Preparing you and your child for childcare

• Send to a friend
• Printable version

• Why do I need to prepare my child for my return to work?
  
  
• Be sure of your childcare
  
  
• Make back-up arrangements
  
  
• Build up time with your carer
  
  
• Send familiar objects with your child
  
  
• Communicate with colleagues
  
  
• Take familiar objects to work
  
  
• Stay patient
  
  

Why do I need to prepare my child for my return to work?

The theory of handing your baby over to somebody else - possibly a relative stranger - feels very different when you're dealing with the reality of the situation. After all, can anybody look after your baby as well as you? How will your baby cope without you? What if she cries all day? Will she forgive you? Will you forgive yourself?

All this looms large when you have a real baby in your arms, and it can come as a big shock that your rational feelings antenatally are transformed, by the power of love and instinctive protection, into raw, subjective emotion in the postnatal period.

While it can be a difficult time for these reasons, there are ways that you can minimise the disruptive effect of returning to work and make the transition as smooth as possible. The solution lies in preparing the way for both of you.

Be sure of your childcare

Returning to work is bound to be difficult and painful if you're not convinced that your child is in the best place. It is vital to allow yourself enough time to find the most reliable and professional childcare. Satisfy yourself that you have found the right setting for your child. See also When to start your childcare search and Finding a carer you can trust.

Make back-up arrangements

It helps to have contingency plans in place for that inevitable time when either your baby or your carer is ill. If you are employed, then emergency help (Time off for Dependants) is available for those times when you have to look after someone you're responsible for. This could include your husband, wife, partner, child or parent. Find out more from Directgov, the UK Government's website.

Build up time with your carer

Your child, like all of us, will respond best if he is introduced slowly to the changes in his life. Make allowances for this in your return-to-work timetable, so that he is prepared gently for his new arrangements. In this way he should feel more secure, and therefore happier.

In order to ease the transition, stay with your child for the first couple of sessions with a new carer. Most nurseries and childminders will encourage this, as they know it will ease the settling-in process. After your child has started to grow accustomed to his new surroundings, leave for a short time, once he is engrossed in something. Then you can extend the periods that you are apart.

If it is possible, arrange to go back to your job on part-time hours for the first week. This will help your child, but will also help you as this will be a tiring time for you.

In this way, not only your child, but you, too, will benefit from a gradual re-introduction to work.

Send familiar objects with your child

So-called "transitional objects" mean security and familiarity to your child. They include teddy bears, dolls, a blanket or piece of material - in fact anything that your child knows and links with home. Pack some of these in a changing bag, and your child will recognise them and feel more secure because of them.

Communicate with colleagues

Your office will be keen to have you back. Reassure them that while you are raring to get your feet back under the desk, you want to make a gradual start, so that you have a chance to test your new arrangements.

Take familiar objects to work

As if you needed telling, it won't just be your baby who may be feeling a little lost - so bring your favourite photo to put on your desk. Don't forget to pack some tissues and replacement make-up - your baby will probably be playing happily as you leave, but you may shed a few tears yourself. Is there someone at work who might know how you're feeling? Have a chat with them - it will help.

Stay patient

Your child may behave impeccably while being cared for, then take it out on you at the end of the day. Be patient. It will pass, but remember that we all take things out on the ones we love the best.

Reviewed October 2007.