![Get ADOBE FLASH PLAYER](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/prod/assets/carousel_getflash_111808.gif)
Lane Kiffin.
Vilified. Controversial. Funny?
"My 5-year-old daughter, Landry, for some reason, tries to get under my skin all the time," said the new coach for USC, who along with other Pac-10 coaches visited ESPN's campus in Connecticut on Wednesday. "She likes to run around and say her favorite person in the NFL is Al Davis. I don't know where she got that idea from."
"Davis" would be the Oakland Raiders owner who hired Kiffin in 2007 -- making him the youngest head coach in modern NFL history -- and then, a year later, fired him and then went on national TV to rake him over the coals.
"It wasn't me who told her that!" said Kiffin's wife, Layla.
Kiffin quipped: "Hey, I don't think she's part of the interview. She's eating."
Is this the new Lane Kiffin, the coach who has stepped in it a little too much and talked about it a little too much?
"It doesn't fit my personality to be quiet," said Kiffin, who has come under fire at every stop in his coaching career. "I don't want to keep saying 'no comment' to everyone. So I'm very open and to a fault. It's really hurt me over time."
You think?
The son of legendary NFL defensive coach Monte Kiffin, Lane parlayed spending five years with USC as an assistant coach into 20 games as Oakland Raiders coach, one year at the University of Tennessee and now at one of the most storied programs in the nation. And he left those previous two coaching jobs under acrimonious circumstances.
Page 2: Why in the world would you put yourself through this today?
Kiffin: "It's just part of the job. This is the world I live in. Right, wrong, indifferent. I just need to get to next week. That's when we get to practice.
Do you realized you're hated?
"That's your world. I don't hear that stuff. That's not what I deal with on a daily basis. In this profession, people tell you what you want to hear most of the time. That's 99 percent of the people I deal with. They tell me everything is great. I don't have to hear from bloggers or writers out there. I don't deal with it."
For many children, returning to school is an annual ritual of despair. Pools and Popsicles are replaced by homework and questionable lunch meat. Gone are the carefree mornings of sleeping late. They are replaced by long days of ugh learning.
![Maurice Clarett](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0728/ncf_a_clarett_200.jpg)
But for some adults, going back to school is a deliberate choice -- unfathomable to most 9-year-olds. Take Maurice Clarett: The stud running back-turned-felon recently concluded a 3½-year stint in prison for aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon. Upon his release, he re-enrolled at Ohio State, and on Monday, the 26-year-old started classes in the College of Education and Human Ecology.
That got us thinking about notable returns to academia. So grab your books and No. 2 pencils, because we're heading to the classrooms with a look at the best back-to-school stories.
NBA superstars: Who says players who turn pro early can't still earn their degree? Chris Paul returned to Wake Forest to prepare for a religion degree in 2009, and Kevin Durant continued to take classes at Texas after joining the NBA. Shaquille O'Neal, fulfilling a promise to his mother, earned his bachelor's degree in general studies at LSU in 2000, presumably because he stayed away from all acting-related classes.
Steven Spielberg: The legendary director dropped out of USC and subsequently left Long Beach State to work at Universal Studios, although he finally returned to Long Beach State in 2002 to complete his degree in film and electronic arts. If he gets a mulligan on school, why can't he have a do-over for "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"?
Larry Hasenfus: This 58-year-old Springfield (Mass.) College baseball player made the ultimate comeback after flunking out of Saint Anselm College as a teenager because of severe dyslexia. Now, he's pitching for the Pride's JV squad, handlebar moustache and all, and recently made the dean's list.
Elin Nordegren: Tiger Woods' estranged wife is apparently taking summer arts seminars at Rollins College in Winter Park, Fla. We're surprised she didn't just buy the college or three.
Billy Madison: An entire generation learned the year of the Spanish Armada (1588), pined to study business ethics and sung the same song while waiting for the bus every day: "Back to school. Back to school. To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight. I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhh, back to school "
![Donovan McNabb](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0712/sn_g_dmcnabb_576.jpg)
Donovan McNabb joined WQYK in Tampa with Shaun King and Toby David to discuss his memories of Philadelphia, his legacy and this thoughts on reality TV.
On best and worst memories with Philadelphia:
"I don't look back and regret anything. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it the same way. Obviously I would make one game a different outcome. ... One thing that I've kind of looked back on is the '99 draft and a guy kind of sticking his neck out for me and taking a chance and having the confidence knowing that I could be his future quarterback. ... I look forward to doing that here again in Washington."
On importance of winning a Super Bowl for his legacy:
"I've always been a big believer that winning a Super Bowl is an outstanding achievement, but that doesn't really reflect on what type of career that a person has had. Many quarterbacks have won throughout their career and had a lot of success ... and have a lot of wins, but were not able to win that Super Bowl. ... But that is the ultimate goal."
