At last, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, presumably the last film in the legendary nine-entry Skywalker Saga that began in 1977, is here! And it’s bad! Turns out J.J. Abrams was a hack all along and we all owe Rian Johnson an apology. But whatever, despite what critics say, tons of people are still going to see this movie. And they’ve already watched the previous films to prepare. But in case you haven’t…

Watch these (Star Wars) movies before The Rise of Skywalker, conveniently streaming on Disney+.

A New Hope

Forget its monumental impact for a second, imagine a world where all we had was Star Wars, not Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope, but just Star Wars. What a cool little sketch of a movie just bursting with creativity your imagination wants to fill in later. Actually fleshing out the lore has made the franchise simultaneously bigger and smaller.

The Empire Strikes Back

There’s so much great stuff to talk about in Empire, from Lando to Yoda to Boba Fett to the Han/Leia romance to the Hoth battle to the darker and more sophisticated tone. But honestly nothing is funnier and better than Darth Vader sitting at a dinner table like it’s no big deal.

Return of the Jedi

The weakest of the original trilogy but still a fun movie with a lot of puppets and space cocaine energy. Jabba and Emperor Sheev Palpatine compete to be the grossest big bad of them all.

The Phantom Menace

We already wrote a whole feature talking about the infamous and complex legacy of The Phantom Menace and its effect on fandom all these years later. So check it out because we’re not rehashing it here.

Attack of the Clones

Even by prequel standards Attack of the Clones is so bad. The awkward romance mixed with burgeoning fascism and sand takes. Wholly CGI sets that look increasingly surreal in how fake they are. Yoda hopping around like an idiot. Still, Jango Fett has arguably more going on than his clone son (or even The Mandalorian) ever did. So that’s something.

Revenge of the Sith

While executed terribly, Revenge of the Sith’s story about the fall of Anakin Skywalker and the Republic in general into the Darth Vader and Empire we remember is at least interesting in theory. This movie also has the absolutely best Emperor Sheev Palpatine content.

The Force Awakens

I’m glad the Rise of Skywalker finally has people noticing the flaws in J.J. Abrams’ take on Star Wars that were there from the start. The Force Awakens has a great cast and tons of dynamic energy, but it’s totally hollow and just riffing on your excitement of seeing Star Wars stuff again without adding much of substance. Only Adam Driver as Kylo Ren is great without qualification.

The Last Jedi

Rian Johnson wrote and directed a moving, funny, rich, thoughtful, beautiful, character-driven, action-packed Star Wars movie and thesis on our relationship to Star Wars as a whole. It was too brilliant for this world.