ASYLUM - For all mankind

Beer: Who Will Be Crowned America's Next Top Beer?

Sex: What Your Dreams Say About Your Love Life

Video Games: The New Big-Boobed Gaming Experience

Weird: Mini Weaponry for Mini Warfare

Video: World's Strongest Beer Gets Scientific Testing

StreetLevel: The New and Sexified Disney Characters

ComicsAlliance: Superpower Periodic Table

Personalized Plate Fail
They know where they like to park (Fail Blog)

10 Sporting Wives that Definitely Trust Their Husbands (Bleacher Report)

Worst Wrestling Entrance Ever (Total Pro Sports)

Flash Game: Enough Plumbers (Fork Party)
Marloes Horst + Lingerie =
Awwww yeah (Guyism)
12 of Our Favorite Comedies
Of all time (Chicago Now)
Bike Thief Gets Destroyed
I think he gets the message (College Humor)

Required viewing from the week in movies.

There is one way -- and one way only -- that we like Michael Douglas: straight-up sleazy. Whether as "Wall Street"'s back-stabbing Gordon Gekko or the sex-crazed cads from "Basic Instinct" and "Fatal Attraction," Douglas is at his best when he's playing jerks with loose morals. "A Solitary Man" is a return to form for Douglas, who plays a washed-up divorced dad still scamming on young ladies despite his graying temples. Jenna Fischer, Susan Sarandon and Danny Devito round out the eclectic cast. Devito and Douglas together again? The '80s really are back!

Also in theaters:
-- Should the fact that "MacGruber" is the best "Saturday Night Live" movie since "Wayne's World" really be a selling point? Even listening to Will Forte's drag character from "30 Rock" sing "If I Could Turn Back Time" for 90 minutes would be preferable to sitting through "It's Pat" or "The Ladies Man." If "MacGruber" is a hit, can we look forward to more Will Forte characters on the big screen? We would watch the hell out of a "Falconer" movie.
-- "Shrek Forever After" really seems more like a threat than a title. There is no way we've seen the end of this godawful franchise. At the very least, The Gingerbread Man is getting a spin-off.
-- "Holy Rollers" tells the true-life tale of some Hasidic Jews who moonlighted as ecstasy smugglers during the late '90s. Get it? Cause they are holy and they're "rolling" on E? Ah, forget it.

In Asylum's eternal quest to bring our readers the straight dope, we connected with legal expert and funny guy Tom O'Keefe to answer your burning legal questions. If you have a question for him, drop it in the comments.

Q: After a long night of drinking, a buddy and I spotted a plastic baggie containing what looked to be drugs on the street corner. I thought we should throw them out in the garbage to prevent any kids from getting their hands on them, but my buddy said we should just leave them or we could get pinched. I was too drunk to argue, so we left them. Was he right?

A: While your intention to remove the drugs from the pathway of wayward children was noble, your buddy was not entirely wrong. He should, however, be summarily chastised for using the term "pinched," unless he is in the Mafia.

Here's the problem with your "throw the drugs out" idea: In order to do so you would have to pick the drugs up, unless you've mastered telekinesis. Once you place your helpful little hands on that bag you have asserted sufficient control to place them in your "possession" under the law.

That's right, drug possession.

Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

A majority of married women would rather be doing something else than having sex with their husbands.

A survey of 2,000 married women between the ages of 18 and 49 by iVillage found that 41 percent prefer sleep to sex, 21 percent would rather be watching a movie and 16 percent would chose a good book over their marital obligations.

Despite this, 77 percent of married woman answered that they are at least "somewhat happy" with their sex lives; 65 percent said their husband provided them with the best sex they've ever had.

An optimistic way to interpret these statistics is that married women really do enjoy sex with their spouse, but would just like their husbands to figure out ways to incorporate activities, such as book reading, into their love-making.

We know that our teeth are starting to look more ebony than ivory, but we've resisted our dentist's plea to whiten them. Too expensive -- plus, trips to his office are scary.

Luckily, there's another option: the home whitening kit. The Forever White Teeth Whitening Headset and Kit from Beaming White claims to be the quickest method of shining our chompers (aside from gargling bleach, which we don't recommend).

Beaming White includes a peroxide gel plus that cool LED headset that activates the gel to speed up the whitening process.

We aren't sure how much this thing retails for, but you cannot put a price on having an awesome blue, glowing maw.

Here's this week's most outrageous relationship red flag story from the editors of The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags.

The Story: "I'd been seeing a girl for six months. Her apartment lease ran out and she couldn't find a place right away, so I said she could stay with me until she got a new apartment.

I came back from work one day to find that she had thrown out all pictures of my best female friend. When I asked her why she'd done that, she said she couldn't stand her "beady eyes" staring at her.

I'm not sure if she was jealous or just psychotic. The latter was proved several times later in the relationship, which died out shortly thereafter."

Got a red flag story? Submit it by visiting The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags or emailing bigredflags@gmail.com.

This week Masterclash returns with a second round of discussion about Bad TV. This segment looks to set forth a canon of Bad TV heavyweights, from Dustin Diamond to Antonio Sabato Jr. Once again, comedian, actor and pop culture commentator Baron Vaughn will be weighing in, as well as the curator of the Found Footage Festival, Nick Prueher.


Check back for Part 3 next Friday at 3:30 p.m., and click here to subscribe to the Masterclash on iTunes.

Therapy has many forms, and for the recently divorced Kevin Cotter, it is finding 101 different uses for his ex-wife's wedding dress. Some of them are practical, others just ridiculous, but they're certainly all different.

Cotter tells Asylum that his wife of 12 years left him at the end of last year -- taking everything but her wedding dress when she moved out of their home.

"I just think that she lost that loving feeling," he says. "We grew apart, but I really don't know why or how it happened. I'm not angry at her and I don't resent her. This isn't easy for either of us."

A few months after the split, Cotter began photographing the dress in various states of incorrect usage and launched the blog My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress. He asked readers to make suggestions, and now the list has grown to 50 creative uses for the dress.