MVT: Most Valuable Tweeters

Michael Oher
"Im really a maya moore fan"

How I See It: Just ask her out already.

Hakim Warrick
"Just cop some true cargo shorts n the middle of dec... Gotta love phx"

How I See It: Gotta love that 11-12 record.

Brandon Jennings
"Any basketball games on espn or espn2 tonight?"

How I See It: Is it just me, or does a single professional athlete know how to use the internet?

Braylon Edwards
"What's up world...Today is foundation tuesday...were getting a lot of work done"

How I See It: You might as well be getting work done since you guys haven't scored a touchdown since Thanksgiving.

Kevin Weekes
"Hey Toronto-we're in Canada NOT New Mexico,all of you with 4-Wheel drive...have to be able to drive in Winter !!!"

How I See It: Seriously, there is no other side to this argument. I just don't know how to respond to this.

Jay Feely
"Is this thing really supposed to make my groin feel better? http://twitpic.com/3ezj8"

How I See It: Jay, you rushed for a touchdown on Sunday; I was impressed. Don't make me lose all the respect I just gained for you.

Visanthe Shiancoe
"I apoligize to the fans that had to witness that type of abomination tonight.. just embarrassing and disgusting"

How I See It: It's all right. They're used to it in Detroit.

Andre Iguodala
"I think it's really dope when someone who looks like they have no interest in sports notices me... Old man in borders was cool as hell..."

How I See It: Andre, that was Doug Collins ...

Shawne Merriman
"It's not the cards your dealt with but how you play them so stop complaining and make it happen"

How I See It: Even if the cards you're dealt happen to be the Buffalo Bills.

Jeremy Lin
"today i learned that spilling room service on my bed means i dont get to eat or sleep...and im in utah..."

How I See It: One would think they'd have taught you that at Harvard.

LaMarr Woodley
"Giving away 2 free tix 2 justin bieber concert at consol 2nite.. who want them?? and no im not a fan lol"

How I See It: I thought you guys already played Tom Brady?

T.J. Ward
"I hate loosing with a passion. There is no way that ill get use to this."

How I See It: You should wear a belt if your pants are too loose.

Willie Anderson
"Who do the Bengals have next week?"

How I See It: Why do you bother asking this question on Twitter when you have the entire world wide web at your disposal?

Steve Slaton
"Wish I could have a snowball fight"

How I See It: Why don’t you? None of your adult friends want to play in the snow with you?

Rudy Fernandez
"Patty is ironman!!!"

How I See It: No, Robert Downey Jr. is ...

Jalen Rose
"#NFL Detroit Lions thanks for beating the Packers 7-3! (After losing 19th straight division games)"

How I See It: Who knew all it would take is a concussion?

Joe Namath
"Dolphins reading Sanchez like a book…"

How I See It: Nah, I’d say reading Sanchez like a jet start-up manual.

Rajon Rondo
"I'm hungry and don't know what to eat"

How I See It: Food is normally a solid choice. Just don’t steal anything ... if anything, you should save that for the Tuesday night game against the Knicks.

Greg Monroe
"y wuld u say u aint gonna do somethin when thats exactly what u gonna do?"

How I See It: Are you referring to NBA teams telling themselves they are going to win when they aren't?

Nick Barnett
"Time to cheat on my no meat diet!!! Fiveguys Chesse burger it's going down!!"

How I See It: In-N-Out is better.

John Wall
"Good morning world"

How I See It: What's so good about being 6-15?

Jimmy Clausen
"I don't understand why people wear masks around town still ??"

How I See It: Jimmy, if you keep playing like you have been, you might want to start wearing a mask around town.

Chad Ochocinco
"T.G.I.F. = Thank God I'm Forgiven for that 1 time i took that candy out of the store when i was a child (please insert your own forgiven)"

How I See It: Little Chad stealing candy? Child, please.

Tim Tebow
"We fully support Coach Studesville... He will do a great job in his new position and will make Broncos fans proud of this team! GB2"

How I See It: Why do I keep reading this as "Urban Meyer for Broncos coach 2011?"

Amare Stoudemire
"What’s the average age of the Knicks this year?"

How I See It: Well below your current scoring average.

