Anheuser-Busch (NYSE: BUD)'s third quarter earnings of 95 cents a share beat analyst expectations of 92.5 cents, with U.S. sales by volume up 2% over 2006, same quarter. International sales grew a hefty 8.2%, and equity partner brands Grupo Modelo and Tsingtao, were also up 7.6%. Overall, the company poured 45 million gallons in the period.

Net sales reached $4.6 billion, up 7.6% over 2006. The jump is attributed to both increased volume (2%) and better pricing (3.1%).

BUD has overcome a slow first quarter to show a year/year increase in earnings of 5.7% for the first three quarters, with diluted EPS also up 9.2% to $2.49. It also held its share of the U.S. beer market, estimated at 48.8% vs. 48.7% a year ago.

The company announced shareholders will receive a 33 cent dividend.

Not all is frothy, though, according to analysts surveyed by Reuters. They point to an ongoing weakness in core brands Budweiser and Bud Light that was somewhat obscured by the strong performance of equity partner brands.

BUD also announced forthcoming price hikes for its beers in the fourth quarter of this year and early 2008. Combined with the threat posed by the recent partnering of Molson Coors (NYSE: TAP) and SABMiller (OTC: SBMRY) in the U.S. market, these earnings, while pleasing, will leave many investors still skeptical.

Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like an empty rental and a copper thief, these two seem drawn together.

The leader in the mortgage meltdown, Countrywide Financial (NYSE: CFC) managed to leverage its bon-homey, don't-ask-don't-tell lending policies into a corporate disaster. Where, you might ask, can it turn to make lemonade out of these lemons?

To answer this I asked myself, what do people do when the mortgage bill is greater than the sum of their paychecks, savings, hockable goods and child's piggy bank? Usually, when the going gets tough, the tough go drinking. Who, then, would be a better partner for Countrywide than distilling giant Diageo plc (NYSE: DEO)?

The newly dispossessed won't be drinking alone, either. With the CEO selling off his holdings, the SEC reviewing the company's stock option awards, and massive layoffs through the industry, millions of us with a piece of the mortgage business could use a stiff shot of J&B with a Guinness chaser.

Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like a Best of the Bee Gees CD and a mullet haircut, these two seem made for one another.

I admit to frequent bouts of pettiness, and the name Bed, Bath and Beyond (NASDAQ: BBBY) tickles that nerve -- beyond what? And isn't the word order wrong? Don't most of us bathe, then go to bed, and then, if we're lucky, beyond?

So, out of that petty reasoning, I went looking for a candidate for BBBY that could resolve the confusing name problem, and came up with the perfect candidate: Playboy Enterprises (NYSE: PLA). With Hugh Hefner as a partner (in the business sense, that is), we would know exactly what was meant by "beyond."

The partnership even makes vague business sense. Playboy is attempting to take its storefront operations in locations such as London upscale, with designer goods and minimal sleaze. Stocking them with some of the more high-end BBBY goods might make them more appealing for middle-class shoppers.

The news has been particularly commodious this week. Among the highlights:

Sim Jae-Duck of Seoul, Korea is so serious about campaigning for clean restrooms for the world's needy that he is constructing a new $1.6 million manor in the shape of an enormous loo. Jae-Duck, founder of the World Toilet Association, will open the Toilet House to the public next month. Visitors can rent the home for a night for a mere $50,000, proceeds of which go to fund the Association's goal of providing toilets to those in need.

Theme restaurants may have finally reached their pinnacle (or bottomed out) in the Toilet Restaurant, a restaurant in a Taiwan spot that features toilets for seating and serves its noodle dishes in dog-dish sized ceramic toilet bowls. I'm hoping they don't have any chocolate desserts on the menu.

India is playing host this month to the seventh World Toilet Summit (WTS). Representatives from forty-plus countries will gather in New Delhi to track progress on their goal of providing sanitary toilets to the entire human population by 2025. According to the World Health Organization, as referenced by Reuters, 2.6 billion people currently have no access to a proper toilet. This does not include tourists wandering around Manhattan.

