Reality TV News
Celebrity Big Brother launch: As it happened
By Frances Taylor
© Channel 5
Ah. So here we are again.
The Big Brother house has been Hoovered, the Diary Room has had a lick of paint and Emma Willis has bought a new frock.
Tonight, a whole new bunch ofdesperate fame-hungry celebrities will be waving their way down the aisle and over to the slidey doors of doom as they enter this series of Celebrity Big Brother.
Paul Daniels? Maybe. White Dee? Possibly. Someone we've literally never heard of from a soap? Definitely.
Tune into Channel 5 from 9pm with Digital Spy, as we watch the CBB circus roll into town...
The Big Brother house has been Hoovered, the Diary Room has had a lick of paint and Emma Willis has bought a new frock.
Tonight, a whole new bunch of
Paul Daniels? Maybe. White Dee? Possibly. Someone we've literally never heard of from a soap? Definitely.
Tune into Channel 5 from 9pm with Digital Spy, as we watch the CBB circus roll into town...
23:13Thanks for joining Digital Spy, and remember - don't have nightmares. G'night!
23:13So, did you recognise all of the housemates? Most of them? Three of them? None of them? We have to admit, it doesn't look great. But the main thing is, there's potential. And who knows what the next four weeks will hold...
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23:10Anyway, as quickly as she popped up, Emma's disappeared! And that's the end of that...
23:10RYLAN'S TEETH ALERT!
23:09We don't think Dee's going to last 24 minutes keeping this up, let alone 24 hours.
23:08They're really making Dee work for her dosh, aren't they?
23:07Is Dee being royal going to result in a "Chantelle pretending to be Paris Hilton" type scenario, where after the show she sort of becomes what she was pretending to be?
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23:06Channel 5, you have outdone yourselves. And not, repeat not, in a good way. Here's 'The Duchess'...
23:05Emma's eye thing is really freaking us out.
22:58"We already know each other!" "Who are you?". This is terrible! Was Gary really cleared by proper medical professional people to be on CBB?
22:57This really does not seem cool. He has literally no idea where he is or what's going on, and cannot recollect the fact that Emma just asked him three questions. Is this...OK...?!
22:55Although, fair play, he's 70. Which means he's one of the oldest things to ever enter Celebrity Big Brother, alongside Jim Davidson's sense of humour.
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22:55Has he been up to much in the past 20 years? The last time we saw Gary was on Family Guy.
22:54He's OD'd on cocaine, and has a real talent for remembering dates apparently. He's also happiest when he's "breathing and eating".
22:53Point Break! Lethal Weapon! Hold onto your hats, it's Gary Busey!
22:53Eek, it's the final housemate!
22:51Frenchy actually makes Courtney Stodden look like Kate Middleton.
22:51You won't be surprised to discover that her Wikipedia page says she has starred in "6 adult films" - one of which is called 'Milf School'. Nuff said.
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22:50At this point, we do have to give a massive shout out to Rock of Love, Bret Michaels and his ludicrous wigs and bandana combos. 'Frenchy' was a contestant, and that show was bloody wicked. As was Flavour of Love.
22:49"Obviously, I love cock". Oh dear Lord. And she looks exactly like Donatella Versace.
22:48No, we've never heard of her either. It's Angelique 'Frenchy' Morgan. Umm..
22:41But this man has won an Emmy for flip's sake. AN EMMY.
22:41Leslie's done communal living and describes himself as "damaged goods". He's also unaware that he's currently outdoors, and is scared of farting in the house.
22:40Now that YouTube is "a thing", we have less and less sympathy for Americans who go into CBB and have never seen it before.
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22:38It's Will & Grace's Leslie Jordan! He's a wee 4' 11" and says he "fell out of his mother's womb and landed in her high heels. And I've been on the prance ever since." Amazing.
22:37White Dee = The Governess from ITV's The Chase. Seriously, Google it.
22:35Right, the housemates are gathered at the sofas to hear the latest White Dee news. Thrilling doesn't even begin to describe it.
22:34Argh, everyone's talking over each other so much we can't hear a ruddy word.
22:33"Stephanie owns a Yorkshire Poodle called Charlie". Well that sentence was quite possibly the biggest waste of oxygen. Ever.
