Many a guy has paid Linda Poelzl to improve his sex life, but she's not part of the world's oldest profession. She's a surrogate sex partner who helps men, women, and couples up their bedroom skills by getting her own body in on the action. Now, the upcoming film The Sessions, starring Helen Hunt as a sex surrogate, is bringing Poelzl's unusual job to the forefront.
Poelzl works in tandem with licensed therapists, who help determine if and how she'll be touching a client. At her San Francisco office, she does sometimes give hand jobs to or have intercourse with male clients, but with women, she shows them how to touch themselves or experiment with sex toys. For couples, Poelzl often watches them bump and grind so she can see what's amiss and tell them when to touch this, not that, to get the results they crave. While you may never sit in her waiting room, her experiences can help anyone who's ever thought their sex life could use some expert assistance. Here, she shares her insights on, and remedies for, five common sex problems.
He Gets Off Too Quickly
One of the most typical issues Poelzl deals with is premature ejaculation. "Women think that if a guy comes quickly, it's because he's just so turned on," she says. "But it's often because he's scared or anxious" about the relationship--he could even be preoccupied with trying to make you climax.
Home School: Ease his mind by letting him know it's OK to linger on the way to the finish line. Poelzl does this with slow hand jobs, "having [the men] tell me how close they are to orgasm on a scale from zero to 10," she says. Her goal is to get a guy to hang out for 15 minutes at about a 6 on that scale (laywomen needn't imitate Poelzl's professional stamina). At home, having him shout out numbers might be awkward. Get a similar effect by telling your guy that you want to make him feel good for as long as possible--then start your manual stimulation or oral sex and ask him to warn you when he's on the way to orgasm so you can ease up.
Extra Credit: "Stroke up his belly and chest or down the thighs during the hand job," says Poelzl. "It should calm down the urgency."
