Chapter Text
Stepping inside felt kinda felt like walking into a bookshop, there was just this immediate sense of calmness that absorbed you as the smell of fresh books took over your senses, only this time it was the smell of crushed coffee beans and vanilla.
As the three made their way through the quaint establishment, Matty couldn't help but admire the golden fairy lights and green plastic vines that were delicately strung up around the ceiling. Soft music, which the boy recognised as the Cranberries, filled in the empty gaps between conversations along with the almost silent hiss of the coffee machines. Matty really liked the whole vibe of this place and wished he’d known of it sooner. He decided to take a mental note to ask Hann the name of it so he can come back and have a nose through the rather large shelf of old books he spotted in the corner.
They finally reached a small booth table hidden in the back corner, Matty slid in first with Adam taking the spot next to him and Ross sitting on the other side so he ended up facing the curly headed boy.
"So..." Ross began with a glance at his watch. "Where's this George guy?"
Matty reached across the table and grabbed Ross' wrist to have a look at the time for himself. Oh shit he thought as he glanced down at the watch, they’re like really late. All he could hope is that George hadn’t already been and gone, because as much as he loves his friends, he did not need to deal with a moody Hann for the rest of the day thank you very much. “Yeah we're what thirty odd minutes late and he's not even here yet.”
Ross rubbed at his temples as the other boy continued to fiddle with his watch, probably messing with the hands and making it the wrong time again. “fucking hell mate he’s worse than you.”
Matty was not having it and began to argue back that he wasn’t always late, even though he fully knew he was shit at time keeping. Just as their argument was about to reach sibling level of petty fights, Adam began to tell two to shut up but was interrupted but an unfamiliar voice.
"Adam mate how’ve you been? Sorry for being late i got caught up at work and then my phone decided to die on me which is just fucking perfect timing.”
The two boys stopped bickering and turned to watch Adam stand up with a smile and pull the boy into what Matty liked to call the CSBH. (The cis straight bro hug). “Don’t worry about it, we haven’t been here long so it’s all good.”
“Thank fuck for that.” The boy replied with a chuckle. “ I was worried you’d be gone by the time i got here.”
“Ah no way we would be gone, we’re always running at least ten minutes late because of this one.” Adam explained as he pointed towards Matty.
Suddenly, Ross pumped his arm in victory and pointed at Matty. “Ha see told you so, you’re always fucking late to everything.”
Matty rolled his eyes, and began to speak in a serious tone as he reached across the table to grab both of Ross’ hands. “Ross look at me, i’m so very sorry for being late all the time. It’s just that… I’m so tired from having crazy sex with your mum so it’s a bit hard to keep up these days.” He ended the sentence with a shrug and raised eyebrows, giving Ross his signature ‘oh well what can you do about it’ face.
Ross pulled this hands out of Matty’s grasp, clearly not finding the other boys joke entertaining, and flicked the curly headed lad directly in the middle of his forehead. “Matthew, kindly piss off. That wasn’t even funny, i think your humours fallen off.”
“Speak for yourself mate, he thought it was funny.” Matty replied as he rubbed at his head and looked towards the new addition to the group.
Now taking in the boy for the first time Matty noticed just how tall he was, thats just great he thought, another fucking giant to add to his collection he was apparently starting. Why was it that everyone he was friends with had to tower over him? All having tall mates did was make him stand out more, and don’t get him wrong he loved attention but it also made his five-eleven self look the height of a twelve year old.
The second thing Matty noticed was the t-shirt he was wearing that read “D.A.R.E to resist drugs and violence.” Looking at George he seemed quite cool; skinny jeans, tattoos, a leather jacket held in his hand. The boy had the whole edgy look down, and side note it was absolutely working for him, so Matty could only pray that he wasn’t serious about the whole resist drugs thing. Because to be honest, life without weed would be quite shit wouldn’t it.
George had a messy mop of brown curls on the top of his head that pushed slightly to the side and hung down to just around his eyes. The back and sides were shaved short which Matty thought was pretty cool and it got him thinking about some new hairstyles he could try out. Now that he was finally feeling more comfortable in his own fucking body there was a lot more room for experimenting with clothes and hair, maybe he’ll even go buy the pink flowery shirt he’s been eyeing up for a while.
He suddenly got snapped out of his wandering thoughts by Adam tapping his shoulder. “Matty you alright there mate? You kinda drifted for a second.”
“Yeah sorry was just thinking about that shirt.” He chuckled, knowing that he’s been driving Hann and Ross mad going on about for months.
“Bloody hell Matty, just buy the shirt mate. I guarantee you’ll look good in it.” Adam reassured. “Actually you know what, we’ll pop to the shop after here, my treat.”
