I need to spice up my phone-sex life! My husband and I have been together since 2003, but since that time he’s been deployed by the military 6 times (he’s currently gone). Phone sex now bores me beyond belief. I feel horrible that when my husband calls from Afghanistan I just want to talk and [...]
I am 52 years old and have only experienced an orgasm a few times in my life – never with a partner. My boyfriend suggested I turn to you guys for help. I would like to try a vibrator or something so that he and I could have some kind of success. I don’t know [...]
After hearing for a while about sex surrogacy, I’ve been doing some searching online and found you. I’m a gay man who is afraid and ashamed of sex and doesn’t know what he is doing. I understand that sex surrogacy is best when it’s done as part of consultation with a sex therapist. I’m contacting [...]
Can your clitoris get desensitized due to too much vibrator use? – Buzzlover Let’s put it this way: If you press a buzzing vibrator against your clitoris for a period of time (your mileage may vary), it will make your clit feel numb in essentially the way your hand will go numb if you lean [...]
I am 42 years old, female and now at the very end of a friendship that is still trying to work: my friend (male and 57 years old) very actively loves sex and I have not real interest in this so much… I don’ t know why, maybe I am that way, not wanting, needing so much? [...]
As a woman, how do I know I’ve orgasmed? –Waiting for Skyrockets This is a more common question than you think, and not just asked by clueless young boyfriends. No insult meant, there — in this culture, generally, we only get a clue about such things through experience, and it’s valuable to remember that no [...]
I’m a 25-year-old guy in San Francisco. Two months ago, I started a blog about my sexual development. I want to find a way to masturbate with women, but without them actually being women I’m dating at the time. Are there ways to fulfill this desire outside of a relationship? –Shamey You’re looking for sexually [...]
How “appropriate” are fantasies about somebody who isn’t your current serious partner? –Roving Eye Fantasies are completely integral to many people’s sexual arousal and enjoyment; attempting to quash them, as some try to do when worried about their content, can actually impair sexual functioning. Sometimes fantasies are a window into our desires, while other times [...]
My husband has a lack of sensitivity in the penis. I don’t know if it is from bicycle-riding or something else. He is not circumcised. He has a lot of foreskin. I have become disappointed in our sex life because he can only achieve orgasm by vigorous masturbation. He seems to enjoy intercourse and oral sex but does [...]
I can only have orgasms in missionary position. Although they are very intense I would like to be able to reach an orgasm while experimenting with other positions with my boyfriend. Would a vibrating cockring help? — Missionary Girl While many women haven’t had an orgasm during intercourse at all, it’s pretty common for those [...]
Note: Staff Sexologist Dr. Carol Queen presented a talk, toy show and tell, and Q and A session on female sexual issues for Stanford’s Counseling Center this spring, a follow-up to a similar session on male sexuality during winter term. She was joined at both by Dr. Bryna Barsky-Ex, a clinical psychologist who provides sex [...]
If you missed the first part of the Sex Positivity Round Robin, check it out here. One of the most important moments I ever had as a public speaker happened in the Twin Cities. I had journeyed there to keynote the fabulous BECAUSE conference (Bisexual Empowerment Conference: A Uniting Supportive Experience), which brings bi people [...]
This interview with Carol was published as part of a larger article by Kaye Cloutman, “Discovering Mommy’s ‘Other’ Little Helper,” in the SAN FRANCISCO | SACRAMENTO BOOK REVIEWs. It appears here with Kaye’s kind permission. Full article, about her visit to a Good Vibrations’ “Mommys’ Playdate,” here. Kaye writes a weekly column called Book it! [...]
I have been masturbating and have not been able to have an orgasm so I think I have what is called clitoral engorgement. I am sore and sensitive. I have never been able to have an orgasm with my hand but my vibrator broke. It was the Hitachi wand. I have ordered two vibrators which [...]
I’ve been full of lookbacks and flashbacks lately because of Good Vibrations’ 33rd birthday. I first started visiting good Vibes in the early 1980s, on trips to San Francisco, and I’ve been working in the company for very close to 20 years. One of the things I did in March, our birthday month, was list [...]
I am disabled, in a wheelchair, from sequelae of polio. I think my pelvic floor is not affected but I am 68 years old and I think things are just floppy down there, as are other parts. I pee a little when laughing, sneezing, transferring from chair to bed/toilet/etc. Years ago, there was a kind [...]
So went the saying on a popular lapel button back when I was a babydyke.* (There was another variant saying “Throw me in chocolate…” — I actually think that would be my choice. Mmmm, phenethylamine!) And while this vision of lickability is not what the Olivia cruise is designed to be all about (for that, [...]
I want to stretch my labia. Does Good Vibrations have any tools or how-to books on doing it? Or do you have any advice for me? Thank you! I’m aware of three techniques that can be used to do this. Please be aware that the results you get from them may vary, since not everyone’s [...]
My husband and I love each other more than anything and have two wonderful kids. However, our sex life is virtually non-existent. Where do we begin to fix this? It’s not just that we have busy schedules and are tired most of the time. I simply don’t enjoy sex with him and am not aroused [...]
I am writing with the hopes that you can tell me more about nutrition and libido. Are there books you would recommend, or periodicals that teach about ways to eat that enhance or detract from sexual arousal? I am wondering if eating things such as sugar, caffeine and processed foods interferes with optimum pleasure. My [...]
In 1995, just months after US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders had been fired for mildly pro-masturbation remarks, Good Vibrations launched National Masturbation Month. Dedicated to increasing discussion and ending the stigma surrounding self-pleasure, GV added new elements to the monthly celebration each year, finally introducing the Masturbate-a-Thon, a fundraiser featuring pledge-getting, (private) masturbation and charity [...]
Last night, I had sex for the first time with the new person I am dating. I just moved to a new place, and during the move, I’d found an old box of condoms in my underwear drawer. He asked if I had a condom; I took one of those out; we used it. The [...]
Dear Dr. Carol and Dr. Charlie, I am writing to ask for some help. I am in a very good relationship for 2 years. But we are having some troubles with the sex life! I would say that my boyfriend is a bit on the small side and as a result I do not feel [...]
This article originally appeared on SFGate. It’s bad enough that I have just learned that some workplace firewall software won’t let you look up porn, restaurant reviews, OR sex education (yes, really, there is a website category called “sex education” in which the Center for Sex & Culture plus many other legit sites are included, [...]
Dr Queen: Due to my upbringing, I wanted to wait for complete sexual intimacy until I met someone special, and so I have never experienced penis penetration. I am not gay ~ I just don’t believe in casual sex (I find it difficult to meet someone where there is mutual attraction and someone who believes [...]
