is a distinct possibility that Gordon Brown could turn out to be George Harrison. But not in a good way. Any Beatles aficionado – in fact, these days, pretty much anyone with a tangential relationship with the history of the 1960s – knows that Harrison found himself perennially frustrated in the Beatles, on average being allowed only one song on each LP. Given the god-like genius of Lennon and McCartney, this is perhaps not so surprising, although by the end of the decade "the quiet one" had grown increasingly bitter.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 08 September 2007
If you ask me, La Colombe d'Or has become the most English restaurant in all France. The famous hotel and garden terrace restaurant in the hill village of St Paul de Vence in the Côte d'Azur is where the vacationing Brits come for solace after the pier-pressure at Villefranche or Paloma Beach, and it is now so heavily populated by them in the summer that the French no longer visit in August.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 01 September 2007
The Alastair Campbell Diaries is the gift that keeps on giving. A few months ago the gossip in the bars and restaurants of central London was full of anecdotes gleaned from its 794 pages. There was Tony Blair denying that he was "Labour" in the way that most people understood it; there was Blair saying his party was right to embrace those elements of Thatcherism that the public didn't find totally abhorrent; and there was Blair – again – on page 467 telling policy advisor Peter Hyman that what gives him "real edge" is the fact that he isn't "as Labour as you lot", before Campbell points out that this was a rather discomfiting observation from the leader of the Labour Party.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 25 August 2007
If you ask me Eastern Europeans are eradicating Britain's class system. Not knowingly, of course, and not with any great passion, but it's happening. And you've only got to go out to eat to know that it's true.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 18 August 2007
If you ask me London is about to finally get a train terminus it deserves. Marylebone – or Great Central, as it was originally called – might be the city's chicest train station, the terminal that best sums up London's continued love affair with Victoriana, but it is small and quaint and marginal, and not really how London sees itself these days.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 11 August 2007
If you ask me it has to be time for the Sammy Davis Jr biopic. The iconic Rat Pack entertainer died from throat cancer 17 years ago – a lifetime in Hollywood terms – and he suddenly seems to be sort of everywhere. He's there in the Evolution commercial for Guinness (telling the story of mankind's three billion year wait for the perfect pint, accompanied by "Rhythm of Life", one of Sammy's few classics); he's referenced in Amy Winehouse's extraordinary "Me & Mr Jones"; he's the subject of Will Haygood's biography In Black and White: The Life of Sammy Davis Jr (the best biography of an entertainer I've read in years); he's there, in person, in the gargantuan coffee-table book of his actually-quite-good photographs, published at the end of last year.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 04 August 2007
If you ask me, Gordon Brown owes me big time. Ten years ago, back when New Labour's bright new tomorrow had yet to dim, indeed, when it was actually quite vivid, I had a call from one of the Chancellor's aides. It was two weeks after the election, and his office were collectively euphoric. And full of questions. Could I, the interested party asked, help with a few matters of presentation? Could I suggest a few ways in which the Chancellor might be able to improve his performances in the House, how he might be able to appear a little more dynamic? Bullish though they were, even his private office knew that Brown lacked a certain élan when in front of a crowd.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 28 July 2007
If you ask me, Barbra Streisand was the role model for every American hip-hop star worth their mirrored shades, white towelling jump suits and costume jewellery. Her diva-esque traits – all of which I wholeheartedly applaud – have become a modern-day blueprint for excessive celebrity behaviour. The lateness, the – alleged – rudeness, the high-and-mightiness, Oh Babs, you were there first!
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 21 July 2007
If you ask me, rap music needs to move up a gear or two. Being based on some fairly suspect fundamentals – taking someone else's record and then complaining over the top of it in a very loud voice – I think it's time it enlivened itself a little.
