It’s weird to ask Clinton and Trump to bicker viciously on Wednesday over who needs to be jailed and who is a sexual predator and then follow it up with an annual Catholic fundraiser dinner for needy children

The terrifying thing is many of us thought we’d seen the back of the likes of Melania. But her type is back, draped over American politics like a bikini model at a Birmingham NEC car show 

I’ve tried to find Dylan godly, really tried, but to the unloving ear he sounds like a man with a bronchial infection arduously describing his favourite commute

If the wife stays she’s a doormat or a schemer, or a Lady Macbeth egging on his wicked behaviour. Yet if she leaves and files for divorce she’s a gold-digger who's out to wreck a good family in the courts

October also sees the start of Black History Month, an opportunity for Caucasian 20-something eternal students with names like Crispin Bunter-Wilmthorpe to handcuff themselves to the gates of Chessington World of Adventures after taking exception to the shocking level of cultural appropriation in the Penguins of Madagascar Treetop Hoppers ride

Believing in the innate empathetic, harmonious nature of all women is like believing all gay men will, when push comes to shove, be able to help you with interior design. At best you’re an idiot and at worse a completely offensive one

Remember when millions of people with no meaningful view on the EU referendum heard a multi-millionaire West Hampstead mega-star called Emma Thompson call Britain “a misery-laden cake-fuelled grey old island”? This is Whedon's Emma Thompson moment

It’s not just London doing badly in the liveability list, but other European cities such as Zurich, Geneva, Frankfurt, Berlin, Oslo, Luxembourg, Brussels, Paris, Rome and Lisbon

The Labour leader is suggesting a ban on sexist after-work drinking. But how on earth do we police that? Should all after-work groups, by law, contain at least two women or at least one gender fluid person identifying as female? 

'The Matter of The North’ comes at a time when London has adored itself to a point of near self-destruction

I thought of a joke here about Jady Duarte’s Bolt-In-My-Bed pictures spreading quicker than her ankles, but this would lead to me spending at least 72 hours fielding abuse from whining 19-year-old offendatrons claiming 'slut-shaming'

The night tube sounds like a perfect snapshot of modern London – dark, problematic, sometimes exhilarating, ever-changing and forever awake

If men and women are equal, why when Orlando Bloom’s genitalia is exposed on the internet is there a distinct dearth of concern for his feelings?

Women, not men, propel the cult of motherhood and spread the frightening notion that life will never be truly complete without a baby, and that no career plaudit can compare

Heavy D from Storagers Hunt UK claimed, without a flicker of irony in his pre-show interview, that his personal hero was Another Level’s Dane Bowers. This is the kind of logic one can’t argue with

BHS workers have been 'consciously uncoupled' from their pensions, as Green threw lavish parties attended by the likes of Gwynneth Paltrow and Leonardo DiCaprio