IllogiNews:Recent graduates are nothing to sniff at

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

The year 2023 is already shaping up as a year in which angels are pleased with the advancement of human understanding, following unprecedented numbers of graduations in a short time. The final exam consists in something not described in detail publicly, but which reportedly results, in those passing it, in the experiencing of an abnormally diffuse pressure on the nose.

A note of caution is warranted here, as not every person who has caught a cold and experiences vague symptoms related to such has made the remarkable achievement. Indeed, it seems unrelated to all known causes of sneezing, runny noses, and related issues. An advisory regarding this was reportedly issued so as to avoid the confusion which may otherwise spread – which happened in earlier years in New Age circles – when lots of people whose understanding actually is something to sneeze at, sneeze and experience mild fevers and consider themselves enlightened, and spread the word to all who will listen.

Rumors that the coronavirus is the key the passing the exam were denied in no uncertain terms. While it does make it easier to pass an eye exam, it does not particularly improve understanding of anything.

In possibly unrelated news, UFOlogists have recently sighted an unusual number of space noses.