Before Penelope and Colin said their “I do”s, when Colin couldn’t even look at his fiancée, a frightened, brokenhearted Pen asked him, “What will our marriage be?” Well, the sun’s up on day one of married life, and the answer to that question for the time being is, uh, frigid? Colin spends his wedding night on the couch and waits for Penelope to come out of their room the next morning just to inform her he’s headed to Bridgerton House for the day. This is not fun! This is not the Polin goodness we signed up for! Yeah, yeah, Bridgerton is a romance and romance always gives us our Happily Ever After in the end, but goddamn, are they making us work for it!
And here’s the bad news: Things are going to get worse before they get better.
Penelope is expecting her mother to pop over for breakfast the morning after her wedding, so you can understand her shock at walking into the drawing room to find Cressida Cowper standing there. She knows Penelope is Lady Whistledown and demands 10,000 pounds to keep quiet about it, and she even gets in some digs about how it makes sense that no one would suspect her since she is so completely forgettable. Classic Cressida: once a menace to society, always a menace to society. I know we all now understand a little more why she is the way she is, and here she is at her most desperate, but after all of that Cowper development, is she just not going to learn one single thing? Can she not be just a tiny bit better of a human for once?
Apparently not. When Portia Featherington does show up, Cressida proves to Penelope that people will believe her when she spreads the Whistledown news by laying out all of the evidence for Penelope’s own mother and then peacing out. It’s a real “blaze of glory” moment, and you have to give credit where it is due, you know? We get to see Portia process this life-changing information in real time, and it is perfection. Polly Walker remains such an MVP this season! She’s clearly feeling foolish for not seeing what was going on under her nose, and she’s pissed off as she realizes that while she was killing herself to keep her family from ruin, her own daughter was doing very much the opposite. Then, she quickly returns to protecting reputations at all costs by demanding her daughter keep this newest scandal of blackmail from her husband, lest he gets their marriage annulled, which is definitely a thing he can do, she informs Pen.
But Penelope is done with the lies. She and Portia head over to Bridgerton House and tell Colin (and Eloise) exactly what Cressida is up to. Hey, you know how Pen has been trying to explain that she started Whistledown because she felt like she had no voice? Well, as soon as Pen breaks the news, literally everyone in the room ignores her pleas to let her handle this on her own — she can afford the asking price because our girl is loaded with gossip money — and literally push her out of their brainstorming circle to come up with a plan to fix this the right way. Colin declaring that NO ONE BLACKMAILS MY WIFE and insisting he is going to handle all of this makes me equally want to roll my eyeballs out of their sockets and also a little bit horny. Admittedly, that is my type, so this tracks.
Despite the disrespect being paid to Penelope, who is being treated like an annoyingly naughty child rather than the power player she is, this setup does lead us to a really interesting scene between Colin and Cressida. It’s ostensibly about Colin coming to appeal to Cressida for mercy — to explain Penelope’s actions and get her to give up the whole blackmail scheme. But really, it becomes obvious the more he talks that this is Colin working out his Penelope problem aloud; these are all of the things that have been running through his mind while he’s been trying to parse through his own feelings. He keeps bringing up reasons for why she would adopt this persona — how lonely and ignored she must have felt, that she is only returning the same cruelty she’s felt as part of the ’ton. She isn’t a villain. Even as he defends her, he comes back to the idea that none of these reasons are an excuse but instead a way to sympathize with her. It’s the exact push and pull he’s having in his head. He even tosses in a few lines about how he knows a bit of how it feels to be lonely, how he felt so alone and useless when people got on just fine without him while he was traveling.
Cressida is not into a single word he’s saying: She calls him out for trying to seem sympathetic when he is afforded so many more freedoms than any woman (The second woman to point this out, my guy! Rethink your strategies!) She calls him out for seeming less angry and more jealous of Penelope’s success, and she calls him out for thinking every family is as supportive as his. She’s right on all accounts. Hey, maybe she is hiding some cleverness in those giant sleeves after all! Then she doubles her asking price. Colin Bridgerton has completely fucked everything up. He tells the ladies while kind of crying about it — he cries a lot (a compliment) — and decides he’ll come up with some story to secure the funds from Benedict and the Bridgerton fortune.
At least in the meantime we get to witness the reconciliation between Pen and Eloise — that’s something, right? When Eloise takes her hand and asks her what she is reading, I mean, has there ever been a greater profession of platonic love than that? Our girls are back on!
