May 1, 2008 12:07

I'm Starting to Get the Point of That Hulk Movie

There's a new trailer out for the rebooted Ed Norton version of The Hulk that opens June 13th. It's here.

I think I'm finally getting the point of this movie. It's about a sensitive guy who can't control his super-strong radioactive alter ego. That's it. There's nothing else. Norton and this director, Louis Leterrier (the auteur of, wait for it, Transporter 2), have set out to raise this franchise from disaster to mediocrity. And they just...might...do it!

But seriously, I will go see this. I always like watching Norton on screen, if only because he looks like an actual nerd and doesn't tend to over-act. And you gotta love that old school Hulk TV show music.

In other news, Harry Potter has dropped off the bestseller lists for the first time in 10 years.

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April 30, 2008 12:14

My Thing About Grand Theft Auto IV

I've never been way into the GTA series. I've been medium-into it from time to time. I played Vice City and San Andreas, but never to state of total unambiguous completion. The sad truth is, I am one of those gamers people complain about, who are totally focused on combat simulation, and there are way way better pure combat simulators out there than GTA. After you've spent some time in Halo 3 and Gears and COD4, etc., the GTA games just look blocky and cheap, the repertoire of movements frustratingly constrained, the AI limited, the fluid modelling of the blood-spatters insufficiently detailed, and so on.

Obviously they sacrifice that stuff to maximize other aspects of the game: the size and detail of the environment, the complexity and sophistication of the story, the freedom and open-endedness of the gameplay. And I'm just gonna say -- and it's seeming sorta obvious as I type it, but just so somebody somewhere says it -- those kinds of things are exactly the opposite of what's supposed to be drive sales among hardcore gamers.

Yes, there is a shocking aspect to the games, because there are a lot of non-combatants around, whom you can shoot and run over, etc., and there is sex -- basic-cable sex! -- in the game. But that stuff isn't really part of core gameplay, and most people don't bother with it that much, except for a few times for the sake of looky-looky. It's not like killing civilians is rewarded. (And it's not like real civilians aren't being killed, in real life, in the actual world, and could use some media attention, for Crom's sake.)

You can get way better-quality violence elsewhere. What drives GTA sales is good writing and storytelling.

And now, Dave Chapelle.

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April 30, 2008 1:47

The Gauntlet Has Been PWND

It's been twenty-three hours since 12:00 AM Pacific Standard Time, when Grand Theft Auto IV hit the streets of Los Angeles. My neck is stiff. My wife is mad. My dog is swollen with urine. But after almost a day of Liberty City action, one thing is clear:

Grand Theft Auto IV multiplayer blows Halo 3 multiplayer away.

Will the world ever be the same?

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April 28, 2008 11:11

The Smallest Problem In The World

A lot of movies these days are "From The Guys Who Brought You" some other movie. Of course, "From The Guys Who Brought You" is a perfectly bland way of saying -- if you liked Superbad, you'll like Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I did like Superbad, and I did like Forgetting Sarah Marshall. However, this dumb marketing phrase has inflicted a greater wound on society.

Recently, a waiter said to me: "And now your entrée, From The Guys Who Brought You... your appetizer." Oh, God no. "From The Guys Who Brought You" has infected the world of unfunny people trying to be funny. Like "What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas" before it, this little phrase has leaked out of the marketing world, gained cultural traction, mutated, and now every NPR-level recreational humorist thinks this:

WHEN YOU APPLY THE PHRASE "FROM THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT YOU" TO SOMETHING THAT ISN'T A MOVIE, THE NEW PHRASE EQUALS... A JOKE.

And it does not. But the damage is done. All the real-life Alton Browns in the world just got that much more unbearable. Before long, high school history teachers trying to connect with their jenkem-addled students, will be saying "World War II, From The Guys Who Brought You... World War I." Political jokers, making their smart points, will complain about "melting icecaps, From The Guys Who Brought You... global warming."

The only way to tell when this new, insufferable "joke" has run its course is when it trickles down to my Mom. But please let me not be there when it happens. (Great lady, but she still thinks nothing of saying "Why Don't You Tell Me What You Really Think?")

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April 28, 2008 11:04

Guillermo del Toro Is Really Directing the Hobbit Movies Really

He is. Or didn't we know this already? I guess it wasn't official before. And it is now.

Good news, right? In a way it would have been cool to have Jackson do the whole series -- there would have been that consistency in tone throughout all the movies. But spending that much time in Jackson's head was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. I'm ready to see Middle Earth through somebody else's eyes. I don't actually know that much about del Toro -- I saw Hellboy but not Pan's Labyrinth (except that scene with some guy with eyes on his hands, which was cool) -- but everybody seems to think he's a visual whiz. And you know, everybody is always right.

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