Forum:Turning Illogicopedia into a cult?
Turning Illogicopedia into a cult could bring its leadership much money and influence, not to mention plenty of activity and higher search-engine rankings, and the possibility of proper citration in articles about itself, following being plunged into the limelight in the media worldwide.
After all – it's been a decade since interest in Illogicopedia's politics faded, isn't it time for something new and fresh?
Illogicopedia could teach its readers about how all of their problems are caused by invisible sky cats who influence minds, and that donating all of their money is the way to become spiritually pure enough that the invisible cats can't bother them any more. The administration could make enough money to buy as many bananas as they want, always parading around with bananas on their heads, and eating as many as they can get down, without complications.
It would also of course be important to teach about the invisible, lesser-known great and ultimately all-benevolent deities who have inspired Illogicomedia's quest to save the world. Saving the world is the proper reason to donate money, of course, not personal salvation (that's too selfish, and Illogicopedia should absolutely focus on appealing to the noblest ideals of its readership).
Unfortunately, we live in an insane world destined for hell. That's the great threat – together with the invisible cats which ultimately cause all of the trouble – which all of the money and effort is intended to avert. But how? If the future is doomed, and Illogicomedia lacks the power to change it in our timeline, then how to reach a better future? Through time travel, of course! All money donated is invested into mad science, a means of time and dimensional travel being the great ambition worked towards with the greatest competence and reliability by the associates of Illogicomedia's staff.
It is of course the great secret Banana Science which will bring us all salvation. This is no secret, it is to be told as widely and persuasively as possible! The people here, who are fully invested in this great enterprise, are naturally bananas in the most positive of possible ways, and represent greater powers than the unfortunate brainwashed ignorant mainstream unbelievers of the world can possibly imagine with their remote-controlled cat-addled minds.
"But", you may object, "Illogicopedia shouldn't only gather money, it should also gain real political power right here in our timeline where we are!" For that, and the conspiracies necessary to achieve such, more discreet discussions elsewhere may be in order... Not that any such things, dear unbelieving outsider reader, will ever occur, of course... --Fluffalizer 11:27, 5 Farbleum 2023 (UTC)