On whether he would consider having a reality show:
"That would be a negative. No way will I put my family and my life on the TV or be involved with something like a dating show or any type of reality show. A couple shows that I would like to join though, I know you don't see too many black people on the 'Jersey Shore.' I figure I can gather up a couple of my boys and we can go down there."
• Click here for a transcript of highlights from the interview
![Joe Mauer](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0726/vg_mauer_1_576.jpg)
Before Joe Mauer was American League MVP, batting champ and striking a pose for the cover of "MLB 10: The Show," he used to sit at home and create himself in baseball video games while dreaming of the day he'd see himself in the majors for real.
"I used to make myself in 'Baseball Stars,' but honestly, I think Sony did a lot better job creating me in 'The Show,'" Mauer tells me over the phone as we talk video games. "I've always played the baseball games, always enjoyed playing, and I never could've imagined that one day I'd be on the cover."
And in a case of life imitating art, Mauer says that this year, fans have been taking lines from his "MLB 10: The Show" commercial and yelling them at him during games. "Some cities are nicer than others in terms of what they say, and some of what is said I can't even repeat, but this year I've been getting a lot of references to going fishing from the commercial. I also get a lot of the line, 'Well played.' That one seems to have stuck with people" he says.
Mauer not only stars on "The Show's" box and in the TV spot, but he also was the inspiration behind the new ability to play catcher and call pitches in the game's Road to the Show mode.
You thought this was about football, didn't you?
You thought that the teaming of Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens in Cincinnati was about the Bengals challenging the Indianapolis Colts and the New York Jets for the AFC crown and possibly turning them into the New Orleans Saints of 2011, didn't you?
You are so wrong.
See, what's really going on here is the beginning of reality TV heaven, the pilot for what will be the greatest reality show since "Flavor Of Love." It's called "The Ochocinco/Ochouno Project."
Everyday, a new story will break. If not, T.O and Chad will create one.
Owens and Ocho will "act" as if football is the reason they decided to join forces. Every week we'll see the greatest acting job in television history. Drama too good to be fake. Or faked.
Just the premise of this has the producers of "HBO: Hard Knocks" kicking themselves. They never saw this one coming. Neither did we. But T.O. and Chad?
They had this planned once they started making guest appearances on each other's reality shows on VH1. Forget "Dancing With the Stars," they saw the bigger picture. They saw Emmys instead of Super Bowl rings.
It's one of the most brilliant television concepts ever. And it's going to have us all hooked.
T.O. and Chad will make sure of that.
And if all else fails, there's one more cast member they can bring in who would fit in better with them than Antonio Bryant: Omarosa.
Tim Tebow has signed on to endorse Jockey. He'll be the face of the company's new "Staycool" line. Tebow, who stated a preference for briefs, unwittingly became the punch line of an Eddie Murphy routine.
![Tim Tebow and Ed Emma](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0728/pg2_tebow_emma1_288.jpg)
The image-conscious quarterback has to play this carefully. When thinking of athletes in underwear ads, the usual suspects are Jim Palmer, Pete Rose, David Beckham and, of course, Joe Namath. Each either had abundant courage or a lack of sense and let the world see him in his knickers. If that's Mount Rushmore, it's better to be Millard Fillmore.
Here's our advice to Tebow: Be like Mike.
Think about it. In all the years Michael Jordan has pitched Hanes, have you ever seen him in his skimpies? Tagless T-shirts, we've seen. Boxers or briefs? Nope.
Yet it works for Hanes, and Jordan keeps getting paid. Plus, he does Hanes commercials with movie stars, many of whom don't need money badly enough to hang around Tim Tebow in his drawers.
You've got two choices, Tim: Be the face of Jockey, or let your Jockeys be your face. Choose wisely.
![Coliseum](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0727/la_coliseum4_576.jpg)
The pope is used to a certain measure of protection. His security detail is hard core. He frequently drives around encased in bulletproof glass. After all, ours is a dangerous world.
Plaques honoring historic visits from popes of yore, however, usually can get by without any unusual fortification.
Usually.
This week, the bronze likeness of Pope John Paul II at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum commemorating his 1987 visit wears a skirt of steel trench plate, concrete and padding as final preparations are made to transform the Coliseum into an X Games centerpiece. In fact, the village of luminaries comprising the Memorial Court of Honor along the stadium's iconic peristyle columns is seeing a change in the surroundings. Everything, it seems, is wrapped in steel. Where once His Holiness and friends looked east toward the Jack and Jill statues and west to the long expanse of green grass and cardinal USC end zones, now all they see is dirt.
Tons of it. And berms, ramps and whoops.
The engines have returned.
