Chapter Text
“This isn’t the sort of party I was expecting to have,” Stark mutters after Black magically grows some of Charles’ teacups to be Transformer-sized.
“I had Transformers tea parties when I was a girl.” Kitty looks slightly shocked that her childhood games and toys are now a reality, though she probably played superheroes as a kid and is now a superheroine-in-training.
“Well none of us are little girls.” Stark swirls his glass of scotch.
“Boys can play tea parties.” Harry shares some wisdom from Stark Industries’ preschool. He returns to gazing up at Optimus Prime in awe. “You guys could use the teacups at Coney Island. You know, from the ride where you spin super duper fast? Only those cups have doors on the side.”
“Usually we drink from cubes.” Arcee glances distastefully at her cup, which looks less dainty now that it could comfortably hold humans.
Optimus Prime politely sips the fuel that Forge and Stark made a special gas run for. Bulkhead chugs his own in three gulps, like Thor drinking mead, but doesn’t throw the cup down.
James looks down at his own mug of hot cocoa, so used to drinking it after nightmares that it feels bizarre to have it in the middle of the afternoon. Harry has hot cocoa, too. He’d asked to try gasoline like the Transformers, but James had firmly put his foot down on that idea. He keeps glancing at Harry’s cup to make sure he hasn’t used accidental magic to turn his cocoa into fuel or some nameless, toxic sludge.
Ratchet- a white and orange bot who’d joined them as an ambulance while Forge and Stark made their gas run- explains how the fuel is nutritionally inferior to energon. Hulk shrinks back into Bruce to talk science, and Ratchet comments that he’s never seen a human transform before.
“You’ve never seen a human with a spark before.” Jubilee boasts, making sparks dance over her fingertips. “The spark thing is real, right?”
“If anyone has a spark, it’s me.” Stark gestures to his arc reactor, and the two start bickering like Stark’s still a teenager himself.
Harry insists they serve sandwiches and biscuits as well. He brings up his time at the Dursleys less and less these days, but clearly remembers how afternoon tea works. Charles and Sirius help keep the tradition alive.
Harry isn’t deterred when the Transformers tell him they don’t eat biscuits- instead, he offers all the plastic food from his play kitchen, even mentioning that Bruce once said plastic is made from oil like gas.
Bulkhead pretends to eat Harry’s plastic sandwiches, which look like finger sandwiches in his hands, and Harry pours imaginary honey all over Bumblebee's pretend sandwich.
“I’m going to make food you can really eat when I grow up, ‘cos not getting to eat is sad.” Harry says, and Sirius’s expression grows somber at the reminder of both of their past hunger. Harry frowns too. “Growing up takes forever. What are you going to eat until then?”
“Energon.” Arcee says dryly.
Bruce starts to ask Ratchet if energon is rare like vibranium, but James doesn’t hear the answer over Harry.
“And I’m going to rescue people just like you do.” Harry states proudly, ignoring Stark asking if the Avengers are chopped liver now “I’m going to save people from fires and chase bad guys.”
James’ brow furrows. He hates the thought of Harry putting himself in danger. Sirius says something about aurors, which isn’t helping, and Steve looks like he might start one of his speeches about police brutality.
James doubts that would go over well with a robotic police car, but Steve has never had any sense of when to keep his mouth shut and not pick fights.
Bumblebee buzzes, and Harry asks “Why don’t you use a tablet to talk? Or like, a telly, ‘cos that’s more your size. Sirius could make a tablet as big as a telly for you.”
Harry glances expectantly at Sirius when he says this.
Bumblebee buzzes again, and the bots seem to understand him. Stark mentions R2-D2, then asks Charles if he can read Bumblebee’s thoughts.
Laughter booms from across the lawn from where Thor and Bulkhead are trading battle stories, making Charles pause before answering. Interruptions are a fact of life in their big family.
Stark abandons them before Charles gets a chance to reply, jumping over to Bruce, Beast and Ratchet, who are deep in a discussion about something scientific.
James sighs deeply, trying to shed the stress of the battle. He hadn’t expected to join the fight today, but it felt a bit like atoning for some of the past. He sits next to Steve on a picnic blanket, with Harry half on his lap.
“Do you really turn into dinosaurs?” Harry asks Optimus Prime, picking up one of his Optimus Prime figures. One arm is the T-Rex’s head, the other is the tail. It suddenly makes James feel lucky to have his own prosthesis.
Harry shows how the Optimus Prime toy turns into a T-Rex with a simple twist of its legs. The toy’s transformations are hardly impressive next to the real robots in front of them, but Optimus Prime acts impressed for Harry’s sake.
Optimus Prime starts to answer but Harry, like Stark, jumps topics without notice. “Do you guys have huge toilets?” he starts snickering and follows it up with a question about what robot poop looks and smells like, all manner of decorum disappearing immediately.
At a look from Charles, stops the toilet talk, but keeps giggling. James can’t say he enjoys the toilet humor phase, but he still celebrates every normal childhood milestone Harry’s allowed to have now.
Once he’s mostly under control, Harry asks “Are we going to help you fight Megatron?”
“You aren’t.” James says firmly.
“Are you?” Harry asks. James doesn’t answer. He hasn’t decided yet.
“Did Megatron get his brain stolen?” Harry asks.
Optimus Prime somberly says that Megatron once fought beside him like a brother, but they ended up on opposite sides. Steve glances at Thor, and Charles starts to empathize, bringing up his own long, convoluted history with Erik.
James shares a look with Steve. They have their own long history, of course, but mind control is a much simpler explanation than whatever’s been going on between Charles and Erik over the decades. The students would probably call Charles and Erik “frenemies” and it’s obvious they still have deep feelings for each other.
Harry clearly senses this will turn into a long adult conversation and wanders off, begging Bumblebee to race him. Bumblebee shifts back into a sports car and drives laps around the mansion, racing Harry on his broomstick.
He clearly allows Harry to win the first race. After a few more laps, Harry switches to tag, roping Bulkhead, Heatwave and Chase into the game. Stark can’t resist showing off his own armor and joins in, almost breaking the sound barrier as he soars overhead to prove his superiority.
Kitty joins, but uses her powers to never get tagged by running through whoever’s chasing her. Bobby argues that that still counts, though he uses his ice to make it harder for the bots to chase him.
“Dad!” Harry shouts as he zips past. “Our family’s even bigger now! Super big ‘cos they’re giant!”
James huffs. Their team and family is already big and boisterous enough, though James supposes he’d be a hypocrite to turn anyone else away. He’s still not sure he deserves this after everything.
Charles glances at James, not even needing to telepathically convey his message. James nods, and reminds himself that he’d never say Clint and Natasha don’t deserve this family after their pasts. They’ve both told James he deserves this numerous times, but it doesn’t magically make the guilt go away.
After giving James a kind smile, Charles goes back to his conversation with Optimus Prime. Steve sits, sketching Bumblebee’s car model, and James leans back on the blanket, choosing to observe rather than participate.
He doesn’t like where the conversation is heading. From the sound of it, Megatron believes he should have been given the rank of Prime, like Loki’s jealousy over Thor.
James sighs again. Getting dragged into a whole war between the Autobots and Decepticons is the last thing they need, but he’s resigned himself to the fact he’ll never live a carefree life.