Egypt
Ægypt Most Democratic Touristic Republic of Pyramidistan Masr (الجمهورية العربية الملكية) | |||||
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| Motto: ya 3am naffad ba2a | |||||
| Anthem: Kora, Kora, Kora, kollena benheb el Kora | |||||
| Capital | Käïrö | ||||
| Largest city | Omm Terter Ra | ||||
| Official language(s) | Hieroglyphics, HTML | ||||
| Government | Riots | ||||
| National hero(es) | Allah, Allah's True Prophet Muhammad | ||||
| Declaration of Independence |
Around 1,000,000 B.C.E. | ||||
| Currency | Tramadol | ||||
| Religion | Infidelism, Islam, Ikhwanian Islam, Governmental Islam, Coptic Christianity, Christian Church of Later Day Terrorists, Pastafarianism, Global Warming, | ||||
Egypt or Masr is one of the best countries in the world and has made a lot of progress so far. This is because of its awesomeness when it kicked out Mubarak. By Federal law you are forbidden to discuss this topic and may be sent to a secret Mars penal colony if these laws are not kept. The country has been plagued by civil unrest, most likely from Phineas Ottley, the otter drug-dealing warlord.
Rules of Ægyptüs[edit]
The First Rule of Ægyptüs[edit]
There are no rules.
The Second Rule of Ægyptüs[edit]
Please do not feed the terrorists.
The Third Rule of Ægyptüs[edit]
No throwing of sand is allowed. That power is reserved for the Pharaoh and/or his mother.
Geography[edit]
Ægyptüs is situated at the upper right-hand corner of Africa, and it is the only populated part of the continent. Ægyptüs is 96% opium farms and 4% opium dens. It is very hot over here, so you are not advised to bring any clothes with you the next time you visit Ægyptüs
People[edit]
The people of Ægyptüs, including saleh, have the astounding chameleon-like ability to change their skin color. The origins and functions of this peculiar power remain known only to Tim Chow, who, thanks to his ninja training, won't say anything. In some regions, a kind of a new race has started to develop. The kids being born after a certain date have much paler skin, are taller, more muscular and despite their religion have a uncontrollable craving for sausages. It seems that there is no apparent reason for this Darwinistic change and scientists (the few located in Egypt) have tried in vain to come up with an answer. Urban myths tells that it might be related to the visit of a great personality from Denmark, but the Ægyptiüsian patriarchs are not much of speaking about it. Egypt's mayor, saleh lives on terrorist terrace in cairo, the city of forgotten sluts.
Ægyptüs is also very famously known for adopting invaders' languages and religions. When Greeks invaded Ægyptüs the language became Coptic and when Romans invaded Ægyptüs the religion became Christianity then with Arabs introduction of Islam to Ægyptüs the religion became Islam and the language became Arabic, and since Ægyptiüsians never learn the proper way, both religion and language are customized to fit Ægyptiüsians and, in the same time, please tourists/invaders.
Over 50% of all Egyptian women who leave Egypt, either follow the Muslim faith or become a prostitute. Egypt is a prestigious country with world proclaimed religious figures to Al-Azhar university run and managed by a well-respected person named Haifa Wahbe, who not to mention received a Nobel Peace Price 2009 for her "outspoken sense of clothing."
History[edit]
While Ægyptian civilization was once a wonderful, enchanting, testament to the glory of mankind, that was thousands of years ago. That was when it was run by whites, but massive immigration and importation of southern Nubian slaves and mixing of these subhuman species created the Arabs you see there today. These days it's quite the shithole, overrun with sweating, smelly, shouting merchants and sneak thieves with snaggly brown teeth who think that because their ancestors built the pyramids, they're something a bit better than camel dung, which they are not. But we won't dwell on that. The Egyptian character is unique, one of a kind. The Egyptian thinks he is the smartest of all the human beings and creatures, and he still lives in the shadow of the theory of conspiracy, he feels that he is the target of all the attacks of all the world who seeks to abuse him. In the same time he is a twisted character, he believes in the Jungle law, if he is stronger than you he disrespects you as if you are a big piece of shit at the side of the road, if you look strong enough to harm him, then he treats you with the most possible way of sweetness and smiles.
Ancient Ægyptüs[edit]
Ægyptüs began as a colony of Atlantis. 'The great Ægyptüsian age is but a remnant of the Atlantean culture.' ~~ Donovan Wilde. The Atlanteans and Manuel Fraga brought pyramid technology from Mexico on balsa rafts. The Ægyptüsian pyramids follow the same basic design, or pyramid scheme, as the Aztec pyramids, that is square at the bottom and pointy up top. Other giant structures in Ægyptüs include the legendary sphincters. It was bewildered with poo which covered the mass surface area of battered dog nuts. And there was also Mountain Dew.
Following this early pre-dynastic period, the several Ægyptüsians independent cities grouped themselves in two Kingdoms: The Left Bank and the Right Bank (of the River Nile, of course). One day, about the year 3250 BC, a guy called Menes or Namerda invented the junk boat so people could make it across the River Nile to each others banks; the people got so impressed that they made him the King of The Two Lands. Since then, Ægyptüs had its first Pharaoh.
About the year 1650 Ægyptüs was invaded and conquered by a Semitic tribe c