Britney Spears

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: “Hold It Against Me,” the new single from Britney Spears, is a solid smash that we predict will debut at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100.

The tune, the first single from her March album, is a fuzzy dance slab full of electronic beats, spoken word, shifts in feel, and, oh yeah, some breathy, monotone (and autotuned) vocals by Spears.

The lyrics, not that they really matter, are about seeing someone across the club, lovingly referred to as  “Hey over there” (and who wouldn’t respond to that?), and being so drawn to them that you want to break away with them, maybe to the unisex bathroom for a quickie, maybe for a lifetime or until divorce do us part. It's a fun fantasy.

But this song, which debuted today on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS morning show, is all about the production by Dr. Luke and Max Martin (and the way Brit Brit makes “hazy” a three-syllable word) and on that account, it’s a win, if a qualified one.

[Song and more after the jump...]

“Hold It Against Me” sounds like it was created, piece by piece, beat by beat, in a laboratory and it has about as much soul as an ice cube, but it's a great-sounding record.  Remember those two creepy club lizards Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell created on “Saturday Night Live”—the head-bobbing “Roxbury” guys?  This song feels like it was created for one of their sketches, albeit an extraordinarily well-crafted one.

There’s a sweet chorus that attempts to interject some of Spears’ school-girl vulnerability, but the most interesting part is the breakdown right after Spears stops her robotic, flat singing (that’s not a criticism, we think that’s very much the sound she was going for) and asks “If I said I want your body now/Would you hold it against me.”  It’s controlled chaos, full of angsty breaks and stutters. It's as if the Ecstasy just kicked in at that exact point.

 And ecstasy is exactly what this song will be for Britney fans. On a broader career note, the resurrection of Britney, after the success of her last tour and album, is totally complete. We're holding nothing against her anymore, in the best possible way.

What do you think of Britney's new song?