Feb 16th 2010 By Rose Martelli
![](https://web.archive.org/web/20100217043552im_/http://www.blogcdn.com/www.asylum.com/media/2010/02/rose-martelli-redhead-186.jpg)
No, us redheads are not universally feisty and fiery; we're just pissed off from a lifetime of cheap, stereotype-laden come-ons that our brunette-tressed brethren never have to bother hearing.
(Yes, blondes have their unfair share of dumbbell jokes and pick-up lines to contend with as well, but everybody knows that everything they say about blondes is true.)
Do yourself a favor and ix-nay the following from your redhead repertoire:
10. "Do your drapes match the carpet?" Thank you for annihilating any naughty thoughts I may have had about showing you my interior decorating.
9. "Carrot-top." If you are the first, second or third adult ever to say this to a 6-year-old redhead, congratulations -- a first-grader finds you clever! Otherwise, you just appear to possess all the mental maturity of a first-grader, and I expect you'll shortly be peeing your pants in public.
8. "You know what they say about redheads ..." No, what do they say? No, really, what? You're not going to tell me? I really wanna know, what do they say, tell me what they say about redheads ... Ohhhh, is this one of those reverse-psychology things where I'm supposed to giggle aloud about what a bad girl I am? You wanna know what else is reverse psychology? Your thinking this is gonna work.
7. "Are you a natural redhead?" Yes, are you a natural retard?
6. "Firecrotch." This is actually more offensive for its Lindsay Lohan connotation than for anything doing with my flammable ladyparts.