Larry Fitzgerald
"@kurt13warner miss ya man! Tell the wife and kids I said hello"

How I See It: Not satisfied with your Fordham QB, Larry? Stop trying, he's not getting off the couch with four games left to play.

Curt Schilling
".296 13 HR 75 or so RBI's = 20+MM a year? 50 SB a year with a .337 OBP? I love Carl Crawford, plays his ass off, but 20x8? GRAB THAT CARL!"

How I See It: Ugh, now Schilling's going try to take credit for this signing, somehow.

Danny Granger
"In Milwaukee and there is absolutely nothing to do here"

How I See It: I feel like at least ten NBA players tweet this every week.

Jose Canseco
"Next item up for ouction spend a day with jose. Who's gonna start the bidding"

How I See It: I can only imagine: Wake up, eat breakfast, shoot up steroids. Eat lunch, shoot up steroids. Eat dinner, shoot up steroids. Rage with Mark McGwire. Take HGH and go to sleep.

Jozy Altidore
"Today reminded me of those Dominoes pizza kids who were farting on pizzas and all that. What ever happened to those kids??"

How I See It: What ever happened the U.S. soccer team? Come out again in three and a half years, please.

Jim Craig
"Pats vs Jets a great example of two different coaches both who teach their TEAM that winning is all that matters"

How I See It: And eating. And spying. And winning too, I guess.

Sasha Vujacic
"Special thanks to all of my fans who came out to the AT&T; store in Newport on Saturday!!!"

How I See It: Right, cause they came for you, not Maria Sharapova. You are one lucky man, Sasha Vujacic,

LeBron James
"Peyton does on the field. Good or bad! People get on TV and think they can say whatever they want! And it's always former players! Crazy!!"

How I See It: You dig yourself into these holes, Mr. "Decision."

Lee Westwood
"you need tevez back!! I've retweeted a few and opened a can of worms! Not doin anymore! Missed most of the first half!"

How I See It: I swear, the first five times I read this, I thought Westwood was talking about Tevas sandals and it made me so happy. What a letdown ...

James Harden
"Numbers game is wack!!!!!!!!"

How I See It: Yup, numbers do suck when you are shooting 36 percent from the field in 26 minutes of action.

Mike Tyson
"As long as you continue to live, something great will happen.."

How I See It: Ehhh, I'm not even going to get started with this one.

Jason Thompson
"Keep your confidence high, keep your outlook positive. In time your determination will lead you to your success. Yessir"

How I See It: Love the sentiment, but I hate to break it to Jason: That's never going to happen on the Kings. Let's just say it's not a good sign when they are playing centers -- Thompson -- at small forward and shooting guard because their whole roster is either 7-0 or above, mentally inept, or just terrible at basketball.

Leonard Weaver
"I'm sittin here after the first session with my dogs Mango and dream."

How I See It: I'm going to ignore the other funny part of this tweet (a dog named "Mango") and touch on something else: What is a dog "session?" Is this like marriage counseling or pre-school for dogs? I'm confused.

Muggsy Bogues
"Hanging out with my son today he out of school..just got hair cuts and now going to big daddys 4 lunch!"

How I See It: The 5-3 Bogues referring to himself as "big daddy" is classic. (Sorry, Muggsy.) Oh, wait, he must mean Big Daddy's, the burger joint. Right?

Keauna McLaughlin
"Count your blessing everyday. What are YOU thankful for?"

How I See It: Thanksgiving was last Thursday. You’re a little late.

John Riggins
"Jacobs hasn't broken a sweat yet."

How I See It: He’s a 6-4, 264 pound running back who rushed for 103 yards and two touchdowns today ... you’re telling me not one ounce of perspiration has dripped off his face.

David Price
"30 degrees and snowing...I still chose to go to smoothie king which is right beside starbucks...they said I was their 4th customer all day"

How I See It: Wow, just No. 4? That’s three spots back than what I would have expected.

Renee Montgomery
"Dear Cowboys defense, you might want to pay attention to Reggie Wayne. Signed, a not so observant fan"

How I See It: Dear Cowboys defense, you should have been getting turnovers during the FIRST half of the season.