Okay, it is nice, but I am grasping for something good here because everything is bad. I’m sorry, but we are at our lowest point when Pen heads out to her mother’s the next day and tells Colin she’ll meet him at Francesca’s wedding ceremony because she thought she would “spare [him] the confines of a shared carriage.” Now we are bringing the carriage into this mess?! The carriage is sacred! I will! Not! Stand for this!!
At least, finally, Penelope is taking the situation into her own hands. This change is thanks to a little one-two punch of perspective. First, she learns that Aunt Petunia’s fortune was a lie to cover up Portia’s taking the money Jack Featherington stole from the ’ton. (The lawyer looking into the situation has found proof of Portia’s lies and is reporting her to the royal authorities, threatening to give their title to a different family.) The mother-daughter pair get into it until they come to realize they have more in common than they ever thought. Let’s be clear: What Portia has done is definitely a crime, but she did it because she saw no other way out, no other opportunity to keep her family safe. She was brought up believing that women have no power. She is in awe of what Penelope has built, in awe of the power she has taken for herself. Penelope suddenly finds some real empathy for her mother. Portia softens, too. She knows that if they get out of this latest bout of scandal, they need to make real changes: “We must do better,” she tells her daughter.
Then, Penelope attends Francesca and John’s sweet little wedding ceremony in the Bridgerton drawing room. This means that not only is she privy to the toast of the century — seriously, where does John Stirling, president of the Wainscoting Fan Club, get off making us all weep with his lovely words about Violet Bridgerton? How dare you, sir — but she is once again reminded of how lovely the Bridgerton family is. They have been so warm and welcoming to her for so many years, and she is about to fuck their shit up big time. She just can’t do it.
Pen pulls her husband aside for a frank discussion. She is taking matters into her own hands from now on. This is her mess; she is cleaning it up. Colin’s response yet again reveals his biggest insecurity: “How am I meant to help you?” Pen has to beat it into him — she doesn’t love him because he helps her or protects her or saves her, she loves him because of his kindness and his empathy. “Just being you is enough,” she tells him, reminding him of all that his support and love has given her just this year — confidence, orgasms, etc. He helps her by loving her. That is what she needs. And he wants to do that for her, but this Whistledown secret will always stand between them.
She plans on fixing that. She plans on fixing everything.
Listen, I am always down for a complicated, dark series with no easy answers, but isn’t it sometimes nice to have a bright, froth-fest of a show where everything comes together and works out in the end? It is so nice and sometimes we need nice things! Bridgerton is giving us the nice things.
Speaking of, let’s quickly chat about some of the other nice things other Bridgerton characters are giving us. There’s Benedict, who has really taken to this throuple life. We get a lot of spicy scenes with him, Tilley, and Paul in bed together, hooking up, and Benedict waxing on about how he simply has an abundance of love to give. See? All the Bridgerton boys are givers! Violet should be proud. We also get a surprisingly tender scene between Ben and Tilley, where she admits that she has started to actually fall for him. She wasn’t sure she’d ever feel like she wanted to commit to a person again, but she feels that with Benedict — and she likes it. Unfortunately, Benedict is not in the same headspace. He thanks Tilley for opening up his world. He feels free and he doesn’t want to lose that feeling just yet. She respects his feelings but does issue a quick little warning that “even merriment can grow tiring.”
Benedict seems more confused than ever but very much at peace with that confusion when he finds Eloise hanging out on their swings later. She’s feeling restless and frustrated with forever standing still in this little bubble and is looking for guidance, but Benedict can only offer support. He knows only a few things for sure: He knows he misses these swing chats with his sister and vows to continue them. He knows that the more he learns, the more he realizes how little he knows. He knows that right now, it feels like “the next thing [he] might learn may change [him] entirely.” Are everyone’s eyes popping out of their skulls or what? And that’s not even the last of it with ol’ Ben.
What of Violet? Well, Violet makes good with Francesca the morning of her wedding. She tells her the story of how when she first met Edmund, she couldn’t even get her name out, she was so taken by him. She has always thought that was the way for everyone. But Francesca has taught her that a slow, quiet love is just as special. She knows her daughter will do well finding herself in the peace and quiet of their marriage and their life in Scotland.
