Day Two of the New York Trial began with a discussion of whether El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago violated the gag order dropped upon him by Judge Juan Merchan. In terms of actual reality, in which words mean what they really mean, he tore the gag order to ribbons and dropped the pieces into the East River long ago. But even the most cosmic of liars deserves his day in court, so the forms and procedures must be followed. Which doesn’t mean that the judge’s patience is required to be limitless, or that he is required to follow defense counsel all the way into MAGA Neverland.

The argument over the gag order demonstrated quite convincingly that to be the former president*’s lawyer is to enter into his conspiracy against reality and common sense. It requires you to present arguments that make little or no sense. It requires you to sound like a jackass. It requires you, eventually, to get the judge all honked off at you. From The Guardian:

First off, however, Juan Merchan heard arguments about a request from prosecutors to hold Trump in contempt of court. They said he repeatedly violated a gag order barring him from publicly attacking witnesses in the trial. Todd Blanche, Trump’s lawyer, argued that his client was just responding to political attacks with some of the alleged violations, not flouting the judge’s order. He further argued that seven of the instances cited by the prosecution did not violate the gag order because they were reposts of other people’s content on social media. “Reposting an article from a news site or a news program,” he said, “we don’t believe are a violation of the gag order.”

Hmmm. Intriguing.

Merchan asked whether there was any case law on it. Blanche replied: “I don’t have any case laws, your honor, it’s just common sense.”

“Common sense,” of course, would have had the defendant in the clink ages ago. This kind of statement explains why I am not a judge. Instead, Merchan let Blanche have a little more rope.

As Blanche continued to repeat that claim, the judge rebuked him. “Mr. Blanche, you’re losing all credibility, I have to tell you right now,” Merchan said. “You’re losing all credibility with the court. Is there any other argument you want to make?”

The defendant, of course, walked out of court when it adjourned and beat feet for the now-familiar bank of microphones for the daily Whine ’n’ Lies session.

Trump addressed the media in the hallway outside the courtroom, complaining that it was “totally freezing” inside, per pool. Asked about his thoughts on the gag order, Trump said it was “totally unconstitutional,” adding:

I’m not allowed to talk, but people are allowed to talk about me.

Because those “people” are by and large not convicted or indicted criminals.

I’d love to say everything on my mind.

There’s not enough whiskey in the world...

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Charles P. Pierce

Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.