Good morning! Prepare yourself for the latest in my series of DRAKE TAKES™.

So you know how Nicki Minaj went on some television show and was like, I absolutely do not want to fuck Drake? The subtext being that their consistent roles in each other's music videos as partners (bride and groom, lapdancer and lapdancee) is somehow a prolonged public foreplay playing out as part of their respective careers, and that every so often they have to comment on the validity of said foreplay? I mean, sure, it could be. BUT.

That is the total opposite of the reason I, and I think you, love to watch this Drake and Nicki Minaj relationship play out. It's the whole Frankie and Annette/Fred and Ginger/Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan kind of thing. It's erotic friend fiction, as Tina Belcher might say, playing make-believe with two real people in a way that combines all the things you know about them (Drake is sad and thirsty, Nicki is hilarious and sexy) with all the things you don't and probably never will (their sex lives, you pervs). And that's all we need from them!! We don't need to know how real or how performative it is; all we need is what they want to give and a few lolzy gifs every now and then.

Did I just blow your mind?