Talk:Five Nights at Freddy's: Sister Location/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Kung Fu Man (talk) 21:53, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Nub098765 (talk · contribs) 08:17, 17 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Kung Fu Man (talk · contribs) 11:38, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

"Elizabeth, William’s daughter, is heard begging him to play with Circus Baby, despite her father's insistence that she must stay away." - This sentence is just kinda here, and before we're told who William is. Was this meant to go somewhere else?
- This is fair. I don't think it could be anywhere else, as it happens between the nights after the TV show. I can't seem to reword it to account for context. The sentence is not extremely crucial, so I'm not sure about this one.
What is scooping? It's mentioned in quotes, but probably better to not use the quotes while explaining what it actually means.
- I've replaced "scooped" with the word "gutted" (it eviscerates the animatronics).
"but Mike reanimates" - Probably better to explain his body reanimates and he's still conscious.
- Reworded: I found out he actually doesn't die. So I changed it to "leaves him near death".
I feel the Endings section could use citations, even if it's stuff like Valnet. Just something to verify the events of the game given this is a bit more complex than some titles.
- I've added what I could find; hopefully it's sufficient enough. I tried to avoid outright unreliable sources.
The screenshot may be best left oriented as the infobox is currently forcing it down the page.
- Done.

That's actually the most I have to say about the prose. Once you respond or address these I'll do a spot check but overall she's looking pretty good.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 11:38, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Kung Fu Man: Thanks for starting this review. I've responded to all and am looking forward to your response. Nub098765 (talk) 23:19, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
- I've tagged a few spots that still need some citations and removed the sentence about Elizabeth. Few other things arose on a closer inspection:
  - What are Minirenas? This isn't explained.
  - A basic explanation of what the "springlock suitt" is would help.
  - Some explanation of why Springtap emerging at the end would also help, he's just kinda mentioned otherwise.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 23:17, 26 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  All are addressed. The Springtrap sentence doesn't directly tie into Sister Location but more so into Pizzeria Simulator, so I've removed it. Nub098765 (talk) 03:35, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

So when doing a spot check, ref 16 doesn't really cover what it's cited for past a certain point in that paragraph, and the "Golden Freddy" mode is also undefined in the article. I'm sorry for being a stickler about this part, but really this section seems to be the one with the most problems.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 17:13, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
No need to apologize; these are fair criticisms and should be addressed. I've added two citations—one at the end of the paragraph and one in the middle—so hopefully that suffices. Nub098765 (talk) 21:31, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I replaced one of the refs with a direct game quote, it's a singular primary citation so should be fine, but the Christian Today website felt questionable from their about page. Spot check on the reception was good too, just for future reference make sure to attribute statements to their authors if you can not just the site, it helps especially if you ever have to cite multiple articles from a website. That said, passing, well done!--Kung Fu Man (talk) 21:52, 27 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.