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Super Skank Wednesday: Charm School for the men of I Love New York

UnsureWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

So no I Love Money on Sunday night? Wha-what? Pshaw! How can I do my awesome picture books without a new episode?

Okay enough complaining. After the jump, I'm going to discuss a show that doesn't exist (yet) in the VH1 skanktastic line-up: Charm School: The Men of I Love New York. I've got a list of my fantasy cast.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: Charm School for the men of I Love New York

Super Skank Wednesday: Megan Hausermann Vs. Sister Patterson - VIDEO

Megan Hausermann is confused. Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

I was left rather disappointed with I Love Money this week. Another one of my "Fantasy I Love Money" picks went home leaving me with a whopping 140 points. And I was planning on writing a big tribute to Megan's demise but NO! She's still there.

I was so annoyed with ILM that I started watching New York Goes to Hollywood again. The show still reeks of artifice with New York going to a nail salon to study Japanese culture or thinking "break a leg" means that the person wants to do her physical harm. However, by the fourth episode, Sister Patterson has entered the scene and is saving the show with her outright rudeness and over-the-top behavior.

So I decided to pit the two women I love to hate against each other for a Vs. piece. This Super Skank Wednesday I give you: Megan Hausermann Vs. Sister Patterson, The Battle of the Hateful Shrews.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: Megan Hausermann Vs. Sister Patterson - VIDEO

Super Skank Wednesday: 12 Pack's Destruction, A Tale of Hubris

12 Pack gets eliminated by Toastee.Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

This Wednesday let's do another picture book fairy tale. I'm learning a lot from I Love Money. How about you? After the jump, I have a piece I call "12 Pack's Destruction, A Tale of Hubris." I'm not a betting woman, but I don't think anyone on ILM knows what the term "hubris" means.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: 12 Pack's Destruction, A Tale of Hubris

Super Skank Wednesday: The Demise of Rodeo

Rodeo and her bedazzled bandanaWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today we'll talk about Rodeo who got eliminated from I Love Money this past Sunday. The name. The guns. The bandanas she customized with a Bedazzler. The barbeque sauce.

I'm sad she got kicked off. She certainly could have used that money for some psychiatric evaluations. Let's talk about her demise after the jump. I'm doing another picture book.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: The Demise of Rodeo

Super Skank Wednesday: More life lessons from celebreality

New York Goes to HollywoodWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today I have some life lessons from celebreality. You readers know how grateful I am to VH1 for the many cautionary tales and moral exemplars it has provided me. I'll give you a few things I learned from I Love Money and New York Goes to Hollywood after the jump.

(And by the way, I think I Want To Work for Diddy might be the sleeper hit of the summer. I included some life lessons from that show, too.)

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: More life lessons from celebreality

Super Skank Wednesday: The insanity of The Entertainer & New York's new show

The EntertainerWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today I want to talk about how insane The Entertainer is and whether or not New York Goes to Hollywood will be worth watching.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: The insanity of The Entertainer & New York's new show

VH1 has a sneak peek of New York Goes to Hollywood - VIDEO

New York"You need a therapist, not an assistant." -- Prospective assistant to Tiffany "New York" Pollard

Truer words were never spoken. VH1 has posted a sneak peek of their new show New York Goes to Hollywood. The show, which premieres tonight at 10 PM, will follow VH1's reality queen on her journey to become a serious actress. In the series premiere New York hires an assistant, does a bootcamp workout, gets a clip reel together, and performs at a small theatre in front of high-powered managers.

By "high-powered," I mean managers who are friends with executive producers Cris Abrego and Mark Kronin. Or by "high-powered," I mean people VH1 hired to sit in the audience, watch New York perform, and pretend to be managers.

I think the best part is getting to see her read a monologue. She a maid who just wants to catch her 6:30 bus home and not go outside and pick up dog doodoo.

The video is after the jump.

Continue reading VH1 has a sneak peek of New York Goes to Hollywood - VIDEO

VH1's reality queen New York wants to do Lifetime movies

New York is going to HollywoodVH1 posted an interview they did with Tiffany "New York" Pollard a few days ago and, get this, she wants to do Lifetime original movies. God help us all. When asked whether she would rather pursue comedy or drama for her blossoming acting career, she said emphatically, "Drama!" New York wants to play some "cracked out mom" and loves Lifetime originals. She added that she hopes to be a part of one of their movies in the near future.

