Tales From A Loser: Rooting For The Buffalo Bills To Fail

by Spencer Lund | 5:12 pm, November 29th, 2010

The recent Twitter proclamation from Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson, wherein he blamed God for his dropped pass on Sunday, is just another layer on the Buffalo Bills already multi-layered cake of despair. The Bills were looking to win their 3rd straight game after a dismal 0-8 start, and to give their fanbase some semblance of hope moving forward. A win against the vaunted Steelers, some may argue, would do the trick.

I don’t agree.

I already mentioned this earlier in the year, but I want the Buffalo Bills to lose. So, really,  it’s okay that Johnson dropped that pass.  I could even argue God did us a favor; although football should be a secular pastime regardless of who you thank when you’re celebrating a touchdown, I am convinced Johnson’s bad hands were secretly a gift from above.

I am comfortable taking the loss. You can be too, Bills fans.

Buffalo currently sit at 2-9, after an 0-8 start, and the Carolina Panthers, Cincinnati OchoOwens, and Detroit Lions would pick ahead of us in the 2011 NFL draft.  This is a minor disaster. Andrew Luck is going to be the #1 pick in the NFL draft, and one of those teams that currently sit ahead of the Bills on the draft board will get him. Detroit or Cincinnati might trade down if they’re comfortable with Shaun Hill/returning from injury Matthew Stafford and Cinci with Carson Palmer.  Carolina might even keep Jimmy Clausen. But Luck is so talented, it’s conceivable that any of the three teams could pick him up and trade away their current QB1.

Why is all of this so important when everyone’s favorite little Ivy-League QB that could, Ryan Fitzpatrick , is having a pretty good year?  Because we’ll continue to be stuck in mediocrity with him. He’s a nice QB, but he’s not the savior we need. The Bills haven’t been relevant as a franchise in over a decade, and perpetual 7-9 seasons mean perpetual mediocrity: no high draft picks, no instances of hitting rock bottom to rally around. 7-9, one would argue, is our favorite position to be in, as we eek out  of middle of the road finishes amidst talks of moving the team to Toronto or L.A.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is a 7-9 QB.

This is not to say I wasn’t dismayed like every Bills fan when Johnson did drop the pass, but the same thing happened when we lost to the Ravens, Chiefs and Bears by 3 points 3 weeks in a row.  It’s just another drop in a large bucket of failure for Bills fans.  That Chiefs one particularly stung because I had high hopes for a 0-1-15 season (this is Bills humor).  The problem is we’re just good enough to never improve.

I’ve stopped going to McFaddens and Kelly’s on Sundays; stopped returning text messages on Sunday mornings to meet up with friends from home. I’ve avoided Manhattan altogether so I’m not tempted to dip into a bar and watch. I watch my team on my computer in Brooklyn, and cringe when we lose like last Sunday, but I’m not upset. Many fans will not understand this. I can’t watch them get close and then lose or get close and then win. I need to be alone. To beg them to fail, while at the same time hoping they succeed. I’m a sports schizophrenic that should not be in public.

I understand I am in the minority. I hate rooting for them to lose; just like I hate any team that dumps games to get a high draft pick. I’m just too broken as a fan to come up with anything better.

If we fail enough, we might have Luck on our side again. That’s all I really want.