“Thank god for that, hopefully you’ll stop wanking over it now.” Ross added with a huff.
Matty stuck his middle finger at Ross, what a prick he thought, and turned to lean on Adam. “Adam Hann, the love of my life, my knight in shining amour, however will i repay you for fulfilling my dreams.”
“You can start by putting a sock in it mate.” Adam replied with a smile, earning a laugh out of the other three boys.
Jokes aside and as stupid as it sounds, Adam really was Matty’s ‘knight in shining armour’. Adam has just always been there for him since the very beginning. He was the one who helped Matty come out to everyone, the one who helped him pick his name and the one who taught him to shave. And of course Ross also stuck by his side through everything, always quick to defend Matty in any situation and actually thrown a punch once or twice. However Hann was the first person he came out to, and not to sound soppy or anything but that definitely bonded the two of them. He can remember it so clearly in his head, and maybe that’s because it’s one of the best moments of his life or maybe because he was absolutely fucking bricking it.
(Flashback to 16 year old matty)
Shit, what have i done Matty thought as he stood in his bathroom, he looked into the mirror, a pair of old kitchen scissors were held tightly in his right hand and a clump of brown curls held in his left. If his mum saw him right now she’d probably throw a fit and shout so loud the penguins in fucking Antartica would hear her. And the funny thing is, she wouldn’t be mad because he just cut his hair without asking, it would be because of how awful it looks. The right side of his hair was way longer than the left and the sides were all patchy, a result of not being able to find any clippers and the artistic decision not to section anything.
Matty really had no clue how to fix his hair, he could of course go to the barbers and get them to fix it, but that’s just fucking embarrassing and therefore has no chance of happening. To be honest, he’s never really been any good at making sensible on the spot decisions, that’s what Ross and Hann are here for. So without much more thought he raised the scissors back towards his hair and tried to channel his inner hairdresser.
Just as he was about to take a generous chunk of hair from the right side he heard the sound of his bedroom door being opened. Shit. Okay, deep breaths he thought, mum won’t be mad she’s literally got short hair herself, and yeah maybe she didn’t cut it herself at ten at night with manky kitchen scissors but still. The footsteps could be heard getting closer to his bathroom. Alright he would just have to face her, there wasn’t really anyway of getting out of this. He reached towards the lock and shut his eyes as he slowly opened his door, he did not want to see the look of disappointment on her face.
“Woah what the fuck?” The person on the other side of the said in shock.
Wait, that most definitely wasn’t his mum, unless of course her voice magically dropped in last hour and happened to sound exactly like his best mate. Matty let out the biggest sigh of relief as he opened his eyes. “Thank god Adam it’s just you.”
Adam just looked back at him with wide eyes and a slightly opened mouth. “Holy shit where has all your hair gone?”
“Obviously it’s in the sink, your literally staring right at it.” Matty Replied with a role of his eyes and returned back to the mirror. He continued to cut off little bits of his curls as Adam stood frozen in the door way. After a few minutes Matty started getting sick of the silence. “You alright there mate? You’ve been standing like a statue for a good five minutes.”
Adam snapped out of the trance he was in and stood next to Matty. “No yeah i’m good. sorry, just um shocked you know. Like yesterday you had hair and now you don’t.”
Matty stopped cutting and deadpanned towards his friend. “Well yeah thats how haircuts usually work.”
“Yeah i know that you dick.” The older boy replied with a grin as he held out his hand. “Here let me help you.”
Matty silently gave the scissors over as the other boy took them with a smile and stood behind him. He watched in the mirror as Adam began chopping away at his hair, first cutting the longer bits so that everything was the same length and then very carefully trying to match the lengths on the back and sides. After a while it actually began to look pretty good, the sides were no longer patchy and the top was even. Maybe Adam is a top secret hairdresser he thought, i bet he runs around the city at night going to top secret hair meet ups. Thats the only reasonable explanation for how good his hair was looking right now, he just had to be running a super secret barber shop. He got snapped out of his ridiculous thoughts by a pair of hands on his shoulders brushing the stray bits of hair off.
“Alright, all done mate, it actually looks sick if i do say so myself.” Adam said meeting Mattys eyes in the mirror.
He stared at himself in the mirror for a few minutes admiring the handy work. It actually looked so fucking good, better than anything he could have done by far. As his eyes scanned over his face once more he felt a mix of emotions: happiness, relief, shock, pride; he felt it all. Matty felt the most like himself than ever before and that was all thanks to Adam fucking Hann and his hair dressing skills. In a quick motion Matty spun round a pulled a smiling Adam into a hug. The other boy was confused for a second but then pulled him in even tighter as he let out a sniff.