Ryan Grant
"Jealous I didn't get a chance to wear that throwback"

How I See It: Consider yourself lucky. Those jerseys were dead ugly.

Candice Wiggins
"Momentum is the independent variable in basketball"

How I See It: I’ll be sure to turn that Tweet into an inspirational Hallmark card.

Jeremy Abbott
"I am 25 1/2 years old today. I'm not sure how that makes me feel…"

How I See It: I thought the rule was that people stopped celebrating half birthdays once they reached 10. Somebody obviously didn’t get the memo.

Darren Sharper
"Y'all know what it is. Sorry Ocho but the Who Dats always.......win win win win win. NO Matter What!"

How I See It: Then how do you explain your three losses this season?

Stevie Johnson
"Mannn I Can Watch EveryBody Hates Chris All Day!! Any1 Else Fans Of EveryBody hates Chris? Whats Yal Tv Shows? I'll b sure To check them Out

How I See It: I guess it’s better than hating God all day.

Jermichael Finley
"I just heard Jesus was a cheesehead.."

How I See It: I wouldn’t be surprised, although he’s certainly working in odd ways this year.

Braylon Edwards
" I bet yall didnt know @Revis24 is most likely to retire & become a rapper LOL I only freestyle he makes full songs haha"

How I See It: So that’s what he was doing while he wasn’t at training camp. Would anyone else love to see a T.O.-Revis Rap Battle?

Tracy Porter
"So it begins: #whodat vs #whodey battle....well we (#whodats) can't wait! Need I saw more? #filmstudy on deck."

How I See It: What an epic storyline. Too bad the Bengals are awful.

Jimmy Clausen
"@ShowtimeTate u better hook me up Friday night for dinner my brotha!"

How I See It: Golden, trust me: After what Clausen’s endured this year, the least you can do is buy the man some grub.

Ryan Clark
"You know something has to be rotten when it stinks bad enough for the Ravens & the Steelers to agree it smells horrible."

How I See It: This is, by far, the best description of the Ravens-Steelers rivalry to date. Can’t wait for Sunday!

Tiger Woods
"Getting a lesson in @ replies here it goes.. http://twitpic.com/3bp5uj"

How I See It: Tiger taking a lesson? Okay, now we know it isn't actually him tweeting.

Larry Fitzgerald
"??The Ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort & convenience,but where he (cont) http://tl.gd/77qd7k"

How I See It: So, in other words, we should not measure your career based on your four Pro Bowl appearances, but rather if you can ever find success after Kurt Warner's retirement?

Nate Robinson
"I'm n Cleveland bored outta my witz #WordAApp! Anybody know if it's anything to do? Anybody cooking would love a home cooked meal #WordAApp!"

How I See It: I guarantee you there's a LeBron James jersey burning within a three-block radius if you want entertainment.

Dez Bryant
"I'm wanting to watch twilight eclipse on a website..anyone know any websites?"

How I See It: Dez, I know it's been a tough rookie season, but this is a little too low even for someone on a 3-8 team.

Curtis Granderson
"happy 41st birthday Mariano Rivera!!! http://fb.me/EVWZvJYB"

How I See It: This will make the Yankees think twice about a multi-year deal.

Roddy White
"I can't believe tht wideout blame good for dropping a ball I have dropped a lot of balls and never once thought it was god fault"

How I See It: Okay, so Matt Ryan isn't god. Check him off the list.

Ozzie Guillen
"Hard work put u in nice situation my fat boy"

How I See It: Your previous tweet, "Juan uribe 3 years iam proud uribe great job buddy," was just a tad sweeter.

John Calipari
"That's a first. I can never remember a time when she chose my game over something for Erin, Megan or Brad. Have a wonderful birthday!"

How I See It: A perfect example of why Coach Cal is such a good recruiter. Nobody could care even the slightest bit whether or not Calipari's wife goes to the game tonight, but the fact that he updates his page every 30 minutes with useless information gets him "in" with teenagers.

Steven Jackson
"Ok.. So I look out my hotel room and see someone swimming in the pool. Then I look left and see ppl ice skating.. I'm confused."

How I See It: Denver's a weird city, my friend.

LeBron James
"It's just 2 easy!! I smell a blowout"

How I See It: "Maybe I led you to believe it was easy, when it wasn't." -- Michael Jordan.

