View source for User:Un-Kareljanis/Random Rants

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This is a part for me to scream about random stuff when I'm bored. It's not really an essay, but a collection of unrelated paragraphs.

===How to Really Get to Sesame Street===
[[HowTo:Get To Sesame Street|This article]] claims it has the easiest ways to get to [[Sesame Street]]. I beg to differ, so here are my ways.

* Go to [[Staples]] and buy an easy button. Press it and you're there. THAT was easy!
* Press Alt + F4 on your keyboard.
* Watch TV, there's bound to be a documentary about it somewhere.
* Go through the hole in the ground in Tower 5 in the [[Great Wall of China]]. Afterwards, you must read the entire [[Little Red Book]] and take an exam. That's followed by watching a communist propaganda film, passport registration, a dance competition, and you're there!
* Go to the house in [[New Orleans]], that's called the Rising Sun. There's a portal in it.
* Cross the thin line between cleverness and stupidity (may result in mental retardation, [[AIDS]], diarrhea, excessive vomiting, exploding brain cells syndrome, or death).

===Wikipedia's Black Helicopters===
The [[Nazi]]s at [[Wikipedia]] have found a new way to stop the circulation of content-free information: [[Black helicopter]]s. What are these, you ask? They're helicopters, and they're black. I know, startling. Equipped with crazy ninja lasers and [[paintball]] machine guns, these things will blow your fucking head off. So run! Are you running yet? Well you shouldn't be, read on. What these things do is that they insinerate information and kill [[Uncyclopedia]]'s editors to increase their traffic. How do we stop them? We can't, you just have to panic. Now you can start running.

===Militant Pacifism===
In a world, where oxymorons are as common as Mexicans in front of [[Home Depot]], some [[Al Gore|nutjob environmentalist]] has invented "militant pacifism". How exactly does a person wanting peace achieve that through acts of militancy? By killing all of those that disagree with peace. Violence is not the answer, unless you're stopping violence with violence. Makes sense? No, it shouldn't. Now before some [[retard|conspiracy theorist]] calls me a shill and claims I support a [[U.S.A|New World Order]], let me elaborate. You can't fight fire with fire. I've tried, it just creates a bigger fire. I have the testicular burns to prove it. If you kill, you're not a pacifist. It's like being a happy emo kid, or a dumb Asian. Is [[Gandhi]] going to run through Calcutta with an AK47 shooting the damn British? No, he's gonna go on a march and praise equality and some other crap. Then get shot. I think to stop militant pacifism, we should completely eradicate [[Call of Duty]] from [[Switzerland|pacfist "communities"]]. Bam, tree-huggers with machine guns are gone.