Fifteen years ago, Sherry Hoppen was a mom of three, a ministry leader in her church, and a volunteer at her local pregnancy center when her younger brother was killed in a drunk driving accident. The tragedy triggered her own slow spiral into alcoholism—one that nearly destroyed her marriage and her life.

Over the next decade, Hoppen evolved from a casual drinker to an addict who barely recognized herself, always secretly drinking or causing scenes at family holidays due to her dependence. Like many who struggle, she thought she could “fix” herself and moderate her drinking, even as she daily hid vodka-filled water bottles inside her purse.

“I was scared to tell anybody because I knew if I did, my drinking days were over,” Hoppen said. “And I didn’t want people to see [our family] fail.”

Her husband was a church elder, she led the children’s church choir, and they were beloved businesspeople in their small Michigan community.

“I couldn’t imagine letting anybody see what was really going on,” she said. “I didn’t want to go to rehab because … everybody knows if you go to rehab, including my kids.”

It took Hoppen four more years after recognizing her dependence to commit to sobriety. Her story as a churchgoing suburban mom concealing alcohol addiction is increasingly common.

In 2023, around 9 percent of adult women in the US struggled with alcoholism—about 11.7 million women. This means that in an average church of 500 people, at least 20 women attending likely struggle with alcohol dependence as well.

If you add in women who might admit to being uncomfortable with their relationship with alcohol, it’s a lot more. This discomfort, often called “gray-area drinking,” is the kind of hush-hush thing women Google on incognito mode in the middle of the night.

Alcohol abuse is rarely discussed with or even known by a woman’s closest friends or spouse. Most of ...