ASYLUM - For all mankind

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To make you smile. (I-Am-Bored)

Virtual News in Chinese (Adult Swim)

25 Amazing Jell-O Shots (Chicago Now)

Awesome Crayon Sculptures (Uncoached)
4 Little-Known Cults
That lived under the radar. (Mental Floss)
Best Porta-Potty Prank?
Ever? (Burbia)
Top 10 Bad-Movie Babes
Sexed-up schlock. (AskMen)

When we heard that White Castle was running a Valentine's Day special complete with table service and candlelight, it sounded pretty good to us. But while we weren't brave enough to run the idea by the woman in our life, we were curious about just who these people were who chose to spend the day of love in a deliciously greasy burger joint.

So we showed up at a Noblesville, Ind., White Castle to find out just that. There was an actual line of people waiting to be seated, in addition to the 25 reservations.

Charity Duke had been threatening to make V-Day reservations for her and her husband Paul at White Castle for years.

The couple of 13 years (pictured) split the Sweetheart Special, which consists of 10 hamburgers, two fries and two small drinks for $11.14, plus free cookies with lurid pink icing.

General Manager Peggy Petty, who has worked at almost every White Castle in the Indianapolis area in her 19 years with the company, said business just about doubles on Valentine's Day. Keep reading to see more couples enjoying love with a side of fries.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

45 percent of men report bad experiences with ill-fitting rubbers.

Researchers from the Kinsey Institute surveyed 436 men who had used a condom while engaging in vaginal sex sometime in the last three months. Almost half complained of rubbers that didn't fit; those respondents were also more than twice as likely to report breakage, slippage and an overall lack of pleasure. In addition, they suffered five times the rate of penis irritation as those who reported that their condoms always fit snugly.

To encourage men to use proper-size condoms, the researchers suggest prophylactic makers label their smallest size as "large," their medium size as "extra-large," and so on. That way, most of you don't have to be embarrassed to buy them.

We doubt this strategy will work, but if they stick with it long enough the English language will be graced with fantastic new words like "gigantinormous" -- which will be condom code for "totally average and unremarkable."

Fun fact: At the end of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," there is a recording of a dog whistle, which presumably was a practical joke perpetrated by the Beatles to drive listeners' pooches crazy.

To sooth the savage beasts in your home, Pet Acoustics offers My Pet Speaker, which, it claims, transforms the music in your library into sounds that will feel soothing to your animal. (For dogs, we imagine it conjures the sound of food being poured into a dish; for cats, it likely can portray sonically the misery of others.)

But really what it does is eliminate ultra-high and -low frequencies, which disturb animals. We're listening to the new Them Crooked Vultures album right now with our regular speakers. (Incidentally, the dog is sleeping through it.)

Pet's awesome bundle of radness is available to be shipped in March and can be yours for $250 -- because Fido and Tabby deserve hi-fi as much as any other snobby music purist.

Mascots rock our world. When they're not involved in a baffling race, they're punching each other's lights out.

But just when we thought we'd seen it all from the costumed clowns, the Toronto Raptors allowed their crimson mascot to eat one of their cheerleaders.

During halftime at a recent game against the New Jersey Nets, the Raptors' entertainer reared its head back and completely engulfed the woman, before walking off the court.

"That's really a tough night right there," an announcer hollered. Click through to watch the video.

You may have noticed a lot of guys walking down the street with bouquets of roses this weekend and thought to yourself, Wow, there must be a lot of repentant philanderers this time of year. Actually it was Valentine's Day. Luckily, there's a holiday you may be more interested in called Steak and BJ Day, and Asylum's token girl is here to tell you all about it.

No, us redheads are not universally feisty and fiery; we're just pissed off from a lifetime of cheap, stereotype-laden come-ons that our brunette-tressed brethren never have to bother hearing.

(Yes, blondes have their unfair share of dumbbell jokes and pick-up lines to contend with as well, but everybody knows that everything they say about blondes is true.)

Do yourself a favor and ix-nay the following from your redhead repertoire:

10. "Do your drapes match the carpet?" Thank you for annihilating any naughty thoughts I may have had about showing you my interior decorating.

9. "Carrot-top." If you are the first, second or third adult ever to say this to a 6-year-old redhead, congratulations -- a first-grader finds you clever! Otherwise, you just appear to possess all the mental maturity of a first-grader, and I expect you'll shortly be peeing your pants in public.

8. "You know what they say about redheads ..." No, what do they say? No, really, what? You're not going to tell me? I really wanna know, what do they say, tell me what they say about redheads ... Ohhhh, is this one of those reverse-psychology things where I'm supposed to giggle aloud about what a bad girl I am? You wanna know what else is reverse psychology? Your thinking this is gonna work.

7. "Are you a natural redhead?" Yes, are you a natural retard?

6. "Firecrotch." This is actually more offensive for its Lindsay Lohan connotation than for anything doing with my flammable ladyparts.

Sure, two of the most badass actors of recent American cinema -- Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson -- opted to shave their heads before they went bald naturally.

But there are still plenty of successful men out there who resist the pressure to mask their hair loss, and the best among them are proudly rocking power alleys.

What the heck are power alleys, you ask? Just check out Jackson and Willis's matching hairlines in "Die Hard With a Vengeance" (pictured at left). In 1995, they could have been the power-alley poster boys.

"Power alley is an accurate term for that type of balding," says Dr. Robert M. Bernstein, a clinical professor of dermatology at Columbia University and world-renowned hair-transplant surgeon. "It's Norwood Class III balding, which is the most common type."

A more familiar term -- widow's peak -- is not the same thing.

Willis and Jackson both opted to shave their heads sometime in the past decade, but their respective losses of hair likely began much earlier. "People with bald parents are the most susceptible to hair loss," says Dr. Bernstein. "And it can happen at any age. I've seen patients in their late teens begin to lose their hair."

Even though we have a healthy head of hair, Asylum pays homage below to the many successful men -- from athletes to video-game characters -- who have proudly sported the power-alley look.

Over the weekend, director Kevin Smith loudly tweeted about his removal from a Southwest Airlines flight due to his weight, leaving the Internet asking the question: Is Kevin Smith too fat to fly?

According to spokespeople at American Airlines, Delta and Southwest Airlines there is no maximum weight limit per passenger, but they will ask a passenger of size to purchase an additional seat if they do not fit into a single seat.

Of course, airplanes do have weight limits. On a full take of jet fuel, the average 747 can hold 140,247 lbs. of people and their stuff. Since the average jumbo jet carries 448 passengers, that leaves only 313 lbs. per passenger and his luggage. However, unless Smith's entire plane was rented out by the Sumo Wrestling Association, actual poundage probably wasn't the issue.

In one of his heated tweets @SouthwestAir, Smith contended, "I'm way fat ... But I'm not THERE just yet."

Agree? Keep reading to see the opinions of some of the legions of people currently tweeting @ the portly director.

Last night, we were a little underwhelmed watching Bode Miller settle for a bronze in the downhill. We even considered leaving NBC's Winter Olympics broadcast to tune into the Westminster Dog Show. (The hound category is particularly strong this year.)

Our desire to stray subsided quickly when the spectacle that is snowboardcross took center stage. If you haven't seen this mad race of moguls, maneuvering and mayhem, we highly recommend taking a look. We also recommend the International Olympic Committee consider a downhill event where four skiers all race down a mountain simultaneously ...