'American Idol' - 'Hollywood Round 2' Recap
It's the end of Hollywood week, which means group performances! This is always a crazy point in the season, because it seems more like the Wild West than any other point of the show. People are singing songs they barely know, rehearsing until 4 in the morning, choreographing dance moves -- it's like 'Fame' the movie in miniature and on repeat. It's always interesting to see who cracks and who makes it through.
We start out with a mess of people finding groups and choosing songs. Is this how it always is? I seem to remember people being assigned groups, but maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. During rehearsals, there seems to be a lot of Lady Gaga, which automatically makes this a lot more interesting than years past. However, while this group day may be more interesting, it is not necessarily better, as poor song choices and nerves end up taking a lot of people down.
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'American Idol' - 'Hollywood Round One' Recap
(S09E10) ELLEN! I've been waiting for this. I've been a huge Ellen DeGeneres fan for years, so I was psyched to hear she was going to be a judge this year. A lot of people are worried that she'll rely too heavily on the comedy, so tonight is a big night; we finally get to see how she does.
It's also a big night because it's the beginning of Hollywood week. I always feel terrible for the people who get sent home, but I'm trying to remember this: at least they got a sweet free trip to Hollywood. That's something, right? All in all, it's a pretty good group of people, but there are several who just completely biff their auditions. How does that happen? It's a mystery for the ages. Let's ponder it together, shall we?
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Review: 'American Idol' - 'Road To Hollywood'
However, Beckham is only back for a little while, as this is a montage of auditions from all of the stops that we haven't seen yet. It's kind of weird how it's set up, because even though we haven't seen these people before, this still seems like a strange kind of clip show. In any case, it wraps up the audition process, in which 181 golden tickets were handed out, and gets us ready for the real show to start next week, when Ellen DeGeneres permanently joins the cast, which is what I've been waiting for.
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Reviewcap: American Idol - Dallas Auditions
(S09E06) So last night, Avril Lavigne made me want to kill myself, and Katy Perry was surprisingly tolerable. I'm thinking things are going to be better tonight, as we have Neil Patrick Harris who is great, and Joe Jonas, who is a Jonas Brother, and as such is supposed to be cute and sweet, right? That's their thing? Anyway, we're in Dallas, home of Kelly Clarkson, so the big question is, does the city have the next Kelly on its hands?
I don't know about that, but I do know that NPH is my new idol. He asserts himself, and is tough while remaining charming. In fact, it seems as though he even takes the lead and goes over Simon's head a little bit: I like that.
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Reviewcap: American Idol - Los Angeles Auditions
(S09E05) 11,000 people showed up for the Los Angeles auditions, which actually seems like kind of a low number to me. Maybe they heard the guest judge was going to be Avril Lavigne and said, "eh, maybe I'll skip this one. There's always season 10!" Okay, that's not nice. I'm sure Lavigne is a perfectly lovely lady. But who really cares? All that matters is whether or not she's a good judge.
...Except for the fact that she's a 25-year-old divorced woman who is wearing a hoodie with devil horns sewn into it. Not only that, but she insists on wearing the hood with devil horns sewn into it up on her head, while inside a building, so she can show off said devil horns, while she is evaluating people who are singing their hearts out to her. Because, God forbid she let anyone's hopes and dreams, or you know, professionalism, take precedence over her pseudo-punk lifestyle. Dear Avril, you are no longer 15; please dress and act accordingly. *Deep breath* Okay, that's better. Now on with the show.
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Reviewcap: American Idol - Orlando Auditions
(S09E04) Sweet! Kristin Chenoweth is the guest judge, which means that this episode is going to be awesome. Okay, perhaps that's overstating it a bit -- it is the audition rounds after all, but it's surely going to be just a bit sunnier. I'm really looking forward to this one, especially since Chicago had such a disappointing turnout (I mean, really... 13 Golden Tickets out of 12,000? Seriously?).
Orlando doesn't disappoint, and actually ends up getting 31 people to Hollywood. However, Kristin is only there, for the first day, so I feel a little ripped off. If I have to deal with Avril Lavigne at some point, shouldn't I get at least two days of Kristin Chenoweth? Come on!
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Reviewcap: American Idol - Auditions #3: Chicago
(S03E09) We begin the show with Frank Sinatra's, "Chicago," which puts me in a good mood, but it's ruined by a bunch of never-weres sharing their heavily-bleeped opinions of American Idol and the judges. However, I am quickly buoyed by the woman waiting in line who says confidently to the camera, "I believe I have what it takes to become America's Next Top Model." God Bless you, ma'am. Thank you for being real and saying what no one else will: sometimes it's just about being on TV.
