Using a babysitter

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• How do I choose a babysitter?
  
  
• What questions should I ask a potential sitter?
  
  
• How much should I pay?
  
  
• How can I prepare my babysitter?
  
  
• How do I establish a good relationship with my sitter?
  
  

How do I choose a babysitter?

You need to find someone who has the right amount of maturity, but who can still have fun with the children. According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents and the NSPCC, no one under 16 should be left to care for an infant or young child. However, there's no current legislation in England, Scotland or Wales that gives a minimum age for babysitters, nor indeed what age children can be left at home alone.

Children mature at different ages, so you will have to decide whether you think a teenager has got the right skills. Ultimately, you are the best judge of an individual's capabilities and the sort of person that your children need.

Age isn't the only factor to consider. If you don't know a potential babysitter well, ask them to provide you with references, and then contact those people. Your babysitter should ideally have first aid skills, or be prepared to take a first aid course. The British Red Cross offers a number of different courses, some of which would be suitable for teenagers who babysit. If you use a babysitter regularly, paying for his or her first aid training could be a worthwhile investment for you.

Your babysitter should be someone you trust to handle any emergency, or who will at least know whom to call and what procedures to follow. Obviously, he or she should not smoke or drink or have friends over without asking you first.

What questions should I ask a potential sitter?

The first thing that you should ask a babysitter is whether he or she has references that you can see (and which you should follow up on). There are other questions you might want to ask:

• Do you have any previous experience in looking after young children?
• Do you have any first aid training which you could use in an emergency on young children?
• Would you be prepared to go on a first aid course?
• What do you like best about babysitting?
• What would you do if you were unsure about how to handle a situation?
• What sort of activities can you think of to keep the children occupied?

Remember, there's no such thing as an irrelevant question when it comes to your baby's safety and wellbeing.

How much should I pay?

Babysitting rates, usually hourly, depend on a lot of factors - from where you live, to how old the babysitter is, and how many children need to be looked after. Ask your neighbours and other parents how much they pay, and get an idea of the going rate that way. Your babysitter may also set her own rates, or her references could help you get a picture of what you should be offering.

Some babysitters charge a higher rate for working after midnight. You should also think about how a young babysitter will get home if it is late. Will you or your partner drive her home ? Will you pay for a taxi for her? This can add to the cost of your evening.

How can I prepare my babysitter?

The first time a babysitter works for you, ask her to arrive well before you go out. This will give her time to get to know you, your house and, of course, your child. You may also want to pay her to come over and play with your baby a few times while you're at home. Use the time to take care of household jobs, so you're in the background if you are needed. This is a particularly good approach if your sitter doesn't have much experience of caring for young children.

Make sure that you leave all the information you can, from emergency phone numbers (your neighbours, your doctor, the accident and emergency unit of your local hospital), to what's off-limits in the fridge. Let her know what time you want the children to be in bed. Tell her what your baby can and can't do and what her usual routine is. Leave the address and phone number of where you'll be, just in case she can't contact you on your mobile. Show her where everything that she will need is kept, including the first aid kit and your telephone.

How do I establish a good relationship with my sitter?

Treat your babysitter fairly. Don't ask her to do anything else but babysitting, unless you want to pay extra for it. Don't take advantage by leaving her in charge of a sick or upset child who is unlikely to settle. Her main task is to keep your baby safe and happy. On the other hand, she should tidy up so that she leaves your home as she found it.

Make sure that you treat your sitter as a mature person and listen to what is said to you. If he or she is old enough and mature enough to be left, unsupervised, with your children, then you must take seriously any comments about bad behaviour on their part.

If you are delayed and will return home later than the time you agreed with your babysitter, it is only courtesy to ring her, and be prepared to pay extra for her time. Finally, always remember to leave something to eat and drink for her, especially if it's going to be a long evening.

Reviewed October 2007.