“Hey your alright, whats wrong, do you not like it?” Adam asked in a panic whilst trying to soothe the boy sobbing in his arms.
Matty pulled away and wiped his eyes and looked at his friends worried face. “yeah sorry im good, its looks great.”
“Whats up then, clearly somethings made you this upset.” Adam replied full of worry. “You can tell me anything you know.”
Matty debated what he was going to say as the two made their way to sit at the end of his bed. It was probably a good idea to tell Adam what was going on, but at the same time he really didn’t want to fuck up their friendship. After another moment of consideration he decided to just go for it.
“Alright, im gonna tell you but promise me you wont be mad.” Matty finally said as he held out his pinky towards the other boy. “And you can’t make it a big deal.”
Adam linked his pinky with Matty and smiled. “Promise.”
The curly headed boy took a deep breath as he looked down towards his lap. “I don’t really know how to phrase this without over complicating things, you know what im like, so im just gonna go for it. i think i’m trans, well i don’t think, i know so but its easier to just say i think, i think. Shit now i’m doing what i said i wouldn’t do and…”
“Wait wait take a breath mate, don’t want you passing out.” Adam interrupted as Matty raised his head. “So what you’re saying is that you’re a boy?”
“Umm yeah.” Matty said as he fiddled with his fingers.
“Okay so do you want me to call you he now?” Adam paused for a second before starting again. “Shit question sorry, of course you do. What I meant is like, do you want us to all call you a different name now because i really don’t mind you know. Just say the words and I’ll do it and i’m sure Ross won’t care either. Wait have you already told Ross?”
Adam eventually stopped his blabbering when Matty interrupted him. “Okay one, yeah that was a shit question obviously i do, two i haven’t told Ross and three i was kinda hoping you’d help me with the whole name thing.”
As Matty looked up Adam was already pulling a pen and paper from his bag. “We better get brain storming them.”
Later that night after sitting through a bunch of crappy tv shows, nearly burning the house down (don’t ask) and an unhealthy amount of fizzy dinks, Adam finally suggested the name Matthew. The other boy told him to fuck right off and that it sounded like a twats name. Adam said you are a twat and suggested Matty for short. The boy was already sold when he said you are a twat.
(Back to present)
“Okay so let me give you the run down.” Adam said looking towards George who was sat opposite him. “Us lot needed to take a break from gigs for a bit because um well…”
Adam and Ross looked towards Matty silently asking if he wanted George to know that he was trans. Matty appreciated their kindness but most definitely didn’t want a potential dick in the band so decided to get it over and done with. Here its goes he thought and gave his friends a shrug. “I’m trans and was getting chesticles chopped off. It’s kinda hard to play music when you’re all bandaged up and shit. Hurts like a bitch.”
He looked towards the new addition of the group with a raised eye brow, waiting for his reaction. George actually seemed cool and was proper fit, which by the way was just an observation, so if he was mad about this that would be a bit of a downer. Georges eyes slowly moved over his face as if he was trying to scan his brain or some shit. Matty was getting a bit fidgety under the intense gaze so quickly flicked his eyes towards Ross as if to say, help me this is getting awkward. Just as Ross clocked what Matty was doing, George broke out into a huge grin and his intense glare turned into admiration.
“Holy shit mate that must have felt bullshit, i dunno what i’d do if i couldn’t play everyday, reckon i’d go mad up here.” George replied as he tapped on the side of his head.
Thank fuck for that Matty thought, that’s one less thing he has to worry about. Clearly the other two were thinking the same thing because Ross could be heard muttering a thank god and Adam showing a small smile. “Yeah it was well annoying, couldn’t even wash my own hair for a while, thats what we have Ross for tho innit.”
“He must of been a pro by the end of that then.” George chuckled looking towards Ross. “Mind if i book in an appointment?”
After that it was easy, the fours boys sat in the coffee shop joking and bantering with each other. George seamlessly fitting right into the bunch like he’d always been there. At first he did seem quiet, just sitting there laughing along at Matty’s jokes, but once he started to warm up he was actually quite funny.
Eventually they got round to talking about what they were actually there for, which was of course the band. The four of them decided to meet up at their joint flat in a few days to start practicing and get everything else sorted. They also made a group chat with Adam naming it ‘Cock suckers + Adam and George.’ Matty then insisted on taking cringey photo the for the chat icon which ended up with the four of them looking idiots, pulling silly faces and leaning over the table to get in view of the phone. After that they soon parted ways, Matty claiming that buying that flowery shirt today was top priority and George needing to get back home to charge his phone.