Yay! It's the episode of Farmer Wants a Wife where we get to meet the farmers' families.
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These episodes are always tops.
Amongst all the family members, there are always the same assortment of people:
- An overprotective pork chop of a brother/cousin
- A straight-down-the-line dad who warns them about how hard farm life is and knows distances
- A female friend of a farmer we're pretty sure has the secret, major hots for the farmer.
This means the girls can be relied on to do one of three things:
- complain about the other girls to the family
- boast about their love of the farm
- talk about connections, dates and deep feelings to a bunch of people they have never met.
Let's see how this mess pans out and play a little Farmer Bingo.
Sam Farmytage tells us a day off is a rare thing for farmers.
It's a pity these poor chicks haven't had much experience with this so far - they've been trotting off to date, dance and camping trip left, right and centre.
Their first harvest on the farm, they're going to be expecting to be whisked off for a waltz in a fairy-light filled shed.
Instead, they will get a dusty, grumpy farmer yelling over the UHF at 11pm about a part he needs picked up.
Farmer Todd
Farmer Todd and his girls are meeting a bunch of mates at the pub, including Todd's cousin Matt and his wife Kate.
Matt looks a lot like the Honey Badger.
They kick off proceedings by showing the girls photos of Todd posing naked with a pony.
Todd's cousin's wife Kate takes an immediate shine to Daisy.
"I'd like to know if she is here for love and not for social media," Kate tells the camera.
Well, this is comfortable.
Then the scary music kicks in as one of the friends asks if any of the girls have been married before.
Daisy admits she has - and that they were married within 10 months of meeting.
Kate looks just thrilled.
The Toddy gets a text - no double from the same producer who told his mate to ask about previous marriages.
The text is from Sam to all the farmers. It says the farmer's friends and family get to choose the next girl to go on a solo date.
The Honey Badger and his wife pull Daisy aside to interrogate her.
Kate asks Daisy about her 'quick-term' marriage and how it has affected her other relationships.
"It hasn't," Daisy is quick to reply.
She says she is looking for someone with a backbone - the Honey Badger and his wife give each other a knowing look. Culled.
Kate tells Daisy TO HER FACE she has a hard persona.
Overprotective pork chop cousin - check.
The Honey Badger and his wife have already decided Grace is the one - whether Todd likes it or not.
Farmer Bert
Farmer Bert's three ladies are preparing lunch for his horde of mates.
Carli spends four hours getting ready, and Caitlin is cranky about the amount of fake tan she puts on.
While at lunch, Carli is telling producers how the other girls aren't suited to Bert - Brooke is too reserved and Caitlin is too much like a mate.
"Does he just want a mate who can hang out with the boys, or does he want someone more feminine and a partner - a lady," she says.
Again, Carli is just a treasure.
Then Caitlin goes and tells Bert's mates that Carli is high maintenance.
Bagging out the other girls - check.
Farmer Joe
Farmer Joe and his three ladies are playing touch footy with his mates.
The Farmer Andrew and Jess from the 2021 season turn up with a slow-mo deserving of Beyonce.
Apparently Joe and Andrew have been mates since they were knee-high to a grass-hopper.
The producers even show a grainy football photo with all the other players' faces fuzzed out to prove it.
It looks less like a proof of friendship and more like the opening scene to a murder mystery documentary.
They all play and chat.
Andrew and Jess tell him he's got three nice girls.
Thanks for the help, guys. Go and steal some more of your mum's roses, Andrew.
Farmer Tom
The journey is closer to the end for Farmer Tom, who only has two ladies left - Sarah and Krissy.
Farmer Tom has a gap problem - he's worried about the distance between WA's Sarah, and the age gap between him and Krissy, who is seven years older than him.
The girls meet his family, including his dad Justin.
"Are you feeling homesick at all? he asks Sarah kindly.
"WA is a long way from Victoria."
Dad who points out distances - check.
Sarah also says she is a country girl at heart and loves the farm - check.
Friend Chloe has some concerns about the age gap between Tom and Krissy.
She maybe thinks someone closer to his age, like, I don't know, her would be better.
"This is what you need to think about. It is a decision YOU have to make," she says.
Friend who is secretly in love with the farmer - check.
Farmer Dustin
According to Sam, his three girls have made the 'long' drive to Condo to meet Dustin's mates.
They meet at the Condo Bowling Club, and his mates, who seem like legends, say Dustin tried to pay them with goats to turn up.
They all have a bowl.
Dustin's mate Will has bleeding ears after Anna's monologue.
"I really improved my listening skills. I couldn't get a word in," he says.
Talking about a bunch of feelings to a bloke you've just met - check.
BINGO!
Family picks
Well, it's time to see which family members have had the wool pulled over their eyes.
First up, at Farmer Bert's, his mates pick Carli for the date.
Yikes. Caitlin is filthy.
Farmer Joe's crew pick Claire, while Dustin's mates choose newer chick Belle.
But Toddy's crew aren't going to make a decision until they have had An Intervention.
They get together and have a massive sook about Daisy, her ex and the fact she is overpowering.
"That's what put me off, and we don't want to go back there because we've been there before," Kate talks over the top of everyone.
Yeah, I hate it when people are overpowering.
They go back to the table and declare school teacher Grace as the one to go on the date.
But they aren't done - they sneak Todd off to talk to him about something very important.
Kate informs him they have concerns about Daisy, because she reminds them of his previous relationships.
"I think she might be fun for now, but not for long term," Kate states.
"I don't feel she is the right pick for you as a wife and a mother to your children. I feel she is very strong, fiery, clash heads with. She has a masculine vibe."
Poor Todd gets teary and walks off. I reckon he might have already picked a winner. Too bad, Todd. The tribe has spoken.
Previous Blog Entries
- FWFWW 2024 Preview: Farmers, wives, Sam and the bloggers return for 2024
- FWFWW Ep 1: A psychic, a biter and plenty of flirting
- FWFWW Ep 2: Tie your hair up we're heading to the farm
- FWFWW Ep 3: Double date drama afoot
- FWFWW Ep 4: Drama and dismounts at the rodeo
- FWFWW Ep 5: Fish kisses and dinner party disputes
- FWFWW Ep 6: Meddling mums, a sheep headbutt and three stunners
- FWFWW Ep 7: Heartbreak and strained hammies at the ball
- FWFWW Ep 8: It's draining time with Doctor Sheep
- FWFWW Ep9: Paint, pineapples, ponies and parental guidance recommended
- FWFWW Ep10: Enter the Toddster, Nat's shoulder pat, plus foot stampin' during glampin'
- FWFWW Ep 11: Trains, trotting and tanties as five girls hit the road