ASYLUM - For all mankind

The 20 Most Boobtastic Athletes of All Time
Check out the bustiest babes in the sports world (Bleacher Report)

The World's Worst Drivers, in Pictures (Chicago Now)

Man Finishes Drink During Sobriety Test (Regretful Morning)

Is Kristen Stewart Sexier Than Adriana Lima? (StyleCaster)
Waitress Gets Owned During Soccer Game
We can't express how much that must have hurt (Total Pro Sports)
Gallery: Elaine Alden
Is she the face of Florida? (Holy Taco)
Social Networking's Evil Twin
How exposed are you on the Web? (AskMen)

Required reading from the week in books and comics.

"The Men Who Would Be King" chronicles the clashing egos that went into the creation of DreamWorks, the home that "Shrek" keeps upright. When Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and David Geffen got together to form a movie company, the moguls were bound to clash. Entertainment writer Nicole LaPorte's book is full of gossip -- Russell Crowe was reportedly a nightmare on "Gladiator" -- yet is an interesting portrait of a Hollywood titan.

Also in stores:
-- Neil Gaiman ("The Graveyard Book") re-teams with "Stardust" artist Charles Vess for "Instructions," a guidebook to a fantastical land.
-- "Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam" collects the first six issues of the hit series, which is that rare comic-for-kids that isn't mind-numbingly insulting to anyone with half a brain cell.
-- "Dead in the Family: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel" is the latest book in the southern-fried vampire franchise that inspired "True Blood." Just picture the narration being spoken in a thick Louisiana accent by a topless Anna Paquin and you pretty much have the TV show.

Pink Visual, fleeting recipient of a Newt Gingrich "Entrepreneur of the Year" award, is back in the news again. On the heels of the Securities and Exchange Commission's porn-surfing scandal, the adult entertainment company has issued a plea to the agency to "Stop Wasting Our Tax Dollars -- Surf After Work."

Rather than simply curse the darkness, though, Pink lights a candle (and puts on some Al Green) by offering a way for government workers to get their porn fix, while keeping both hands free in the workplace. They'll have a chance to surf free Pink porn for a two-week trial period, as long as they do it before or after work. We contacted Pink to get the ins and outs of their special offer.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

Being in the presence of an attractive woman sends a man's stress levels to dangerous heights.

Researchers at Spain's University of Valencia paid 84 male college students about $20 to participate in an experiment, which they were told would involve solving sudoku puzzles. That, however, was cover to have the guy spend five minutes alone in a room with a pretty woman, who presumably was also there to do sudokus.

The subjects' levels of cortisol, a hormone released in response to stress, was tested before and after the interaction. The researchers conclude that, when in the presence of a desirable female, the average male's production of cortisol shoots up by roughly the same amount as it would if he were in the process of jumping from an airplane.

Short, extreme bursts of cortisol can be bad for the heart. Chronic exposure can lead to adult diabetes and impotency.

So even if you overcome your trepidation and get the hottie, things aren't looking good for you.

Arizona's new immigration law has been dubbed the "Papers Please Act" by critics who claim it essentially legalizes racial profiling. The bill's proponents, however, say that people just naturally know what an illegal alien looks like, and race has nothing to do with it. This is the most Arizona has been in the national news since it refused to adopt Martin Luther King Day as a holiday, causing it to lose its shot at hosting the Super Bowl in 1988.

Asylum's resident genius, Ryan McKee, is originally from Arizona. He hates people who believe his home state is racist. In fact, he proves its new law is not about race through his patented technique: "The Five S's for Spotting a Foreigner" ...



Follow Ryan's trend reports on Facebook.

We've avoided bringing up business card issues in the past, partly because we're disorganized but mostly because we find it ridiculous to paper the world with our contact information when we can just send an email with our phone.

We finally found a reasonable compromise: Designer Fabio Milito came up with this awesome business card for a hair salon in Rome. It's made to be a comb, but you can run your finger against the bristles, and it plays a tune: specifically, "Satisfaction" by the Stones.

We're not sure which will put the hair salon out of business first: Replacing what must be very expensive business cards or making everyone look (and sound) like Keith Richards.

Lesbians are great for hanging out with, talking to about sports and beating you in arm wresting. Unfortunately, the porn industry has also done a pretty good job of convincing you lesbians also want to have sex with you.

Luckily, this real, flesh-and-blood lesbian to set you straight (heh). Without further ado, here are a few lines that are almost certain to get you ousted from lesbian ladies night at your local pool hall.

10. "You just haven't met the right guy yet." No, but I certainly seem to be talking to the wrong one right now. Maybe you haven't met the right guy.

9. "Wanna have a threesome?" No, but I'll take your girl home and teach her a thing or two about what she's been missing.

8. "Lesbians can't have sex." Oh yeah? You just keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better

7. "So who's the man in your relationship?" Maybe you didn't notice but there is no man in this relationship because we're both girls. That's sorta the point of being gay.

6. "You don't look gay." What is that supposed to mean? Just because I'm not wearing a bandanna and baggy jeans and riding in a pickup truck doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you. Go away.

Things really must be looking up -- first the Nightclub for Dogs (sadly not starring Don Cheadle) and now a $12 cup of coffee from Cafe Grumpy in Manhattan stand as proof that any second now the unemployment rate is going to drop to two percent. Fingers crossed.

The Chelsea location of Cafe Grumpy is now brewing up Nekisse beans from Ethiopia. These precious beans never even touch the ground -- once they are harvested they are placed on raised drying beds and dried naturally. The result is an incredibly nuanced (and expensive) cuppa joe which is brewed using Grumpy's $11,000 Clover brewing system. It might not have been rescued from the feces of a weird Asian cat, but it's still some pretty fancy stuff.

The coffee comes with a very strong recommendation of being enjoyed black; after all, you wouldn't order a single malt and glug a bunch of soda in it. Or be one of those people from New Jersey who orders Grey Goose screwdrivers. If you order a $12 cup of coffee, you better keep it classy.

Last week, Asylum's resident genius Ryan McKee gave the man's perspective on "A Woman's Perspective." His conclusion: women are basically chimpanzees. Of course, Asylum's token girl isn't going to let him get away with that, as she gives a woman's perspective on "A Man's Perspective."


Want Emily's advice delivered weekly? Subscribe to "A Woman's Perspective" on iTunes or become a fan on Facebook.

So, what is this always calm-and-collected king of cool doing talking to us?

Quite possibly exploring the intersection of his prowess with a blow torch and our immature penchant for culinary pyromania (and, no, we don't mean setting your air biscuits aflame). Here are his tips for handling a concentrated source of heat and also creating instant gratification (i.e., wowing your S.O.).