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Milk & Money (1996)
An 86-minute cascade of serendipity
David drops out of medical school with one year to go, and suddenly he's a magnet for beautiful women behaving mysteriously. The one thing we expect most from a film is subverted: the protagonist encounters no challenging obstacles nor struggles to overcome (except perhaps his own bewilderment at how things keep working out). I don't care for straightforward comedies, and the movie has the perfect amount of absurdity and off-kilter dialogue to make me laugh while still telling a coherent story. These things seem to be the main complaints others have about it, and yet they're exactly what make it so unique and make me love it so much.
After quitting school, David orders a hot dog plain and the vendor guides him to have all the toppings. From then on his life is barely in his control and he just goes with it until he finds the life he seems to be looking for. A bookstore clerk reveals having dropped out of medical school three years earlier and experiencing similar luck in meeting women, suggesting it may be some sort of "cosmic consolation prize". In real life we may encounter rare moments of serendipity, but the funny and fantastical trajectory of David's fate shows us a whole world of such possibilities that we can only dream of.
As a romcom, Milk & Money is unusual for predominantly being a male's fantasy (without resorting to vulgar 'sex comedy'), but at least it's not entirely one sided. Anyway, to me it's as much about the bigger picture of whimsical, starry-eyed fate and embracing enjoyment of the universe. It's a delight to watch it unfold. The thought that some viewers resent a fictional character who finds success without effort only makes the film's subversion even funnier.
The film is also noteworthy for being the only one of my all-time top 10 movies that doesn't feature death/violence/gore. I guess peaceful wackiness is difficult to do well!
Sátántangó (1994)
Both tedious and intriguing
Sátántangó came to my attention when it was around 23rd on RateYourMusic's all-time top films chart. I expected watching such a long film to be tedious, and it was, but it's also intriguing at times. It depicts post-revolution Hungary as being almost as bleak as The Road and it's difficult to understand. I can't buy into the gimmick that all this put me into the characters' shoes. After all, the biggest problems in my life while watching were that I had to pause the movie to go to the toilet, and sleep issues meant I nodded off twice. Given the film is somewhat non-linear and incomprehensible, it wasn't an issue to just go back and watch the bits I slept through later.
Several interesting elements had me thinking about the film for a long time afterwards. The first thing to stand out to me was just how long some of the characters are on screen for before you see their face completely. In particular, it's only once you see the young girl's face front on that you see she looks suitably like a country simpleton, which seems like an important thing to notice after what she did to the cat. Combined with the heartbreaking words narrated about her, I felt I could forgive her and make some much-needed peace with a very messed up part of the film.
About the only highlight in the characters' lives is alcohol, and the highlight for me was the pub dance scene which the actors were actually drunk for. Especially because one of them spends ten minutes trying to keep a cheese breadstick balanced on his forehead. Ultimately, while I generally dislike films this overly arty and pretentious, I found enough redeeming qualities to make it a worthwhile watch.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
The worst film ever in my opinion
I suppose we should all have an answer when someone asks what the worst/your most hated film is. The Sixth Sense is that film for me. Perhaps it's relevant that I felt more immature than most of my friends who were hooked by it at the time. I actually avoided all spoilers and saw it a year or so later on free-to-air TV when I was about 16. It was marketed as a thriller/horror, but it came across as a boring, depressing drama full of crying to the point that I didn't give it my full attention. I kept the TV on but I stopped caring long before the ending was revealed.
If I'd first seen it as an adult, I might have a slightly different story, but it's too late. The nature of The Sixth Sense means that it only has one chance to be effective and repeat viewings are laughable. When films grow on you and you enjoy little things you didn't discern the first time around, they're the best. So The Sixth Sense truly is the opposite of the best. It's a film where the more you watch it, the more you notice things wrong with it, until that's practically all you can focus on.