Continue reading VH1's reality queen New York wants to do Lifetime movies

Super Skank Wednesday: 12 Pack's master plan, a quaint children's tale

Mr. Boston whimpersWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After Sunday night's episode, I am reminded of the classic line from Steinbeck's novel, "The best laid plans of mice and men are often effed up by blondes with huge fake boobs and nasal voices." Or something like that. Or maybe it was from the Robert Burns' poem. But enough of this talk about low brow things like famous novels or poems. Let's get to I Love Money.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: 12 Pack's master plan, a quaint children's tale

Super Skank Wednesday: The Greatness of Mr. Boston

Mr. BostonWelcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today, we'll pay homage the star of I Love Money: Mr. Boston. Who knew this awkward guy from Bean Town would have hotties like Megan Hausermann saying "He's growing on me" and tough guys like White Boy wrapped around his finger.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: The Greatness of Mr. Boston

Super Skank Wednesday: Brooke Knows Best & I Love Money - VIDEOS

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump, I've got some of my favorite I Love Money moments from this weekend and my first impressions of Brooke Knows Best. And I have a special video.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: Brooke Knows Best & I Love Money - VIDEOS

Brooke Knows Best ... not Hulkster - VIDEO

Brooke Hogan frolicks on the beach.What do you do if you're dad is a wrestling icon, your mom is a cougar dating a man the same age as you, and your little brother is in jail for reckless driving? You get your own reality show, of course. And who's reality is more messed up than Brooke Hogan's right now? She's surprisingly the most normal of that bunch.

Her new show, Brooke Knows Best, premieres this Sunday July 13th at 10 p.m. ET / PT. That's right after I Love Money!

I've got a sneak peek at the first episode after the jump...

Continue reading Brooke Knows Best ... not Hulkster - VIDEO

Try to keep up ... Kim Kardashian is launching a perfume line

Kim making her smelly juice. Fans of skanktastic television will love this news. Kim Kardashian and her ass, both stars of E!'s Keeping Up with the Kardashians, are launching a line of perfume. She announced this news on her blog, which, by the way, is one of my favorite blogs. It's wonderfully delusional and self-congratulatory.

I'll indulge you in a sample, "It has always been a dream of mine to start my own perfume business, since I love to mix fragrances together and come up with new and different scents! I hope you understand my total excitement as I let you, the readers of my blog, become the first to know that I am creating my own fragrance!!!" I love the emboldened words and gratuitous use of exclamation points.

Continue reading Try to keep up ... Kim Kardashian is launching a perfume line

It's lights, camera, New York this summer - VIDEO

New York goes to tinsel town this summerVH1 diva Tiffany "New York" Pollard is back this summer for another chapter in her celebreality life. New York Goes to Hollywood premieres in August and will follow your favorite H.B.I.C. as she leaves Tailor-Made behind and tries to make it in Tinsel Town.

To rev up for the new show, VH1 put together a set of promos that have New York acting as classic Hollywood characters. She plays Dorothy from Wizard of Oz: "Toto, where the f*ck are we?" She plays Marilyn Monroe in that classic scene where the blonde starlet walks over the sidewalk grate. However, New York uses the breeze from the passing subway car to dry her nails and her nether regions. Whatever works, right? Finally, New York plays Forrest Gump and imparts some wisdom about life and chocolates.

The videos are after the jump. All three are stupid and unfunny. And all three prove the New York's new show is going to be a blast. Check it out and let me know what you think.

New York Goes to Hollywood premieres August 4th at 9 p.m. ET on VH1.

Continue reading It's lights, camera, New York this summer - VIDEO

Super Skank Wednesday: The I Love Money casting special

Hoopz is on I Love Money
Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

There's been a lull in trashtastic programming lately. I'm stuck watching So You Think You Can Dance (some of the those Latin ballroom costumes are a little slutty) and Secret Diary of a Call Girl (scripted skankiness). I long for VH1 to start their summer of skanktacity. We got a little taste last night with the I Love Money casting special. Check out my review after the jump.

Continue reading Super Skank Wednesday: The I Love Money casting special

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