Donald Trump keeps falling asleep during his hush-money trial. This is probably because he’s old, he isn’t used to being forced to sit through boring events, and he stays up too late posting all-caps rants on Truth Social. But Trump also can’t be nodding off all the time, since he likes to pretend he’s Superman (sometimes literally) and has already branded his 2024 opponent “Sleepy Joe” Biden, though they’re about the same age.
So what’s Trump to do? He could just try to keep his eyes open in court, but apparently, that’s not an option. So instead, he and his Republican allies keep offering ludicrous excuses for why reporters are spotting him with his eyes closed, his mouth open, and his chin falling to his chest. Here are some of the most dubious defenses for “Sleepy Don.”
He’s resting his “beautiful blue eyes.”
Following a report that he’s furious he got caught sleeping, Trump took to Truth Social to insist he’s wide awake at all times; he just likes to listen with his eyes closed.
He’s meditating.
Fox News host Jesse Watters took Trump’s explanation one step further, claiming on Wednesday’s edition of The Five that Trump is listening so intensely he’s fallen into a meditative trance.
“You have a guy who said the guy’s sleeping. He’s meditating, Greg. He’s in a meditative state,” he said.
Watters added that Trump being comfortable enough to repeatedly shut his eyes in public actually proves he’s not a tired old man.
“When you’re defensive about something, you avoid something. Trump’s not defensive of being old and tired. He can shut his eyes and not feel bad about it like Sleepy Joe,” he said.
He’s praying.
Maybe you don’t buy that Donald Trump is doing something as New Age–y as meditating in public. But would you believe that the guy who cited “Two Corinthians” and wished everyone a “Happy Good Friday” was actually praying?
That’s the excuse Representative Lauren Boebert offered up in a House hearing when a Democratic colleague showed a photo of Trump with his eyes closed. Boebert also gushed about how “pretty” Trump looks while he’s praying and/or sleeping.
“I think he’s praying, but if he is sleeping, [he] certainly looks pretty as he sleeps,” Boebert said. “I know when I fall asleep on airplanes my mouth kind of drops open. His mouth is kind of tight-lipped, so maybe it’s just a somber moment of thought.”
He is sleeping — but anyone would.
Like Boebert and a menagerie of other MAGA-y politicians, J.D. Vance visited Trump in court earlier this week. Afterward, the Ohio senator and Trump VP prospect shared several weird observations on X. He complained that the courthouse is “dingy” compared to Trump Tower and that the former president can’t sit close to his friends; this led him to the conclusion that “the main goal of this trial is psychological torture.”
Vance added that media reports about Trump’s sleeping are an “absurd narrative.” Not because they’re untrue, but because no one could keep their eyes open in court. “I’m 39 years old and I’ve been here for 26 minutes and I’m about to fall asleep,” he said.
So there you have it: Trump’s frequent eye-closing is evidence of either his mental acuity, his deep faith, or the impossibility of anyone staying awake during a trial about hush-money payments to a porn star. Just don’t call him a sleepy 77-year-old man!
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