Fallen sports heroes

Most athletes and sports figures are very appropriate role models for children and adolescents.  However, too often sports figures make headlines for less than admirable actions; and parents, teachers, and coaches are faced with explaining inappropriate and even illegal behavior by well-known sports figures to their children, students, and players.   

It’s important to address the issue in a direct, open and honest manner.  Children need the opportunity to express their thoughts, share their disappointment, and ask questions.   

Talking to children about fallen sports heroes: 
Tips for parents, teachers, and coaches 

Here are some tips that may be helpful: 

Talk about the news stories. Tell them what you think and why.  Ask them if they’ve discussed the issue with friends or teammates. 

Answer questions. Answer any questions kids may have with honest and accurate information geared to the child’s age and developmental level. 

Talk about peer pressure. Famous athletes feel pressure to consistently perform well.  Kids feel pressure too (e.g., pressure to smoke, drink, or skip school).   

Separate good qualities/decisions and bad. Tell children it’s okay to look up to famous athletes, but they don’t have to try to be like them in all respects.  No one is totally perfect or totally bad. 

Remind children that admitting mistakes and apologizing for them is important.  Explain that lying about mistakes only makes them worse in the end. 

Explain that people deserve a second chance when they make a mistake.  If someone learns from their mistake and does better the next time, shouldn’t we forgive them and give them another chance?  

Talk about fairness in competition.  If the media story involves the use of performance enhancing substances (e.g., steroids), talk about fairness in competition. 

Identify other heroes.  Many teachers, relatives, neighbors, and other “real life” people are also heroes.  Tell children why you admire them and help them identify heroes in their own lives. 

Keep communication open. Tell children to come to you if they have questions or concerns about anything anyone does or says at school, among friends, or related to sports activities. 

For more information: 

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Facts for Families:  Children and Sports