Masturbation
Masturbation
is the deliberate stimulation of one's own genitals to achieve sexual
arousal and pleasure. It is done at least occasionally by a majority
of both men and women.
In
one recent national study, 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women
reported having masturbated. It is the first overt sexual act for
the majority of men and women, although more women than men engage
in sexual intercourse before they ever masturbate.
A
Common Sexual Behavior
Most
men who masturbate tend to do so more often than women, and they
are more likely to report always or usually experiencing orgasm
when they masturbate (80 percent to 60 percent respectively). It
is the second most common sexual behavior (coitus being first),
even for those who have a regular sexual partner.
Most
children—often from the time they are infants onward—find
the occasional stimulation of their genitals sensually pleasing,
but do not come to understand this behavior as "sexual"
until late childhood or adolescence.
During
adolescence, the percentage of both sexes who report masturbating
increases dramatically, especially for males. Most people continue
to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so throughout their lives.
No
Physical or Mental Harm
The
term masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging and
debasing nature. Its negative images may be traced as far back as
the word's Latin origin, masturbare, which is a combination of two
Latin words, manus (hand) and stuprare (defile), thus "to defile
with the hand." The built-in notion of shame and uncleanliness
implied by the defiling portion of the word has remained in the
modern translation—even though medical authorities have been
in agreement for some time that masturbation causes no physical
or mental harm. Nor is there any evidence that children who engage
in self-stimulation are in any way harmed by it.
The
fact that this important source of sexual pleasure is still regarded
by some with guilt and anxiety is partly due to ignorance of the
fact that masturbation is not harmful and partly due to centuries
of religious teaching that it is sinful.
In
addition, many of us have received negative messages about masturbation
from our parents or have even been punished when caught masturbating
as children. The cumulative effect of these influences is usually
confusion and guilt that is often difficult to sort out. About the
only time masturbation can be harmful is when it becomes compulsive.
Compulsive masturbation, like all other compulsive behaviors, is
a sign of an emotional problem and needs to be addressed by a mental
health specialist.
So,
contrary to ancient and popular beliefs, masturbation does not lead
to unbridled lust, does not make you blind or deaf, give you the
flu, drive you crazy, grow hair on your hand, make you stutter,
or kill you. Masturbation is a natural and harmless expression of
sexuality in both men and women and a perfectly good way to experience
sexual pleasure.
Masturbation
May Improve Sexual Health
In
fact, some experts argue that masturbation improves sexual health
by increasing an individual's understanding of his or her own body
and of what is erotically pleasing, building self-confidence and
fostering self-acceptance. This knowledge can then be carried forth
to make for a more satisfying sexual relationship with one's partner,
both through each partner's comfort with mutual masturbation, and
because of the ability to tell each other what is most pleasing.
It
is a good idea for a couple to discuss their attitudes about masturbation
and to calm any insecurities a partner may have if the other should
sometimes favor masturbation over sexual intercourse. In some relationships,
masturbation may be mutually acceptable. Done alone or in the presence
of a partner, the act can be pleasing and add to mutual intimacy
if it is not experienced as a rejection. Like most behaviors, without
proper communication, the act of masturbation can be used as a sign
of anger, alienation or displeasure with the way the relationship
is progressing.
Overcoming
society's negative stereotypes and one's personal feelings about
masturbation can allow men and women the freedom to explore and
experience their own sexuality in a private, satisfying manner.
One word of caution: in keeping with the practices of safer sex,
masturbation with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse,
as long as you avoid contact with your partner's semen or vaginal
fluids, especially if you have any cuts or open sores.
Copyright
2002 Sinclair Intimacy Institute
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