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You're getting married. It's your second wedding, which means you already have a ring. NO, you're not going to save yourselves a few bucks by re-using your old ring! So, what do you do with the old one?

There is a middle position between tossing it and re-using it. After all, however your first marriage ended, by death or divorce, it did contribute to who you are today. Maybe it even helped learn a few hard lessons that will make you a better spouse to your new partner, (or improved your powers of discrimination in choosing potential partners!).

Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly (unless you're planning on a starter husband). It's scary, and huge, and forever can feel pretty daunting. Plus, it's not like marriage comes with instructions ... or does it?

For those of you looking for some guidance, I encourage you to check out Instructions on Marriage from The Brick Testament, but only if you like Legos and have a pretty good sense of humor (which obviously you do -- you're reading my post, aren't you?). Enjoy!

My husband and I were married in 1994. Like many couples, we registered all the usual things: flatware, linens, crystal, dishes. Thirteen years later, we have broken all the wine glasses, chipped the plates, and fed at least two spoons to the garbage disposal (this week alone). The monogrammed towels are long gone. Only the coffee pot has survived unscathed.

After all these years, our favorite gift -- the one we have displayed in every home we have lived in, the one our kids ask about, the one that reminds us fondly of the giver -- is our Gurgling Cod. The Gurgling Cod, sold by Shreve, Crump, and Low, is a Boston tradition. According to an article in Boston magazine, "Over the past seven decades it's become a ubiquitous Boston icon-the odds you don't know anyone who owns a cod are about the same as your not knowing anyone who's been to a Sox game. Shreve's pitchers have made their way into thousands of households and become a source of local lore."

If the bride and groom are from Boston, or if YOU are, consider a Gurgling Cod as a wedding or engagement gift. I promise that in ten years, that cod will still be part of their household, long after the china and crystal have been broken and replaced.

The Gurgling Cod is available from Shreve, Crump, and Low, and retails for $45.00 to $95.00.

We've talked about theme weddings and surprise wedding, traditional and non-traditional. Here's a new spin on the wedding idea that will have anyone's head spinning (anyone with any manners and/or class, that is):

The Sponsored Wedding.

Yes, indeedy. Your wedding as advertising venue. Flowers, food, and festivity, all provided for free, in exchange for ads in your wedding program!

Looking for an alternative to the Big White Dress? Want something chic and cool and just a little bit sexy? Look no further -- Alex Evenings has the perfect dress.

This dress is listed as a "Mother of the Bride" dress, but don't be fooled; it has Cool Urban Bride written all over it. Champagne colored metallic lace is layered over a satin lining; the skirt has tiny pleats, right at the waistline, and the hem and bust are delicately scalloped. Wear the lace shrug for the ceremony and remove for the party.

This is a dress that is best for tall, slim brides; it is also a dress that would be perfect for a bride whose everyday style is sleek and streamlined and classic. Keep this in mind as well for an engagement party or rehearsal dinner dress. After all, how often do you get to wear lace and have it be completely appropriate?

Dress available at Nordstrom, in petite and regular sizes 6 - 16, for $152.00.

This is one of those products that I'm KICKING myself for not looking into for my wedding. I'm forever trying out new mascaras to achieve just the right look, and of course that look was never more important than it was for my wedding. Turns out you don't even need mascara to have lashes like Liz Hurley -- you can get lash extensions.

Okay, first off, this is something that should only be done by a specialist as they are semi-permanent and near your eye, so don't mess around and have Aunt Betty do it because she wore fake eyelashes in the sixties. This is something different -- the synthetic lashes are actually applied to your own eyelashes, adding length, volume, and curl to what you already have. This also means they'll fall out with your natural lashes, so you'll need to get a touch-up every two to four weeks or so.

Ricardo Chavira from Desperate Housewives (you know, big angry Carlos Solis), married his longtime girlfriend Marcea Dietzel last month. We all know these celebrity weddings: big on glitz. Not these two! They were married in their home on September 22nd.

Home weddings can be tremendously elegant, though, and we all know celebrity homes: a "nice little place" for them is a "palatial mansion" for the rest of us. Again: Not these two! I don't know what their home looks like, but I do know that the bride and groom were sumptuously attired in ... their pajamas. Their nod to tradition? They had a ring-bearer, young Tomas, their four-year-old son.

And for the reception? The happy family all trotted off to watch Tomas's soccer game.

I like their style!

Certainly one of the major things that makes bridezillas out of brides is when a girl uses her wedding to create drama (it's MY day - no compromising!). Can we all just sit down, breathe, count to ten, and grow up? But it's not just brides who are guilty of using weddings for drama.

Case in point: this older sister of the bride wrote in to Mariella Frostrup of Dear Mariella to whine about not being included in her sister's bridal party. Though it's clear from her letter that the two sisters don't even like each other, big sis is so horribly offended at not being asked to be matron of honor -- and worse still, not even a bridesmaid at all -- that she is considering boycotting the wedding.

Mariella puts siszilla in her place, though, pointing out that the only reason she seems to want to be a bridesmaid anyway is for competition's sake, and that she'd have a much better time if she'd just get over herself and remember that not being a bridesmaid means she gets to spend the wedding weekend as she pleases, instead of as the sister she doesn't even like plans her time for her.