It'd be understandable if only bits such as the restaurant scene came across as unnatural. But to me, the most unnatural element is the way Cole's mother treats him. She's surprisingly curt and unmotherlike considering his young age, which only helps to disrupt any suspension of disbelief I had in what I'm seeing. The couple of gross-out/scare moments thrown in are out of place and an insult to horror fans. Such paltry crumbs make me feel that a movie is just scoring marketing points and the real target audience is my wallet or advertising viewership. It's as if they think a sappy drama with a few horror moments resolves to a gritty thriller on average in the audience's mind. I may be mature now, but I still absolutely loathe sappy dramas and these wrongs do a great job of making the film even that much worse.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)
The laughs are simply too few and too far between
An extremely poor introduction to Mystery Science Theater 3000 that I only lasted part way through when I was younger. It put me off checking the show out any further until recently. I don't know why it was passed off as a movie when it's just another episode of the show. As a TV show, MST3K is a cute way to watch silly old movies, and it's not so bad if the episodes are hit-and-miss.
But to actually rate this as a movie in itself... it's basically equivalent to having a few friends come over, sit on your couch and make a bunch of dumb toilet jokes, 5% of which you find funny. I have more tolerance as an adult and I'm able to sit through and enjoy a movie despite unfunny interruptions. This Island Earth was a groundbreaking and spectacular film in its day, and MST3K didn't rise to the occasion for their 'Movie' at all. The laughs are simply too few and too far between. They've done better, so perhaps they just needed to spend more time on this one.
Kamisama no pazuru (2008)
Apocalyptic quantum physics pitted against God, rock music and traditional Japanese sushi
Relatively lighthearted sci-fi based on a novel picked by the producer, and thus quite a departure from Takashi Miike's usual fare. God's Puzzle gets mileage out of particle accelerator doomsday fears. In fact, it was released just before the sensational headlines about the Large Hadron Collider, so it's unfortunate that it didn't get more attention.
The film particularly appeals to armchair physicists such as myself, but there's more to it than just that. When Miike was struggling to understand the physics in the novel, he came up with the idea to have the student run off overseas and leave his not-so-intellectual identical twin brother Motokazu to take his place for roll call. Not only does this create a reason for the physics to be explained in layman's terms, it also gives us a character who's primarily a sushi chef and a wannabe rockstar. It makes for some hilarious moments as he tries to get his head around quantum physics and the Big Bang. Other intriguing elements include a rollerblading security guard, website-style buttons the characters press to bring up daydreams and flashbacks, and a bowl-shaped dent in the wooden floor of Saraka's room. The latter seems to serve as a container for experiments to make you wonder what mysterious things she gets up to, but may also reflect her state of mind throughout the film.
The juxtaposition of science versus tradition is blatant. The spectacular but impractical particle accelerator towers over a rice field tended by an old lady. Motokazu and the reclusive genius Saraka team up on the research topic of creating a universe, which could arguably disprove the existence of God. But Saraka isn't interested in mere academics. With some unwitting help from his naive questions, she's on a path of destruction and capable of carrying out the experiment for real. All Motokazu has to stop her is his guitar and his sushi.
The first time I watched it I found some of the acting very jarring. There's one particular scene where Motokazu and Saraka are yelling at each other, and when they're done arguing, Motokazu keeps yelling because he's still so excited about what he's talking about. However, on subsequent viewings I enjoy the film more and more as I get to know it, and I appreciate the Japanese nuances.
Jamaica Inn (1939)
Absolutely charming
Hitchcock's Jamaica Inn strays from Daphne du Maurier's dark novel, instead resembling an Enid Blyton adventure with a body count. To some that's a deal-breaker, but for me it evokes all of the dated stories I read growing up. The scruffy smugglers and the squire with his outrageous eyebrows, Mary's determination to overcome them, and especially the gloomy atmosphere. It's all absolutely charming.
The shipwreck scenes are tense. The comic relief is on par with some of the best Hitchcock films. The squire mocks his guests and has his horse paraded into his dining room. Uncle Joss insists his wife carries Mary's luggage inside, only to then grab it himself and hurl it two thirds of the way up the stairs. What might've been a simple drama is turned into an entertaining caper deserving of cult film status. The one complaint I have is that O'Hara shrieking "Aunt Patience Aunt Patience" is as grating as nails on a chalkboard.