The Coliseum traces to the beginning of supercross as a sporting discipline. In 1972, the inaugural Super Bowl of Motocross (nobody had changed the name yet) was held there, and was successful enough to warrant repeat engagements in '73 and '74 and serve as a springboard for a championship series. It remained a mainstay on the (now) supercross circuit until the early '90s, hosting fewer events after but still some of the sport's biggest (including a victory for eight-time X Games medalist Brian Deegan in an AMA event in '97 made controversial when he ghost-rode his bike -- meaning he wasn't on it -- over the finish line).
Here's a compilation of water sports bloopers. The best clip might be the little kid in the above-ground pool who stands on the side and patiently waits for his unsuspecting friend to float into range -- and then drops in like Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka.
![Madden NFL 11](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0726/vg_obama_1_576.jpg)
Winning the Super Bowl in "Madden" has been one of the most anti-climatic events in all of sports gaming throughout the years. But that's all about to change thanks to a little help from the White House.
Now the game's Super Bowl celebration includes team specific commentary by Gus Johnson, a parade, and even a trip to Washington D.C. where your team's star player will not only shake polygonal hands with the president, but present Barack Obama with his own team jersey.
Check out Andrew Fleming making this impossible catch in Ultimate Frisbee.
![Racing Sausages](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0331/radio_g_milsausages_576.jpg)
Spurred on by the success of the Milwaukee Brewers' Famous Racing Sausages, several other baseball teams have added mascot races in recent years, including the Racing Presidents in D.C., the Great Pierogi Race in Pittsburgh, and more recently the Legends Race in Arizona.
Not every team has jumped on the bandwagon. Here are five that should:
Chicago White Sox or Cubs (allegedly crooked politicians): If Illinois is known for anything, it's politicians who do more business under the table than over it. What better way to pay tribute to this rich political heritage than in mascot form? Who wouldn't enjoy seeing a larger-than-life version of former Gov. Rod Blagojevich racing around the warning track against his predecessor, George Ryan?
Kansas City Royals (barbecued meats): A nod to the sausage race that pays homage to the food export that has made Kansas City famous. How about a race contested by ribs, pork chops, grilled chicken and brisket? Fans could receive a discount on the winning meat at concession stands around Kauffman Stadium. Mouthwatering and entertaining.
Baltimore Orioles (Muppets): A tribute to University of Maryland alum Jim Henson. Kermit the Frog could race against Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy and the Swedish Chef in what would easily be the most compelling sight at Camden Yards in recent memory.
Detroit Tigers (pizzas): Little Caesars founder Mike Ilitch owns the club, and the previous owner was Domino's founder Tom Monaghan. Why not have a nightly race to determine which pie reigns supreme? We suggest a Domino's thin crust and a deep dish going up against one of Little Caesars' Hot-N-Ready pizzas and its famous Crazy Bread.
Florida Marlins (fans): The Marlins annually rank at or near the bottom of the major leagues in attendance, so why not reward those who do come? Pick five fans out of the stands each game and have them race during the seventh-inning stretch. The winner's section gets a select food item -- or better yet, free tickets to the next home game.
![Aaron Rodgers](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0726/nfl_ap_arodgers1_576.jpg)
The NFL season is almost here!
OK, it's actually still pretty far away. But camps do open this week, so it's perfectly acceptable to start ironing those Terrible Towels and complaining about your team's schedule. And Page 2 is here to talk a little football to help you through to the season opener. In preparation for the Vikings-Saints game on Sept. 9, we're giving you an early look at the NFL by the numbers.
48 -- The spot where Jimmy Clausen was drafted by the Panthers this spring. I thought he kept saying he was going in the top 10? Maybe he meant rounds.
45 -- The Super Bowl that will take place on Feb. 6, 2011. The big game will be held at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas. (Spoiler alert: The Cowboys won't be playing in it.)
32 -- The number of games Aaron Rodgers has started since Brett Favre left Green Bay. In that time, the Packers QB has thrown for more than 8,400 yards and 58 touchdowns. That's all while being sacked 84 times! Maybe Rodgers isn't buying his offensive line nice enough watches after every season.
31 -- The age of reigning Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees. It's been a pretty good year for the Saints QB ... except for that unfortunate Oprah birthmark incident.
27 -- That's how old Jay Cutler is. But that's not important. What is important is that he was born 27 years ago in Santa Claus, Ind. We're not making that up. That must be why he's so giving to other teams. The Bears QB threw 26 interceptions last season. If he does that again, we have a feeling Lovie Smith will fill his locker full of coal.
25 -- Where Tim Tebow was drafted this spring by the Broncos, much to the disappointment of many of his hometown Jacksonville fans. Fun fact: The Broncos travel to take on the Jaguars in Week 1. Will the crowd cheer or boo when Tebow throws a jump pass to win it for Denver?