Dylan Jones: If You Ask Me
Published: 07 July 2007
If you ask me the best album of all time isn't Nevermind, isn't Revolver and isn't Pet Sounds. Strangely it isn't even Sgt Pepper, London Calling or Sticky Fingers. No, the best album of all time was released 30 years ago next month, just as the sweltering Summer of Hate was beginning to wilt. But this record has nothing to do with The Sex Pistols, The Clash or The Jam (who all released classic LPs in 1977), has no affinity with the estuarial guttersnipe squall of punk. In fact, this record is as far away from the insurgency of punk as Southern California is from the Westway.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 30 June 2007
If you ask me, the Case Study Stahl House, designed by Pierre Koenig and built in West Hollywood in 1958 is probably the most iconic building in all Los Angeles. And probably always will be.
Dylan Jones: If You Ask Me
Published: 23 June 2007
Dylan Jones: If You Ask Me
Published: 16 June 2007
If you ask me restaurants are in danger of turning into nightclubs, the sorts of places where fanfare and funny chairs take precedence over tradition and service, where they promise the world and deliver an atlas. One month they're Pan-Pacific Rim, the next they're Urban Light Industrial – all concrete work surfaces, braised chorizo and pickled caper berries. One week pomegranate seeds are all the rage, the next it's all about truffle oil. In fact, truffle oil seems to have become the default garnish of modern café society, like polenta was a decade ago, cropping up in the most unlikely places. I went to a restaurant the other day in London where literally everything appeared to have been drizzled with the stuff, including the cutlery. The only thing that escaped was the coffee.
Dylan Jones: If You Ask Me
Published: 09 June 2007
If you ask me, Chicago is the finest city in North America. New York might be the most sophisticated, Los Angeles the most exciting and San Francisco the prettiest, but nowhere beats the grandeur of Chi-Town. Having spent a lifetime playing second fiddle to the Big Apple, everything here is twice the size it is anywhere else. The steaks are bigger, as are the burgers, the stadiums, the parks and the museums.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 02 June 2007
If you ask me, we should all pray that Michael Bloomberg decides to enter the Presidential race. He has been hinting for months that he might throw his hat into the ring, although the salient point is not the fact that he might run, but the knowledge that if he does, he will run as an independent. Bloomberg's billions means he can forgo the tedious and demeaning business of fundraising (he could spend $50m before breakfast without blinking), and all he has to do to begin his campaign is to announce it. And we wait with bated breath.
Dylan Jones: If You Ask Me
Published: 26 May 2007
If you ask me, canapé breath is the biggest cause of social unrest these days. Forget the recently "deselected" second wife – the blousy one with a fondness for large glasses of pinot grigio – forget the drunk and over-attentive auctioneer, forget the over-dressed forecourt salesman with designs on your second car. No, the one to avoid at next Friday's cheese and wine party is the chap with a mouth full of puréed salmon wrapped in desiccated packet pastry.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 19 May 2007
If you ask me, fashion journalism might soon be dead. According to Steve Lowe and Alan McArthur's horribly titled yet incredibly successful Is It Just Me Or Is Everything Shit?, fashion journalism is "Words to go with pictures of people wearing clothes written by boarding-school girls with misspelt first names (so many Zs) and double-barrelled second ones." Rude, yes, and based on puerile inverted snobbery. But they do have a point. Sort of.
Dylan Jones: If you ask me
Published: 12 May 2007
If you ask me, the flag of St George should be banned from public display, especially in the villages and hamlets of England's green and pleasant land. The flag has become analogous to a tattoo, an easy way to express (y)our aggression, frustration, rage, or simple disregard for the pleasantries of everyday life. The writer Tony Parsons once said that when you can't make a mark on your life, you make a mark on your body; in this case, you just hang a large white and red piece of fabric from your bedroom window. A piece of fabric that you see as soon as you drive into the village.
Dylan Jones: Two faces of the Maldives
Published: 23 April 2007
Dylan Jones: Enjoying the Vegas experience
Published: 17 April 2007
Cities are where we all go to reinvent ourselves, where we look to throw off our past and embrace a different kind of future.
Dylan Jones: Few things are real in Vegas
Published: 16 April 2007
Cities are where we all go to reinvent ourselves, where we look to throw off our past and embrace a different kind of future. But no one would try to reinvent themselves in Las Vegas - not only would no one notice, but the town's principal ambition in life (if we assume that its very reason for existence is to divest you of all your hard-earned cash) is reinventing itself.
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