Finally, I can't adequately describe this flash game created by the World Toilet Association, other than to say that if you're up for a scatological challenge...

Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like a raisin and an infant's nose, these two seem made for one another.

Every company that enters a market would be well advised to have an exit strategy (eh, Mr. Bush?). Kellogg Co. (NYSE: K) entered the fiber business over 100 years ago, and has made its fortune helping the American public by offering an exit strategy for its food intake.

So, in the interest of integrating businesses, I thought a natural partner for Kellogg might be Orchids Paper Products (AMEXあめっくす: TIS), maker of bulk toilet paper, a product sure to help the combined company's bottom line.

After all, both depend on fiber for their success. Since one is "import" oriented, the other focused on the "export" business, their combined forces have great cross-marketing potential. For example -- how about a roll of toilet paper in every box of All-Bran? Given the boomer population's advancing age, the market for these products should be outstanding.

Kellogg and Orchids Paper Products -- a regular powerhouse to keep the American public's supply chain flowing unimpeded.

Palm Bay, Florida has cracked open Pandora's box by considering a motion that would prohibit the city from purchasing goods from China if the same goods are available from a U.S. source for no more than 150% of the price. The measure defines a Chinese good as one with 50% or more of its parts made in China, and does not include purchases under $50. The effect of such a move on our balance of trade would be negligible, but it is sure to ratchet up what I think will become a torrid political issue as we approach the 2008 elections. If our economy continues to meander toward recession, look for more and more fingers to point to the east as the cause of our economic woes. Of course, this argument is as clueless as the claim that Afghanistan and Columbia are responsible for our country's drug problem. In both cases, we the American public have voted with our dollars about what we really want, like it or not. We want blow and cheap goods, even if they come at the expense of our fellow Americans' jobs.

Most mergers are driven by the notion, sometimes wildly mistaken, that the combination will bring both a competitive advantage. Some pairs of companies, however, seem so intuitively right for one another, no bottom-line considerations should be allowed to interfere with their matrimony. Like a hyperactive kid and a hungover salesman sharing the same flight, these two were meant to sit side by side.

Travel on airlines such as American (NYSE: AMR) has become a nightmare of long lines, pat-downs and hours spent in a space smaller than your golden retriever's home crate. On the other hand, package shipping with companies such as FedEx (NYSE: FDX) has become extremely simple, reliable, timely and inexpensive. I can't help but think that merging the two would provide us a new option. With the right size shipping box and larger drop-off boxes, why couldn't I FedEx myself to Acapulco?

Sure, the box might seem confining, but have you sat in the center seat of the back row on an AMR flight lately? The discomfort of the automated handling system would be offset by the convenience of pick-up and drop-off locations in over 220 countries. You could save money by being delivered directly to your destination at the other end, as long as someone there will sign for you. Bathrooms might be a problem, but for an answer look no further than the recent escapades of a spurned astronaut.

A week after Morgan Stanley (NYSE: MS) walked away from the New York Times (NYSE: NYT) after futilely trying to reshape its direction, the Times re-energized its brand a bit with a strong 3rd quarter earnings report. Net income finished up 6.7%, while earnings per share were $.10, well above the .05 expectations of analysts polled by Thompson Financial.

The strong earnings came from the News Media Group, which realized an increase in operating profit of 42.9%. Tighter costs controls, an NYT price increase and increased rental income in its new headquarters all contributed to increasing revenues.

The internet side of the business, the About.com group, brought in 34.9% more in revenue. However, due to costs associated with the integration of of ConsumerSearch.com and investments in new business, the expense side of this sector grew also, resulting in a decrease in operating income of 2%. At present, this group contributes only 3% of the total revenues, demonstrating that the company is still firmly grounded in paper and ink.





