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:'''Stella:''' I am [[not]]. And it's ''my'' turn, so quit blubbering. I spy, with my little eye.... something... that starts... with "S".
==Construction==
Anyway, ''The Root of All Evil'' resort takes its name from the ''Tree of Knowledge'' which bore the [[fruit]] that gave [[humankind]] the knowledge of evil, and ultimately led to banishment from the ''Garden of Eden''.
::''"And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden ... And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads ... And from the heads were borne many attractive and well-maintained pools for luxurious privacy bathing, a complimentary ice cube dispenser, and a spectacular waterslide and splash park guaranteed to delight children of all ages." (Genesis 2:8-14)''
==
[[File:Desert-resort.jpg|thumb|300px|'''Like manna from heaven.''' Our resort welcomes '''you''' to paradise on earth. And remember, whether you keep them for pets or food, your animals are always welcome to stay with no additional deposit required. (Note: Fire codes specifically prohibit indoor barbecuing).]]
''The Root of All Evil'' is open year-round and features:
Our spectacular resort grounds also feature:
* An ''All-you-can-breathe''
* A 12 million square foot beach.
* Hovel-to-shore shuttle service.
==Sights & Souvenirs==
[[File:Evilring.jpg|thumb|'''A diamond is forever''' but a ring with a fragment of ''The Root of All Evil'' allows you the power of life and death in your hand—smiting and cursing thine enemies until they beg for the sweet release that only [[death]] can provide. ''Results not guaranteed. Individual experiences may vary.'']]
[[Scuba]] diving expeditions to the original underwater site of the ''Tree of Knowledge'' are conducted daily by appointment only. Guests are permitted to marvel at the remaining mineral-petrified root structure for up to [[5]] fun-filled minutes. No shovels, scavenging, or flash photography is permitted, lest thou wish to part with thy right hand. Scuba gear rental cost is included in the expedition price.<sup>
: <small>• Tank oxygen not included, and available for a ''nomimal'' charge. Tank filling cost, transportation and handling charges, environmental levies, taxes, wear and tear expenses, depreciation, contingency fees, usage charge, non-usage penalties, insurance, drop off and restocking charge, disposal fee for unused portions, commission, finder's fee, and other miscellaneous and unspecified expenses and surcharges are ''not included'' (and extra).</small>
Phone: (+98-021) 88846650-1
==See
*[[Females]]
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