A 5-foot-9 guy dunking flat foot from beneath the basket is rather impressive in itself. Add in the fact he put the ball between his legs while in the air, and you've got ridiculous.
![John Fogerty](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0725/life_a_fogerty_576.jpg)
This past weekend, John Fogerty's 1985 hit "Centerfield" was honored at the Baseball Hall of Fame for its contribution to the sport. It was the first time a musician or song had been recognized at such a ceremony, and it got us thinking: Which other songs are worthy of Hall of Fame acknowledgement?
"One Shining Moment" is a college basketball classic, but what about "We Will Rock You"? Or even "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"? If you think a song should be honored at a particular sport's Hall of Fame, let us know about it.
Send the song, sport and your convincing argument to kaitee.r.daley@espn.com, along with your first name, the first initial of your last name and your location. Bonus points for anyone who ends his or her e-mail with "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play ..."
Look for the list on Page 2 this Wednesday.
Chris Paul apparently will be staying with the New Orleans Hornets after all.
Just days after Paul was reportedly plotting his exit from the Big Easy, the team released a statement implying that things are just peachy between the Hornets and their franchise point guard.
![Chris Paul](https://web.archive.org/web/20100729000159im_/http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2010/0723/ny_g_paul1x_288.jpg)
"The meeting went well," Paul said in the statement. "It was great to get an opportunity to sit down with Coach Williams, President Weber and our new General Manager Dell Demps. I expressed my desire to win and I like what they said about the direction that they want to take the team. I have been a Hornet my entire career and I hope to represent the city of New Orleans and state of Louisiana for many years to come."
Sometimes it can be difficult to decipher the real meaning behind such a statement. Lucky for you, Page 2 is here to read between the lines and offer an educated guess:
What CP3 said: "The meeting went well."
What CP3 meant: "The meeting did not go well."
What CP3 said: "It was great to get an opportunity to sit down with Coach Williams, President Weber and our new General Manager Dell Demps."
What CP3 meant: "Who is Dell Demps?! ... and why am I using so many capital letters?!"
What CP3 said: "I expressed my desire to win and I like what they said about the direction that they want to take the team."
What CP3 meant: "Since I'm under contract for two more seasons, my agent says I really won't be able to wield any leverage until 2011, at the earliest."
What CP3 said: "I have been a Hornet my entire career ..."
What CP3 meant: "LeBron James had been a Cavalier for his entire career ..."
What CP3 said: "... I hope to represent the city of New Orleans and state of Louisiana for many years to come."
What CP3 meant: "This is a fantastic town, and I love the people. I definitely plan on keeping a house here long after I leave as a free agent in 2012."
It's Christmas morning and every big, brightly wrapped package underneath the tree has your name on it. The only difference is that you won't find a train set or the Lego version of the Death Star behind the wrapping. No, you know you are going to find Chris Johnson or Drew Brees or Andre Johnson crammed into your stocking.
That's how we feel about our fantasy football Draft Night. It's that special.
It's belongs somewhere in the Big Five with Christmas, your birthday, tax refund day, Super Bowl Sunday and (he wrote dutifully) your anniversary. (You decide which one to throw out in order to make room for Draft Night.)
But any event that can offer as much reward as Draft Night can also offer that much pain. Even a hot date gone bad is not as embarrassing -- because your buddies weren't there to witness your stupidity. At least, we hope your buddies weren't there.
A botched draft is a horrible thing. "My quarterbacks are JaMarcus Russell and Mike Vick?" Oh yes, it happens -- and it has happened to us all.
You've been there. Don't deny it. And that's what we want to know this week. What results tell you that you have had a really bad Draft Night? In fact, as a warning to others, let's put together this list: "Top Ten Reasons Your Fantasy Football Draft Night Went Really Bad."
Send your best reason (or reasons) to osogreene@aol.com -- plus your first name, initial of your last name and your location. Do it now. You're at work, so you've got nothing better to do. After all, we're talking fantasy football again -- and nothing's better than that including Christmas -- or, at the very least, your anniversary.
We'll publish the list Thursday -- a chance for your 15 seconds of fame!
LISTEN IN
DJ Gallo and Mike Philbrick discuss the machismo of Roy Oswalt and Chris Paul. Plus, USC coach Lane Kiffin earns a game ball and Cowboys wide receivers stay classy.
DJ Gallo and Mike Philbrick award a game ball to Timberwolves GM David Kahn and commend Alabama coach Nick Saban for staying classy. Plus, the Notre Dame-Miami rivalry resumes.
Were the Titans or Chris Johnson more macho? DJ Gallo and Mike Philbrick decide. Plus, USC earns a game ball to replace Reggie Bush's Heisman, and Jimmy Johnson joins "Survivor."