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Bob Dylan's fascination with Cadillac (NYSE: GM) can be traced back to his first album, Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. In "Talkin' World War III Blues," Dylan imagines driving a Cadillac through Manhattan, declaring it's a "good car to drive, after a war."

Now, the singer has signed on to star in a multi-platform marketing campaign for the storied brand. The campaign will be tied into the Theme Time Radio Hour, Dylan's respected XM Satellite Radio (NASDAQ: XMSR) show. The theme of tomorrow's episode, the launch of the campaign, will be the Cadillac.

By now, the irony of '60s musicians cashing in on their anti-establishment image by shilling for The Man is old news. I do often wonder, though, why virtually every rock/pop song used for commercials seems to come from the '60s and '70s. Just how effective are these ancient tunes in reaching potential customers, for whom these songs are as old hat as Rudy Vallee's were in my childhood? (Yeah, I'm old.)

While Dylan has shown the courage to evolve his music gracefully, producing some of his most appealing tunes in what would be the twilight of most careers, this won't do much to enhance his image. The incongruity of attempting to use his scruffy, roots image to rebrand Cadillac seems a bit clueless. I can't imagine playing "A Hard Rain's A-gonna Fall" or a similarly mournful tune about injustice, on the CD player of a Escalade.

Lockheed Martin (NYSE:LMT) today announced strong third-quarter earnings. In light of the booming business, it also increased its 2007 return on invested capital projection to 20%, and forecasts 2008 ROIC of as much as 18%.



The company reported net earnings for the quarter of $766 million, up from $629 million in the same quarter of 2006. Diluted EPS for the quarter was $1.80, well above analyst expectations of $1.64 and up from $1.46 in 2006. The performance supports the company's July updated projection that 2007 EPS will reach $6.70-$6.85.

Most impressively, each of the four business segments comprising Lockheed reported gains. Operating profits for Aeronautics was up 12.4%, primarily due to strong combat aircraft sales. Electronic Systems rose 12.3% due to missile and maritime sales. Information Systems and Global Services climbed 9.1% as the company's combat support services realized higher volume, and Space Systems finished 10% over same quarter 2006 thanks to satellite and missile systems sales.

In September, the company announced a 20% dividend increase for the second quarter of 2007, as well as increasing its buyback program by 20 million shares.

With a weak dollar, the emergence of new economies around the world interested in developing national defenses, and renewed interest in space programs, the company seems to have found the sweet spot in numerous markets. Investors seem to agree. The stock was up by 0.46% in early trading, to $107.70.

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As American major league sports approach the saturation point in the U.S. market, they are increasingly looking overseas for growth opportunities. Since basketball has been embraced in countries as diverse as Slovakia, China and Brazil, the NBA is clearly leading the pack in this effort. Next week, however, as reported by The Wall Street Journal (subscription), the National Football League will attempt once again to find cleated footing in the European market for American-style football.

The patsies for this effort will be the Miami Dolphins and New York Giants, who will face off in London on Sunday the 28th. Neither team, I'm sure, is eager to interrupt its mid-season routine in this way (although the Dolphins, winless to date, might appreciate having an ocean between themselves and their irate fans). This represents a new initiative for the league, which has tried to promote the NFL in Europe with exhibition games, which didn't work, and by establishing a minor-league NFL with franchises in major European cities. The league announced this week that it was folding this NFL Europa after 15 years.

League commissioner Roger Goodell made the absurd statement recently that they are "looking at" holding a Super Bowl in London, which makes me wonder if he's had his bell rung a few too many times. Basketball thrives internationally, I believe, because it does not require much equipment and does not directly compete with already entrenched, similar sports. It is also a sport that, even played badly (that's me), can be enjoyable. Football, on the other hand, required a tremendous amount of equipment, special facilities, and isn't much fun for the schmucks (I speak from experience) who block and tackle.

