(Translated by https://www.hiragana.jp/)
Samantha Grossman - TIME
The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20141216111217/http://time.com/author/samantha-grossman/
TIME Newsfeed animals

We Are All This Pug Named Doug Whose Only Real Christmas Wish Is Food

Watch his very relatable parody of Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You"

I don’t want a lot for Christmas, Mariah Carey coos in her hit song “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” There is, however, just one thing she needs.

That one thing, of course, is you. (Well, not you you, but you get it.) Not everyone can relate to Mariah’s song — but we feel confident that everyone can relate to this new version performed by Doug the Pug. All he wants for Christmas is food. Tacos, pizza, cookies, Chex Mix, doughnuts, Doug wants it all. And that’s all he wants. It’s all he’s ever wanted.

TIME Newsfeed viral

Watch All of the Year’s Funniest, Scariest and Cutest Viral Videos In Seven Minutes

Dogs, dancing, daredevils and more in 2014's greatest viral moments

As we all know, YouTube is just a big, scary, overwhelming jumble of videos, some of which go viral in a major way (see: the Ice Bucket Challenge videos, the Apparently Kid videos, etc.)

To help make things a bit more manageable for all of us, director and video editor Luc Bergeron went through all the year’s viral videos — 233, to be exact, — and then crammed all the best moments into one digestible supercut.

It’s been quite a year. There were cute animals. There were dumb animals. There were daredevils who risked their lives just to make a cool video. There was an impressive amount of dancing. There was awkward kissing. There was ice being dumped on people’s head. And so, so much more.

Enjoy.

 

TIME Newsfeed Television

Look Back at a Year in Conan With This Completely Ridiculous Season 4 Supercut

A whole season condensed into five very silly minutes

Well, looks like Conan O’Brien has once again continued with his annual year-end tradition of making a totally outrageous supercut compiling the best moments from his talk show, Conan. Today, Team Coco debuted the fourth installment of this tradition: a five-minute wrap-up of season 4’s best moments.

This video has everything: weird songs, weird skits, weird dancing, weird interviews with guest stars, and more weirdness. It features everyone from Jennifer Lawrence to Snoop Dogg to Betty White to Will Ferrell.

Oh, did we mention it’s totally ridiculous?

TIME Entertainment Television

Stephen Colbert’s 9 Truthiest Colbert Report Quips

"The Colbert Report" Salutes The Troops
Scott Gries—Picturegroup/Comedy Central

From the offbeat to the downright offensive, a look back at the conservative pundit's greatest hits

Stephen Colbert’s eponymous alter ago—known for his hyper-conservative views and aggressively misinformed opinions—loves to talk. A lot. So much that it can be easy, at times, to miss some of his brilliantly absurd quips.

So, to honor the faux pundit as he prepares for the last episode of The Colbert Report, we rounded up nine of his best lines—some that you probably remember, and others that you might have missed. From the offbeat to the downright offensive, here’s a look back at Colbert’s greatest hits.

1. “Yesterday was full of losses for America, the greatest of which was beloved civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks. Which brings us to tonight’s word: overrated.”

2. “I don’t trust books—they’re all fact, no heart.”

3. “George Walker Bush: great president, or the greatest president?”

4. “Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news… at you.”

5. “…Which brings me to the No. 1 threat to America… stripper bears.”

6. “Folks, the skinnification of the American jeanscape has gone too far.”

7. “I can’t stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade … which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.”

8. “Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.”

9. “Equations are the devil’s sentences.”

And, for good measure, here’s a quote from the out-of-character version of Stephen Colbert, when asked to describe his conservative alter ego: “I think of him as a well-intentioned, poorly informed, high-status idiot.”

TIME Newsfeed celebrity

Watch Taylor Swift and Beyoncé Dance Together at a Justin Timberlake Concert

Of course, it was when Jay Z was on stage performing "Holy Grail"

Tay-Tay and Queen Bey apparently spent a whole bunch of quality time together this weekend. First, they partied together at Taylor’s 25th birthday bash Friday night. Then they got together Sunday night to attend Justin Timberlake’s concert at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn.

Obviously, magic things happened.

Reigning King of Brooklyn Jay Z joined JT on stage to perform their hit “Holy Grail”:

Tay went nuts during this song and turned around to sing and dance with Beyoncé, who was right behind her:

Later in the evening, Swift was also spotted doing some kind of hula dance with the Haim sisters:

Oh, Tay, starting off your 25th year exactly as we’d expect.

TIME Newsfeed celebrity

Here Are 25 Birthday Wishes For Taylor Swift On Her 25th Birthday

Taylor Swift Lives In Shanghai
Taylor Swift performs at the Mercedes-Benz Arena on May 30, 2014 in Shanghai, China. ChinaFotoPress / Getty Images

Our well-wishes for the "Shake It Off" singer include some new crop tops and plenty of time with her besties

As you probably know from the title of her wildly successful album, 1989, Taylor Swift was born in the year 1989. More specifically, she was born on December 13, 1989, making her 25 years old. Congrats on hitting the quarter-century mark, Tay! Proud of you. You’ve accomplished more in your 25 years than the rest of us will accomplish in our whole lives.