Jon Scheyer
"I really hope andre johnson doesn't get suspended! I got him on my fantasy team! Plus, he won that fight... And the game haha"

How I See It: From starting point guard on a national championship team to fantasy football freak? The D-League can't call soon enough.

Marquis Daniels
"I need food sooner than later, any suggestions I dnt want steak tonite....."

How I See It: Worse comes to worse you can always eat Nate. Actually, Big Baby probably did that already.

Dustin Keller
"Thanksgiving leftovers are the greatest..but I promise I won't have too much"

How I See It: ... Because Rex Ryan already ate most of them.

Bryant McKinnie
"Some ppl need 2 get off twitter so much & fill out a job application."

How I See It: I bet you don't want Brad Childress filling out a job application any time soon. Unless it's for Walmart, of course.

Stephon Marbury
"Haters hate because they think its going to make them great.-#ISAIDIT"

How I See It: No, haters hate because you got paid $20 million to sit at home and stay away from the team.

Chad OchoCinco
"With me being fined ridiculous amounts of money 4 (celebrations) (uniform violations) if I were2 fight they'd kick me out da NFL #seriously"

How I See It: They wouldn’t kick you out of the NFL without fining you first.

Stuart Holden
"Pfft.. who cares about Pacquiao-Mayweather.. I want 2 see #beast Andre Johnson in the ring!!! boooom!!"

How I See It: If I am ever in a dark alley alone at night and have the ability to have one NFL player protect me, I’m calling Andre Johnson to come to my rescue.

Thurman Thomas
"Put Jason Campbell in.…"

How I See It: Okay, you can’t be THAT desperate for a win.

Adrian Peterson
"My ankle is doing ok! I'll know more tomorrow! After I get a full evaluation!"

How I See It: Absolutely no need for three exclamation points in that Tweet! Zero reason for it!

Jermaine O'Neal
"Football isn't the same without my cowboys playing on sundays!"

How I See It: Yeah, you’re right -- it’s better.

Antonio Pierce
"Say what you want to say about TC .. But the GMEN CAME OUT WITH a light under their ass in the Second half"

How I See It: Does ESPN really just pay you to Tweet the obvious?

Allison Baver
"Why can't chocolate chip cookies taste bad like Brussels Sprouts?"

How I See It: Because Brussels sprouts don’t contain chocolate.

John Wall
"Miami is always a nice play to come...Beautiful weather!!!"

How I See It: Maybe we all have been too hard on LeBron. He probably just went to the Heat because of the weather. Good call Mr. Wall.

Brian Vickers
"Champions party last night was pretty tame. LOUD. We didn't stay out late. Must be getting too old? That & my buddy Ryan had to work today."

How I See It: Wait tame AND loud? How does that work?

Tony Gonzalez
"Time for some DVR, what College games were exciting this weekend?"

How I See It: Any game except your alma mater's. Stanford killed our Bears, Tony.

Chansi Stuckey
"Not really feeling the new Range Rover Coupe Prestige"

How I See It: You're an athlete. Go buy a new car.

Chad Ochocinco
"I love these NFL random drug-steroid test, nothing like pissing excellence for higher authority but I know all they see is cranberry-redbull"

How I See It: I think the Bengals might need some roids. Who loses to the Bills?

Paul Bissonnette
"So got my new phone. The a hole who stole my other one called 2 edmonton numbers. 780 907 3319 and 780 264 8824. Abuse these numbers please."

How I See It: Will do, Mr. Biz Nasty.

Rasual Butler
"You better not be on twitter in church."

How I See It: Okay, I’m Jewish and I wouldn’t even Tweet in church.

Hunter Pence
"Game Set Match!! Texans baby!"

How I See It: Stick to baseball.

Willie Anderson
"I told yall last week The Legend of Mark Sanchez is growing!"

How I See It: No, the legend of Super Bowl XLIII MVP Santonio Holmes is growing.

Adam Rippon
"Wicked was amazing! If you ever have the chance to go and see it... GO!"

How I See It: The play is seven years old and was nominated for 10 Tony Awards in 2004. I think you’re the last one to see it.

