The ultimate ‘Great British Bake Off’ 2014 game: eat-a-long with the show

We’ve always been obsessed with cake. Now we’re also obsessed with a wonderful programme that justifies our love of baked goods, and encourages us to think about them more often – to not only consider our possibilities as a baker, but to achieve, and only accept, baking perfection. Yep, we’re obsessed with ‘The Great British Bake Off’.

With the fifth series kicking off on BBC1 tonight, we thought it was only right we added a fourth dimension to the festival of cake. We’ve devised this nifty drinking eating game, which ought to hold off the sugary cravings we’re normally left with by the end of the hour. Rules are:

If someone has to don a blue plaster (which they ought to, if last year’s bloodbath is anything to go by), eat a Jammy Dodger.

Every time somebody shoehorns a macaron into their cake/dessert/petit four/TRIFLE design, down a macaron (or a marshmallow, if you’re not a flipping billionaire).

If any of the classic ‘Bake Off’ quotes pop up – soggy bottom, tight crumb, good crust, good bake – pop an Iced Gem. Anything bigger would be unmanageable.

If at any point you wish Mary Berry was your surrogate grandma, pick up a shortbread finger.

Enjoy a Bourbon whenever anyone utters the words: CHOCOLATE GANACHE.

 Whenever the camera cuts to footage of animals doing animal things – we’re talking squirrels, rabbits, birds, tigers – munch on a wildlife biscuit.

 Pick up a party ring (your choice of colour) if anyone says anything in French, Italian or any other snazzy language to make their bake sound more exciting. 

 And finally… when Mel and/or Sue manage to sneak in a little innuendo, suck on a chocolate finger.

Please eat responsibly. Up for more ‘Bake Off’ fun? Check out our ‘Great British Bake Off’ top trumps.

Tags: Ashleigh Arnott, bbc1, cake, drinking game, eating game, The Great British Bake Off, top trumps, TV