Chapter Text
You sighed once more, shoulders slack with exhaustion as you sat against the wall on the floor in the dim lights of Parts and Service. It had been another long day in ‘paradise’ – basically living at the Pizzaplex during one of the busiest weeks of the year dubbed ‘Birthday Bonanza’ where there were actually discounts for customers to take advantage of. What did that mean for you? Given you were BARELY paid, it meant overworking yourself to cover the influx of activity.
More repairs, cleaning (Cross-training, amIright?), STILL expected to do Security work and to top it all off? Maintenance that came monthly with your spinal implant was coming up and you were in pain. No, pain wasn’t enough of a word to encompass the feeling, honestly. Agony. Torture. You were so tired. Movement was hell and you felt like your joints were made of hot tar.
Running a hand through your hair, you released another shaky sigh that rattled your body with shivers. Eclipse was still out trying to find his circle of magic, Solar was over at Sun and Moon’s house to cat sit while they investigated their own leads and Ruin… well, you hadn’t seen much of him, but going anywhere while you were like this was out of the question.
Another shudder shook you, pulling a whimper from you when it had your spine feeling as if it had twisted under your skin. You wanted to sleep – needed it to continue this hellish week – but there was just no mercy or comfort from your chronic condition. Just when you were sure this was going to be your existence for the night, the sound of a door opening caught your attention. Shoes quickly running along the concrete followed after and you had only just lifted your head to see a figure with rays and a hat come into view.
Ruin stopped when he saw you, confusion and concern laced in hisbvoice, “Darling? W-Whatever are you doing on the floor?” Ruin asked in a pitch higher than normal as he noted you curled in on yourself. Quickly, he approached before taking a knee before you. His head looked over you, scanning for injuries, “Are you alright?! Take a fall or p-perhaps you just need a moment to ground yourself? I-I-I can leave if you want, I just–!”
You reached for him with a violently trembling arm to hold him by his wrist, missing the days before everything got so complicated and just… missing him, “Stay. Please, I’m just–” You swallowed, your hand on his wrist tightening a bit as you only just barely managed to not sob. “I’m– I’m scared… I don’t want to be alone right now.”
For a long moment, Ruin just stared at you with a look you couldn’t decipher before he seemed to relax, “Of course, Darling, of course.” He carefully approached, lowering himself down to sit next to you with his back to the wall. Yet, even as he remained you felt as though there was an awkward space between two your shoulders that might as well have been miles apart. He was giving you space that you didn’t want and the thought had your breath hitching in a sob you couldn’t stifle. Ruin flinched, leaning over to try and see your face, “Are you sure you’re not hurt–?”
He didn’t expect you to practically leap into his lap, throwing his long arms outward with a yelp of surprise. You buried your face in the material of his neck ruffle and the proximity and familiarity had you finally just let the tears fall with a shaky and ragged sob. “I-It hurts… so much–!” And that was enough to convince Ruin to gently wrap arms around you, rubbing up and down the spinal implant that lay beneath your shirt.
“You’re alright, shh,” He cooed in a hushed voice, a look of torment on his face as he warred within himself. He wanted to have what you and him had together; the comfort, the familiarity… the closeness. If only the dark cloud of suspicion and mistrust would disappear to allow him the space to breathe. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. With dear Moon and Eclipse nary a sliver away from imprisoning me… I don’t want them to misunderstand and think I would ever hurt you, Dear One.” You could hear his words, understand their meaning and implication but couldn’t find the strength to pull from his embrace.
“I know, but I–” You shuddered, trying to pull in a sharp intake of air from a searing stab of pain (physically and emotionally) to find your voice. “I just don’t want– c-can’t be alone right now. Please, Ruin–” You begged, trembling now as that frightening sensation of numbness stole your strength from you. Your left arm, locked around Ruin’s neck pipe with your metal right arm, loosened against your will before one fell limply at your side. Like a marionette with its strings cut.
It was happening and, dear god, you were terrified; openly crying now as Ruin looked ready to panic.
“Ohgod, dear me–! Darling, i-i-i-is it that–?! The t-t-time for your… ‘s-self service’?” The sheer terror in his voice as he recalled the only bits of knowledge he retained about the manner in which your spinal implant stretched and adjusted every month to preserve its host’s vitality. Even if it appeared to be an agonizing and gruesome affair. Which it was!