To kick off the birthday festivities, we’ve come up with 25 well-wishes for the “Blank Space” singer. Here’s what we hope for Tay-Tay as she embarks on her 25th year:

  1. To continue shaking it off when the haters hate hate hate hate hate.
  2. A new kitten for her current cats Olivia Benson and Meredith to play with.
  3. That the media still stop accusing all her friends of dating her (this is actually her special request.)
  4. A thousand awards shows where she can dance to her heart’s content.
  5. A belly button (since she maybe/probably doesn’t have one.)
  6. A bad guy to make good for a weekend.
  7. A compass to help her get Out of the Woods.
  8. Steve Carell serenading her with his rendition of “Shake It Off.”
  9. A super fun girls’ weekend getaway in the Dominican Republic with her besties Lorde, Karlie Kloss and Sarah Hyland.
  10. A new all-purpose crop top.
  11. A new, special sleet and garbage-resistant crop top that she can wear over her winter coat in New York City.
  12. Ten new cookie recipes so she can change things up when she gives all her friends Christmas cookies this year.
  13. A day even bigger than Elaine’s Big Day.
  14. A more official, public best friendship with mutual admirer Kendrick Lamar.
  15. BFF bracelets with Kendrick Lamar to seal the deal.
  16. Also, BFF bracelets with her BFF Ed Sheeran.
  17. That whoever was mean to her from the song “Mean” has something bad happen to them. (Just kidding, Tay isn’t vindictive like that.)
  18. A brand new banjo so she can reminisce about her old country days.
  19. A brand new drum machine so she can celebrate her new pop days.
  20. That all of us will remember her standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe.
  21. That she gets to be tourism ambassador of Bali so she can escape New York and go somewhere actually nice.
  22. That she never gets this, uh, adventurous with hairstyles ever again.
  23. That all her relationships will remain peaceful and free of Bad Blood.
  24. A play date with her friend Lena Dunham’s dog Lamby.
  25. To just keep dancing like she’s 22. Even though she’s 25.

Party hard this year, birthday girl. You earned it.

TIME Newsfeed Television

Watch Jimmy Fallon Sing Hilarious Hannukah Songs Written by Fans on Twitter

"All I do is spin, spin, spin, no matter what. Got dreidels on my mind, Manischewitz in my cup."

This week, Jimmy Fallon decided to play a little game and ask his fans to tweet song lyrics re-imagined as Hannukah tunes:

Well, the people really delivered. Watch as he sings his favorites on The Tonight Show with the help of the Roots. For example: “Hold me Kosher, tiny dancer and “Ra ra Hannukah, ra ma Menorah, Ga Ga yarmulke, don’t want your Christmas.”

Now, some of these lyrics reference Jewish holidays that are not Hannukah, but we’re feeling generous so we’ll let it slide.

TIME Newsfeed Travel

This Is The Number One Travel Destination for 2015

Surise at the East River with jetty and the Manhattan skyline.
A jetty in Long Island City, Queens, with the Manhattan skyline in the background. Getty Images

"Queens, New York’s largest borough, is also quickly becoming its hippest, but most travelers haven't clued in… yet."

Travel guide book publisher Lonely Planet has unveiled its list of the best U.S. travel destinations for the coming year, and the winner is… Queens, New York.

“With microbreweries springing up, new boutique hotels, a reinvented seaside at Rockaway, a world-class art scene, and a truly global food culture, 2015 is the year to try Queens,” Lonely Planet explains on its site. Home to more than two million people — which would make it the fourth largest city in America if it were its own city — Queens is “finally emerging from the shadows of Manhattan to take its place as one of New York’s most fascinating boroughs.”

Some of the borough’s many tourist destinations include the Queens Museum and the Museum of the Moving Image, the boardwalk at Rockaway and tons of restaurants, Lonely Planet says.

Here’s the full list of top travel destinations:

1. Queens, New York

2. Western South Dakota

3. New Orleans

4. Colorado River region

5. North Conway, New Hampshire

6. Indianapolis

7. Greenville, South Carolina

8. Oakland, California

9. Duluth, Minnesota

10. Mount Shasta region, California

Read more at Lonely Planet.

TIME Newsfeed Music

Listen to a Snippet of Rihanna’s New Song ‘Kiss It Better’

Rihanna
Jordan Strauss—Invision/AP

The singer shared a 15-second tease on her Instagram

Desperately, anxiously awaiting Rihanna’s upcoming album? Well, the singer has graciously shared a little something — albeit a very small, brief something — to tide you over.

RiRi posted a 15-second teaser video, featuring guitarist Nuno Bettencourt, offering a quick look at one of the album’s songs. Check it out:

phuck wit nuno

A video posted by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

Songwriter John Glass posted the same video, revealing that he wrote the tune — which is called “Kiss It Better” — and Jeff Bhasker produced it.

Two weeks ago, Rihanna teased another song, which featured her vocals a bit more prominently.

Oh, RiRi. You sure know how to titillate us.

Read More: The Top 10 Songs of 2014

TIME Newsfeed Television

This Unaired SNL Sketch Perfectly Spoofs All Those Pointless VH1 Countdowns

The hilarious digital short ranks the '100 Greatest Guys'

For some reason, Saturday Night Live decided not to air this ridiculously spot-on VH1 spoof, just like they decided not to air a topical sketch about Ferguson from last week.

This digital short, called “100 Greatest Guys,” perfectly captures the tone of all those VH1 countdowns — you know, the ones that somehow suck you in for hours even though you totally know you should turn off the TV and go read a book or something. It’s obviously not as topical or timely as the Ferguson sketch, but it’s still confusing why SNL decided to cut it, because it’s so spot-on.

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