Specsavers

Eyesight out of repair? Can't see straight at the nearest car? Think you're proposing marriage to a cow, or even to the 901 bus? Well, then, that could have been solved ages ago, if you had gone to Specsavers.

Why go to Specsavers?

Because, generally, you're more likely to lose your glasses underneath a rampaging rhinoceros that is trampling everything in its path, than on the park bench. Either way, now (it's most likely) you can't even see anymore! That's why, with the help of time travel, it's possible to go back, go to Specsavers, and then lose your glasses! Because we are so cheap that nobody even cares. Alternatively, you could just go back and not lose your existing glasses, but then our shop makes less money. Because this is a capitalist society we live in! Mwahahahaha...

Why don't go to Specsavers?

For no reason whatsoever. Unless you still have your glasses, but with advertising you can be tempted, by us, to buy another pair! And, hopefully, get them at Specsavers.