Mutely, struggling to draw in any air to speak, you gave a nod before another searing bout of pain rushed down your back – the choked cry that came nearly bringing Ruin to tears himself at the sound if he could cry. He did his best to appear strong, doing everything in his knowledge to help you as he spoke soft words of comfort. Once your other arm had fallen limply from his shoulder, he moved quickly to carry you to a table nearby. The contents of the surface met the floor without a care in the world before you were being placed upon its surface on your stomach.
Carefully, Ruin began to arrange your gradually paralyzed body to make sure the adjustment wouldn’t cause damage to your muscles. He would freeze, however, when the eventual task of removing your top clothes wrought fear from him. He needed to do it lest the twist and push of the implant potentially pull the material dangerously into your body. He just hoped any cameras Moon or Solar would look through didn’t paint a disgusting picture of misunderstanding. He didn’t have the benefit of the magic coursing through the Fazcade to manipulate the cameras and he didn’t expect this to be happening.
Determined to keep you safe, Ruin spoke softly to you while carefully removing the shirt and then any undergarments you had below. “You’re so strong, love– just h-hang on a little longer, Dearest,” He forced the tremble in his voice box back as much as he could, even as the multiple flash and fade of colored lights the shone from your spinal implant began to flicker in a flurry of worrying patterns. “I’m here, Darling,” He whispered, keeping himself within sight. You couldn’t move anymore, your cheek pressed against the cold surface of the table. Still, it was a great comfort to see the mismatched colors of Ruin’s eyes as he spoke to you. “I’m not going anywhere.”
As tears rolled down your cheeks, sections of your spine adjusting with each pin unscrewing slowly one by one on each side, Ruin would use a clean cloth fresh out of its package to clean the excess blood and spinal fluid that seeped from the implant. It was a long, agonizing process but as it came to a close nearly an hour later, you were beyond exhausted.
The buzz of sensation that told you that your nerves were lighting back up to allow movement didn’t matter to you when you didn’t have the strength to move anyway. Ruin, bless him, had carefully put your shirt back on but didn’t have the dexterity to help redress your undergarments - not that you wanted it on with your back muscles so sensitive and tender. Once he was sure your implant wasn’t going to do anything else, he gathered you up and sat back down onto the floor.
You cracked your eyes open, puffy and heavy from exhaustion and tears, “R–…Ruin?”
He smiled down at you, voice as soft as a caress, “I’m here. I only regret that I can’t do more than be a subpar pillow while you rest… if you’ll allow me the honor once more.”
Your throat constricted with emotion, shoulders shuttering as you fought to manage even a whisper, “I–...” With what strength you had left, you reached up to grasp his shoulder and pull yourself up to his cheek to weakly press your lips to the swirl of a white cheek, “I missed you.”
The click of a glow could be heard, fans kicking up quickly to betray how affected Ruin felt before he could even say a word, “D-D-Darling?” He sputtered bashfully and vainly tried to hide his face from you. “I-I… I don’t deserve your a-affection,” He admitted with clear shame.
You scrutinized him, still rather close to his face, before you gently brought a hand up to touch the side of his face plate to turn him back to you, “Ruin… why do you think that? Why have you been avoiding me until now?” You felt the bubble of emotions rise, reflecting the conflict between rationality and desperation for a connection.
For a long moment, Ruin’s mismatched gaze stayed locked to yours before he emulated a sigh with a release of hot steam. “It’s… very complicated. Would that I-I could explain it better, but please know that it isn’t out of malice.” He brought a hand up but hesitated a second before overlaying it above yours on his face. He held onto your hand with a yearning you typically associated with Eclipse – an underlying magnetism to be close to you. “If there is any one thing that I-I am sure of, Darling… it’s that I won’t ever try to hurt you. I…” You could feel a tremble begin, growing more pronounced as he spoke. “I hope that, if nothing else, you believe that of me.”
“Ruin.” You whispered softly, voice choked with emotion, before moving your head forward to gently press your forehead to the top of his face plate. “I believe you. F-For a little bit, please–” You swallowed. “Can we just stay like this? For a little while?” Gone was the bravado of a dimensional jumper and gone was the steel-resolve you typically kept in the face of insurmountable horrors and death-assured odds. You were human once… and, just like now, you would continue to be human every now and again.
The smile Ruin gave you was a bittersweet as it was radiant, speaking softly to you, “Of course, Darling. For however long you desire.” You closed your eyes in relief, your body relaxing like a tire being deflated for the first time in months.
“Thank you.”