You would think that since it's the 3rd time Idol has held auditions in Chicago, that we would end up with a great group of talent, but you would be wrong. They may have used up most of the good ones the first two times, because Chicago doesn't actually turn out too many golden tickets.
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Reviewcap: American Idol - Auditions #1: Boston
Alright, everyone! It seems like just moments ago that Kris Allen was crowned the new American Idol, but now he and runner-up Adam Lambert are old news. It's time to find the next superstar. This is going to be a big season: It's the first one without Paula, the first one with Ellen, and the last one with Simon. So let's just sit back, relax, and enjoy some auditions!
We start out with a look back at last season, and I'm sure Kara DioGuardi loves the fact that they're opening up with her ripping her dress off onstage with The Bikini Girl. Ryan talks about Paula leaving and shows a clip of Ellen announcing that she'll be the new judge. She looks so cute and excited! I can't wait for her to get on the live episodes. For now, however, we have guest judge Victoria Beckham. Am I the only one who forgets that she talks? I'm just so used to her posing, hearing her voice freaks me out.
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Lindsay Lohan may be out, but Ryan Seacrest's Chance goes on
Instead, the "reality game show" Chance is said to be "America's Got Talent meets Shark Tank." Rather than come to rich people with million-dollar ideas, these contestants approach the wealthy with their hopes and dreams. If they win them over, they get their dream financially backed. It could be an invention or a business, but it could just as easily be a drive to save the chipmunks. You know what, I'm still not really clear what they're looking for, but maybe that's the point.
I think I'm going to go compete on the show with my dream of independent wealth. I'll just explain to them that it's always been my dream to be independently wealthy. Think how happy I could be if I never had to do anything ever again for as long as I lived. Think they'll go for it?
Seacrest changes representation to CAA
Among well-known stars, agency switching happens all the time. It is a telling sign that WMA wasn't even involved with his contract renegotiations with the American Idol producers and Seacrest still came out ahead on that one.
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Ryan Seacrest In ... the money; signs big multiyear contract
As if he didn't make a lot of people sick already, Ryan Seacrest's three year $45 million dollar American Idol contract may just do it. That sets him up to be the highest-paid reality show host and leaves the producers ready to try and wrangle the judges back. Personally, I think he's worth it (at least in the sense that anyone in Hollywood is worth the millions they make; it's all relative).
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Why Cat Deeley is better than Ryan Seacrest
So You Think You Can Dance rolls around and we're greeted by the wonderful Cat Deeley. I have to admit that she's light years ahead of Ryan Seacrest. She may not be as witty as Tom Bergeron, but she brings a flair to her hosting duties.
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Stop Ryan Seacrest for Lindsay Lohan's sake
Somebody has to stop Ryan Seacrest. Please. I mean it. He's going too far. Seacrest tweeted that he is talking with Lindsay Lohan about her own reality show. Presumably it'll be in the vein of Ryan's other reality star vehicles, Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Denise Richards: It's Complicated. Notice that I didn't say it would have the same quality as those other shows because if you've ever watched more than an episode, you know that quality is not a requirement. Manipulation, mugging and broad fake emotions are all that's necessary.
So, Lindsay Lohan, heed my warning: stop talking to Ryan Seacrest. No good will come of it.
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American Idol: We have a winner!
At long last, the season 8 finale of American Idol has arrived! It's been fun watching all of the Idols grow in their musical prowess (that's a Paula word), especially Adam Lambert and Kris Allen, the final two performers who couldn't be more different, but are both awesome in their own way.
Ryan started things off by introducing the judges, along with a funny video clip for each of them -- Randy Jackson saying "For Me" throughout the season; Kara DioGuardi saying "sweetie" and "honey" to people who didn't make it past the audition process; Paula's round-up of colorful adjectives (vocal prowess, masterful and effortless, palette, etc.); and Simon's issues with hearing what people say (as in, he could probably use a hearing aid!).
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American Idol: Finale part 1 - Adam and Kris perform
"Two are left standing, but only one can take it all." Seacrest breaks it down for us this evening, just in case there was anyone who didn't know what was going on. Each contestant is performing three songs tonight: a song that they've already performed on the show, one chosen by Idol producer Simon Fuller, and the winner's single, co-written by judge Kara DioGuardi.
And what a winner's single it is. Hoo boy. I had no idea a song could be that awful. It truly plumbs the depths and nearly ruins the entire night. Luckily, the guys have two previous performances that hopefully people will remember instead of the final one. Because, wow. Just, wow.
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