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22:32And it turns out that it was Spencer who told producers to get in touch with his sis about starring on the show. Is she sure that her brother actually likes her?
22:31Fact fans! In 2006, Stephanie was arrested for shoplifting $1,300 worth of stuff from a store in Honolulu.
22:30MIC's Lucy Watson showed Stephanie videos of CBB where housemates were electrocuted and made to eat donkey balls. And she still said yes.
22:29The Pratts are turning Celebrity Big Brother into a family business. Following brother Spencer, it's Stephanie!
22:24It doesn't pay to be last into CBB. The crowd are more narky as they've been in the rain for longer AND there's going to be no Champagne (although it's probably fizzy wine) left.
22:23"Oh, Geordie Shore. Is that the Newcastle programme?" - we love Kellie already!
22:23One of the main characteristics of Ricci is that he's "known for his incredibly short shorts". Everyone's got to have a hobby, right?
22:20He's after Mila Kunis or Eva Mendes in the CBB house. Um, well there's Lauren Goodger. She's just as good, right?
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22:19It's Ricci Guarnaccio! And the sixth word out of the former Geordie Shore star's mouth was "mortal".
22:18Celebrities are just like us really. Put in a room of strangers, and stilted, awkward chit chat will follow.
22:17Strangest celebrity fact so far: Edele buys Lauren Goodger's range of eyelashes.
22:17Did Edele, B*Witched sister Keavy and brother Boyzone's Shane (who's in the crowd!) ever form a supergroup? If not, we're calling Louis Walsh with that plan first thing in the morning. He's going to be all bloody over that.
22:16Edele gives us an update on her menstrual cycle before heading up the stairs. Well, going into CBB is one terrible decision she can't blame on the weatherman. But hey, c'est la vie. (We're VERY sorry)
22:14It's SO sad to hear that The Big Reunion trashed B*Witched. That show might have given us so much, but it's taken away a bit of our soul.
22:13So, um, the B*Witched reunion went well then. Here's Edele Lynch!
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22:12Ah right, we're actually going through with this Solihull Duchess thing? Cripes.
22:08Plus, his whole raison d'être is watching TV, which means a) he must have seen CBB before so b) why the hell would he agree to do this?
22:07George just seems like an excited labrador at the prospect of being off the sofa and in the fresh air.
22:06He raised money for charity by going on a date "with a fan". We would never have guessed he had any, let alone enough to bid for him in an auction.
22:05Was there a mix-up in the casting? Going by this calibre, surely George would have been more suitable for Big Brother, while Helen Wood should have been on Celebrity Big Brother?
22:04Leon and June must have been busy, so we've got that annoying lad George, who sits between his beslippered mum and exasperated stepdad on Channel 4's Gogglebox.
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22:03When it comes to this next housemate, this really is television eating itself. What the heck is going on here?
22:02Speaking of that sex tape, we can't help think Goodger had something to do with it. "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about" to quote Oscar Wilde. Not sure those two will ever be mentioned in the same breath again.
22:01Doing anything in a pub car park is pretty naff, but getting engaged to Mark Wright in one is not cool.
22:00Loz is "s**tting herself", while we give her 48-hours before she's blubbing in the Diary Room.
21:59Pouty of face, big of boob, she of six-second sex tape. "It's going to be absolute banter". Sometimes, we hate what society has become...
21:57The Only Way is Elstree. It's Lauren Goodger.
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21:57Was that enough time to get a cup of tea / coffee / Tequila [delete as appropriate]? 'Cos we're back.
21:52Awh, Kellie and Audley have had a good catch up, while he wastes no time in grilling her. And planned or unplanned, Claire and Kellie have come as twins.
21:50Unlike some 'celebrities' entering CBB tonight (trust us, there's worse to come), at least Audley is famous for having a ring-full of talent.
21:49He's not asking much from his fellow housemates. He basically wants everyone to have good toilet seat karma and wash their hands. What an odd thing to say on live TV...
21:48The most interesting thing about Audley, according to him, is his big feet. And he's stolen one of Snoop Dogg/Lion's suits.
21:46It's gold medal-winning, MBE-earning punchy man Audley Harrison going in next!