Why, why, why do weddings bring out the worst in some people? Note to friends and family of the couple: you had, or will have, your chance at your own wedding. This one is not yours to ruin.

These little bits of paper have the potential to be one of the most treasured part of your wedding keepsakes. Imagine giving one of these cards to everyone who attends your shower. Have them each write down a memory of you, of your affianced, of the first time they met you as a couple. Some particular memory that makes them smile, or laugh, or carries particular meaning.

You could use these at a bridesmaid lunch, or -- and here's a way to get those really old memories that might otherwise be completely lost -- give them to your parents and grandparents at the rehearsal dinner or even at the reception.

After the wedding, you'll have your memories, you'll have the pictures, and you'll have a pocketful of little cards, each with a personal memory from someone who loves you. Beautiful!

This morning, my husband stopped to pick up coffee. When he came home, he said, "I saw The Bachelor at Starbucks." He meant John Paul Merritt, who lives here in Oklahoma City; Merritt was NOT the Bachelor but he WAS one of two eligible guys to propose to Jen Schefft at the end of Season 3 of The Bachelorette.

In case you don't follow these things, Jen said no. She also turned down the other guy, Jerry. And I only know that because it was hard to be living in Oklahoma City and NOT know about it. Not because I watch reality TV shows where good looking singles in their 20s go looking for soul mates.

Not usually, at least.

You probably know that a couple's 25th anniversary is called their silver anniversary, and the 50th is gold -- that's because the traditional gifts for these milestone anniversaries are, well, silver and gold. But did you know that there is a traditional gift for almost every year you celebrate together?

The traditional gift for your first anniversary is paper. Sounds like that's just what you've always wanted, huh? Stick with the marriage long enough, and the gifts get a lot sweeter (you get crystal at 15 years), but your first anniversary gift to your sweetie doesn't have to be as boring as it sounds.

Need some ideas for how to make paper a good gift?

There are theme weddings, there are traditional weddings. But a surprise wedding? Yes, indeed! If you don't want to inconvenience your guests, if you don't want them feeling obliged to provide gifts, if you have a pushy family, or just don't want a whole lot of fuss, you might consider this option.

A surprise wedding occurs when you invite people to what they think is merely a party -- you can let them know the formality of attire in advance, if you like -- and then, when they've all gathered, you spring the officiant and have yourselves a wedding!

One couple did this at what the guests thought was an extended family-reunion barbeque, and it was a great success -- the wedding, and, since they're still together 11 years later, it seems the marriage was, too! A second couple had a surprise wedding in a room full of strangers, just because weddings are so fun. I gather the wedding was a great party, but the marriage? Lasted about four months. So a surprise wedding can start a marriage of a lifetime. An impulse wedding? Not such a great idea ...

When we think of bridesmaids, we think about a bride and her closest adult friends. But traditionally, bridesmaids were usually the bride's younger sisters and cousins, girls who were not married (thus the "maids" label) and were being paraded out at the wedding so that they could find their own husbands. And because, once upon a time, women married very young, bridesmaids were often just children themselves.

The world is a very different place these days; most of us don't marry when we are still children, for starters. In fact, many of us marry later, after our friends and siblings have had children of their own. But every so often, I go to a wedding where the bride has returned to this tradition of having the little girls as her maids, and I find it incredibly charming. One friend had her nieces process down the aisle with her; the four girls, who ranged in age from two to twelve, wore wee white dresses with colored sashes, much like the ones pictured here. They were adorable, and the wedding photos of the bride and groom surrounded by these munchkins were fantastic.

When you start choosing your wedding party, think about returning to this tradition -- have a best man, a maid or matron of honor, and a few little girls, either family or friends' children. It's an easy way to simplify the wedding party, and to include the kids. And honestly, while big girls are likely to complain about the burden of being a bridesmaid, little girls are always thrilled to be included.

Flower girl dresses from Nordstrom, $118.00.

For my wedding, my entire budget revolved around the reception entertainment. My favorite band, though not a wedding band at all, was available and willing to play, and I actually set my date based on their touring schedule. This group is a pretty big deal around the folk scene these days, but they were just getting started when I booked them, so the expense wasn't impossible.

But if you're not a die-hard folkie like I am, maybe you don't really care who provides the music, as long as there are tunes at your reception. So how do you decide between a live band and a DJ? Cost is probably the biggest factor. So what will you need to figure in, and how much can you expect to pay?

Her last beau may have sworn off marriage, but Pamela Anderson seems willing to try, try, try again. This time, as Kristen told us, she's hitched to Rick Salomon. Bet you're just dying to know what brought sweet Pamela, probably so cautious, scarred from her two previous failed marriages, to try for True Love once more.

They've been friends for 15 years, after all. What caused the sparks to ignite? What brought the happy lovers to realize they were made for each other? (And no, it wasn't the his'n'hers sex tapes.) No, it was far sweeter than that. Anderson told Ellen DeGeneres in September that "I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors, and I fell in love. It's so romantic. It's romance."

Oh, yeah. Sex for money. Everyone knows that's sooo romantic. I'd say don't hold your breath for this marriage, either, but actually, you're probably safe. It won't last that long.