Europe already has football-- a type that allows everyone to play, that requires everyone to run and get fit rather than pork up, and has a history much older than Red Grange. I doubt the NFL will have any more luck converting them to our game than Major League Soccer has had establishing its sport in the U.S.

Harley-Davidson (NYSE:HOG) announced its third quarter earnings this morning, and they reflected the slack in demand the company warned us about last month. For the quarter, net income fell to $265 million from $312.7 million in the same quarter of 2006, and diluted EPS was $1.07, compared to $1.20 in 2006. Analysts surveyed by Thomson Financial had expected earnings of $1.05

U.S. sales fell by 2.5%, but international sales, up 8.8%, helped keep the drop in overall world sales to only 0.2%. For the year, the company now expects to ship 332,000 bikes, down 4% from 2006. EPS is also expected to finish 4-6% behind 2006 totals of $3.93, quite a swing from the 4-% growth the company projected in its 2nd quarter report.

Harley-Davidson Financial Services revenue fell, as might be expected, in step with the decline in sales, lagging 10.4% from a year earlier.

One bright note in the report is that, while the company's sales for the first nine months of 2007 were off 4.7%, the overall sales of heavyweight motorcycles, the class in which most of H-D's bike fall, was off 4.4%. This suggests that the company is not losing market share to its competition.

For more perspective, read Sheldon Liber's take on H-D.

Looking for the perfect Christmas gift? Why not buy your kids some carbon offsets? That should give them something to whine about to their therapists.

Unfortunately, CO₂ pollution is no joke, but eBay (NASDAQ: EBAY) is partnering with the Pop!Tech social innovation network to organize the Pop!Tech Carbon Initiative, which allows you to buy your carbon offsets via the Internet marketer. The offsets won't be auctioned, however, but sold in a 'buy it now', flat-price form.

The site offers a simple carbon calculator to allow you to estimate the amount of CO₂ you generate per year. I supposedly am responsible for 11.5 tons.

Once my carbon debt was calculated, I was given some carbon-saving projects from around the world that I could choose to fund to offset my carbon debt. In my case, these included a solar irrigation project in Benin ($10/ton), reforestation in Nicaragua ($5.50/ton), and converting ceramic kilns to biomass in Brazil ($10.50/ton). By these figures, it would cost me roughly $600-$1200 to offset my carbon debt.

The project is scheduled to run through the end of the year, but shop early for the best selection!

According to a report issued by Help Net Security, as many as 19 of every 20 emails are spam. Thanks to good filters on my various accounts, I don't see much of this, so I was astounded to see how those most loathsome of subhumans, the spammers, have taken over the email world.

The report is full of bad news for those of us dependent on electronic communications. One attack during the third quarter of 2007 used more than 11,000 "zombie" IP addresses (computers taken over via virus infections) to unleash a tsunami of penis enhancement and stock tip emails.

The types of malicious spam are also evolving. Just a few months ago, I was receiving stock tip spam in the form of text saved as an image. Now that my troops have learned to discard those, the sleazebags have gone to using other file types, like PDF, Excel and Word files, to entice me to open them and thereby infect my PC.

If you back out the painful losses from its ill-advised Skype purchase, eBay posted some pretty impressive earnings numbers today for the 3rd quarter of 2007. EPS of $.41 well exceeded the market expectations of $.33 on an operating income of $593 million and net revenues of $1.89 billion, an increase over same quarter of '06 of 30%. The company also purchased back almost 15 million shares during the quarter.

With the Skype fallout included, however, the picture was less rosy. GAAP operating income was in the red by $938 million, for a loss of 69 cents. However, the company told the Wall Street Journal (subscription) that that it does not anticipate having any future charges related to Skype to sully future earnings reports.

eBay credits strong performance by its PayPal program, StubHub, and advertising businesses for the stronger than expected performance. The market responded with a late surge, driving the stock up to close at $40.60, an increase of 5.18% for the day.

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