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21:45Poor Kellie seems genuinely terrified and nervous. And asks James Jordan if he's "that dance coach". Ouch.
21:44Kellie gets the best reaction out of the lot so far this evening! Although we can't help but think Emma is being a bit of a cow by saying it will all be "fun and games". Not like every other series of CBB then, which have all been "stressful and traumatic"?
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21:42Up next is Kellie Maloney - formerly known as boxing promoter Frank!
21:37OK, so Dee - or Deirdre, the Duchess of Solihull, 21st in line to the throne - is off for a "regal revamp" as she has to convince the next three housemates - who are all American - that she's genuine royalty for 24 hours. This is gonna be ace.
21:35Well this is a terrifying vision of the future. White Dee becomes a member of the Royal family, living in Buckingham Palace with Fungi.
21:32Only four housemates in, and Dee is called to the Diary Room. And it's had a makeover. Three words: gold, gold and gold.
21:31Oooh, twisty time is here.
21:31"The king has arrived!" he declares. Is this guy for real? Eugh. And Dee says she "had a feeling" he would be in CBB. So basically she just read The Mirror earlier today.
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21:29OK, we had never heard David speak before. And after 2 and a half minutes, we want to push him down the CBB stairs. Kelly, seriously, WHAT are you thinking?
21:28Even a character from Hollyoaks would look at David's backstory and deem it implausible. But, and this is all true, he used to be a Royal Marines Commando serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia, he was 'Tornado' on Sky1's Gladiators, he's engaged to a gorgeous model and earlier this year, he crashed said van carrying said load of dead badgers after falling asleep at the wheel.
21:27David McIntosh. So, so, so, so modest.
21:26And on we go! Eek. Kelly Brook, turn off your television NOW. And keep it off for the next few months.
21:25The former Emmerdale actress also has two TV Quick Awards under her belt. Alan Partridge, eat your heart out.
21:24Claire can't stop saying the words 'bitch' and 'super bitch'. Anyway, she also says that she'd be frustrated by housemates who 'claim off the system' and is a grumpy old woman. Place your bets, people...
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21:21Here's the obligatory soap 'star' - Claire King!
21:18We have also just noticed that CBB has made the very brilliant decision to ditch the name tags, so no-one has a clue who anyone is. Amazing. Bring on the awks.
21:16"How was your stay?" - what the heck? What's so funny? Eh? EH?
21:15Hmm, we're beginning to think that maybe his former Strictly partner Vanessa Feltz persuaded him to do it and told him that doing CBB was amazing. Just to get her sweet revenge.
21:14Has James come in fancy dress as Jason Gardiner or summat?
21:13If he can't handle the odd crap comment from Craig Revel Horwood, how the hell will he cope with CBB?
21:12James does promise a glimpse of buttock if he gets drunk. Right Dee, crack out the Lambrinis. Pronto.
21:12It's Strictly Come Dancing's James Jordan, who obviously couldn't bear the thought of an autumn without starring on a reality TV show. So after getting the boot from BBC One, he's come to the dark side.
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21:11And we're off again. Oh no. James, James, James...
21:10Love her or hate her, we'll eat our JSA form if Dee doesn't do well in this show.
21:10Emma was goading her to kick right off, and Dee was having none of it. Just give it 5 mins, Ems.
21:09With her (rumoured) wad of cash she's received for this, we hope she's bought a supportive bra or five. No-one wants to see her do a Denise Welsh. Shudder.
21:07And to the tune of Street Life. Classy, CBB. Classy.
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21:07White Dee! Fresh from Magaluf and pissing off David Cameron (yes, really) she's spoiling for a fight two minutes into CBB. She's said the F-word about 57 times, says she's going to miss the fags and tea and comes out to a wall of booing.
21:06Woah, no messing. It's straight up with the first housemate. And it's...
21:05It's the very awesome Emma Willis! We haven't seen her for a whole weekend, we were beginning to get withdrawal symptoms. Although she does seem to have forgotten what programme she's presenting. "Celebrity Big......Brother!"
21:04Here. We. Go.
21:04Gooood evening CBB fans. Before we get on with the main event tonight, we just have to say... How flipping awesome does Gotham look?! Ryan - sorry, Ben McKenzie - we've missed you on our tellybox.
