An example to us all
Sept 2012: Wayne Rooney on 2010's transfer request: "Sometimes as a player you make bad choices and bad decisions … sometimes you say things you shouldn't. I want to be here for the next 10 years. Just look at Giggs and Scholes … they're an example to us all. And let's be honest, where else can you go from here?"
Common touch
Leading last week's online tributes: @David_Cameron: "Sir Alex Ferguson's achievement at #MUFC has been exceptional. Hopefully his retirement will make life a little easier for my team #AVFC." (2001: "Many of those who have spoken in the Football Disorder Bill debate are either lawyers or football fans. I have to confess, I am neither.")
Also moving on
João Havelange: stepping aside as Fifa's honorary president after a report found he took "at least" £1m in bribes – a year after he was nominated for the Noble peace prize for services to "social justice". The Brazilian nominating group said Havelange was "very pleased" to be put forward, "deserves it more than most" and "told us he never took money from anyone. He only ever did good for mankind."
Also from the football family:
1) Bahrain's Sheikh Salman Bin Ebrahim al-Khalifa – whose country arrested and tortured footballers in 2011 – marking his Asian Confederation presidential election victory with a vision: "We will have an ethics committee. I think Fifa will support it."
2) Plus more from Jack Warner's plan to end years of "unholy", "dirty" press smears against him by launching his own newspaper: Jack says Sunshine Newspaper, out in Trinidad on 24 May, will be "a different kind of weekly with credible stories, not bent on attacking people's characters. It's to bring Sunshine into people's lives." Jack's wider plan: "I will change this media landscape. Whatever it's costing, I can afford it."
Elsewhere: charity news
Arsenalfc.com on last week's first-team charity gala: "To wrap up the evening, the club launched an emergency appeal for Save the Children [in Syria]. The entire first-team squad showed incredible generosity to donate £75,000." (4: Hours it will take them to earn it back.)
Respect campaign
Germany: Kaiserslautern's Mohamadou Idrissou, fined €3,000 for refusing to tone down his aggressive body language because "I'm not gay, my body language is a real man's body language. I'm not gay and I won't act gay." Idrissou: "It was not my intention to offend."
Apology of the week
Paraguay: Ex-Olimpia president Marcelo Recanate, taking out a newspaper advert to apologise after rival Eduardo Delmás sued him for libel. "I used all kinds of insults and insinuations. I categorically despise what I said." Delmás says Recanate "lacks emotional stability".
Recanate's previous: calling FA head Juan Angel Napout a "filthy rat bastard"; calling one of his players "a stupid disrespectful black Argentinian midget", his agent a "big Brazilian shit, a tart, a garbage man", and offering to behead journalists – then "go around Asunción showing off their heads".
Case of the week
Brazil's superior court: dismissing a law suit brought by an Atlético Mineiro fan against a referee over a 2007 penalty decision. The court ruled the claim for £7,000 compensation for "shock", "grievance" and "a failure of service delivery" was inadmissible. "Causing annoyance is not unlawful."
Staff appraisal news
Romania: Astra owner Ioan Niculae, rethinking last month's attack on his players ("They are shaking in their panties, and that's the truth"). His new verdict: Astra's players are "incapable, impotent morons". Niculae says he'll make changes. "No-one shall be spared."
Most misguided
Germany: Viktoria Köln say ex-West Ham player Savio "needs guidance" after he stole a team-mate's watch, six months after he faked his own kidnapping in a bid to recoup €25k he had spent on holiday in Thailand. Viktoria: "We sent him home to be with his mother."
Most grateful
Romania: Steaua owner Gigi Becali, receiving a marble bust of himself, sculpted by a fan who travelled eight hours to present it, engraved: "George Becali, the greatest Romanian." Gigi: "I do not like it. It does not look like me. You need to work on it more."
Calling time
Romania: Fifth-tier Colibasi's striker Pompiliu Barbu, 65 – ready to give up trying to make it big. "I've tried and I can't get anywhere in this game. It's time to get a proper job. I can't get any money out of football. Not one leu."
Plus: legal news
Spain: Model Andressa Urach, a runner-up in Brazil's Miss Bumbum contest, says she'll fight legal action brought against her by Cristiano Ronaldo after she alleged he dubbed her "little horse" during a "hotel love romp". Urach: "I'm relaxed about this. I only ever speak the truth."