Martellus Bennett
"Damn u kicked my heart in the ass girl."

How I See It: Wait, time out. You’re heart has an ass. You better get that checked out.

Trevor Immelman
"Go Cowboys!!!! Either Wade Phillips hard work is finally paying off or Jason Garrett is a genius...... #fb"

How I See It: It’s definitely not Wade, so it’s possible Jason Garrett is a genius. Someone check that man’s IQ.

Deion Sanders
"Who goes 1st Farve or Childress?"

How I See It: Trick question ... they are fired at the same time. Oh, and you spelled Favre wrong.

Chris Douglas-Roberts
"I'm a boss so my safe got a bathroom…"

How I See It: I’m Chris, I have no idea what I just said.

AJ Allmendinger
"I think I'm getting car sick..."

How I See It: This is THE ultimate irony.

Mike Vick
"All my female followers check out www.pnkelephant.com accessories and their friday specials this my fiance store"

How I See It: Who knew Vick had a fiancee? And female followers!?

Donte Stallowrth
"Now @billmaher is talking about what America's ranks throughout the world... Crazy statistics he's spitting out and sadly comical"

How I See It: This just in: Donte Stallworth knows his politics.

Donte Whitner
"@ochocinco dont forget TE's...and tell 94 I have something special for him on the Goalline"

How I See It: Just because you won one game doesn’t mean you can go around trash talking now.

Sean May
"TruecRT @rondajae: We always have a big loss at the beginning of our National Championship years?!? Right? :-/"

How I See It: Yeah, you wish. Tough loss for UNC.

Kurt Warner
"Ever have those days when ur so tired u don't want 2 get up & brush ur teeth (even tho it's only 10 ft away)? 1 night won't hurt, right?"

How I See It: Too tired to brush, but energetic enough to get on your computer and tweet? Very interesting, Mr. Warner.

Mike Vick
"Lol Im just having fun playing football again ! Rt @KingJames Mike Vick for PRESIDENT!!"

How I See It: Not LeBron for president. And by the way, if PETA doesn't like current politicians, I can't even imagine what Vick's campaign would look like.

Brendan Shanahan
"I remember asking a guy to fight in junior. He didn't say yes or no- just punched me in the nose. Pulled my neck muscles. Lesson learned."

How I See It: That's awesome, Brendan. I have no idea what prompted you to post that on Twitter tonight, but great story.

Paul Allen
"Blazers gritty win in Memphis big games by Andre and Wes with Brandon out....Hawks victory in Phoenix sun great to be there for it!"

How I See It: I would find this very funny if you posted this on a Mac.

Manu Ginobli
"Artículo de Paenza en P/12 sobre seguridad digital y hackers. Muy interesante. http://bit.ly/aikTeT"

How I See It: Digital security and hackers. Very interesting. Okay...I think I got it. Thanks for the internet safety help, Manu?

Andy Rautins
"Well said homes RT @landryfields: Everyone who referenced Dumb and Dumber, I applaud you! Literally had my cracking up in this hotel room."

How I See It: Now that's not way to talk about Donnie Walsh and Mike D'Antoni!

Brady Quinn
"Beat KC!"

How I See It: Watching two other quarterbacks play and flirting with Charlie Weis across the field does not qualify as being part of the victory.

David Garrard
"Anybody got Philly scoring half a hundred??"

How I See It: Anybody got David Garrard throwing a hail mary to Mike Thomas as time expires? Gus Johnson sure didn't.

Mike Tyson
"I'm in Vegas wrapping up @animalplanet show. About to head to the studio to record a track."

How I See It: Animal Planet? Wussie. I just had to say that to see if Mike Tyson comes to my house tomorrow and beats me to a pulp.

Sean May
"@NazrMohammed it's sick! That's all u need to know!! #hype"

How I See It: I hope this doesn't mean "sick" in the extremely athletic sense. If so, Sean May is the guy who needs to see a doctor.

LeBron James
"Rough day at work today but very productive! I love it. Now time to regroup in this 45 degrees cold tank. Burrrrr!! http://twitpic.com/37ewc0"

How I See It: Yeah, I can't even imagine. Having to share the ball with two other all-star starters. Real rough.