Violet also has a moving conversation with Agatha in which they finally broach the subject of Lady D shtupping Violet’s dad. It’s actually a gorgeous scene about how Lady Danbury will always be there for Violet, no matter what, and so will her brother, if Violet is into that. Not that Violet needs her permission — she certainly never asked permission. The two women say all they need to without getting into the details of it — simply stating that Violet’s father and Agatha’s brother were/are both good men and that they have each been good friends to the other, and what more do they need to know than that? No one wants to talk about their family members having sex, no matter how close of friends they are. Well, unless you’re a Bridgerton brother, I guess. Anyway, Agatha closes out the conversation by informing Violet that whatever happens between her and Marcus, Agatha will always choose Violet over her brother, and that’s a real female friendship.
Okay, enough stalling — back to Pen’s plan! Penelope writes one letter to Queen Charlotte and one to Violet, outing herself as Lady Whistledown. She also gives Varley the bulk of her Whistledown money to use on the end-of-the-season ball her two sisters are throwing (they’re trying to stay relevant before their pregnancies show and also get their mother to pay attention to them again), so now, if everything goes according to plan, Portia can tell the lawyer guy that “Aunt Petunia’s fortune” was actually all the money Penelope made from Lady Whistledown and they’ll keep their title. And then they’re off to the ball.
It’s a gorgeous ball, by the way. Varley should be proud. When Portia realizes Pen paid for it all and is giving Portia credit to help ease tensions between her and her other daughters, she is moved. The Featherington ladies are going to be all right. But it’s not long before the queen arrives and stops everything. She informs the ’ton that Lady Whistledown wrote her asking if she can publicly plead her case for mercy. And then she points to Penelope to come to the dance floor and talk. This is it, folks. The secret is secret no more! People seem sufficiently shocked.
Pen takes to the floor to finally address her dearest gentle readers. And, yes, it is not lost on anyone that Penelope started this series as a wallflower, ignored, and here she is now, literally standing in the center of the room, all eyes on her. Her speech starts off awkwardly, but then she is sincere — then she is herself, and it is quite winning. She talks about never believing anyone would take her seriously, about realizing she is not the only lady “to whom no one listens,” and about becoming intoxicated with her power. “I was careless with it,” she tells everyone. Now she knows that it is much more courageous and powerful to “live a life out in the open,” regardless of mistakes or weaknesses. It is the bravest person who knows “regardless of the outcome, one always has worth.” But she won’t apologize for gossip — “gossip is information” and it bonds them together, especially the people who are told so little about the world. Still, she promises, with the queen’s blessing to continue, that she will “aim [her] quill more responsibly.”
The plan works. The queen, who, thanks to Lady D, has come to realize that it’s the game and not the winning that’s the fun part, shows Penelope mercy. She’ll be watching her, but when it comes down to it, “what is life without a little gossip?” she muses. And then she’s off. And thank goodness, too, because I think she would’ve tossed the whole of the ’ton in a dungeon or something upon realizing that they just got the answer to one of the greatest mysteries in their lives and seconds later get completely distracted by … a bunch of butterflies Philippa releases in the room? Guys! Focus!
They do not. Although Pen is well aware that just because they are all being cool about it now since the queen has approved, it doesn’t mean people won’t lash out or retaliate in the future. Time will tell!
She’ll be okay, though, because she’ll have her man by her side. And where has Colin been during all of this? Well, the ding-dong actually listened to her and gave her the space to handle this on her own. When he finds her afterward, dear lord, the look on his face: It’s like he is finally, FINALLY seeing her, all of her, for the first time, and he has never looked more in love with her. (And that’s a feat because Luke Newton really gives good In Love Face.) Naturally, my man is crying again. He tells Pen that he finally sees that she and Lady Whistledown are one in the same and he wouldn’t want it any other way because what she just did “was bloody brilliant.” He admits to being jealous of her, not just for her success but also for her bravery. And he cannot believe that someone like her loves him. “If my only purpose in life,” he tells her, “is to love a woman as great as you, then I will be a very fulfilled man indeed.” Guys, GUYS, I had to take a walk after this speech. It is so heartfelt and lovely and moving and exactly what we’ve wanted to hear Colin say to Penelope for so long. The Polin speech Pen, Colin, and we deserved!
But these two aren’t the only ones moving forward in happiness. Violet and Marcus finally take to the dance floor together, which is a huge step forward for the Dowager Viscountess. At the end of the ball, Eloise makes a brave choice, too: She asks Francesca if she can join her in Scotland. She wants to see the world, she wants life experience. She wants adventure.
Both Francesca and John are more than happy to have her join them. Plus, John’s cousin has finally arrived, which means they can leave anytime now. Book readers, are you with me? Because then John introduces Francesca to his cousin Michaela Stirling, who is this bright ball of energy that immediately knocks Francesca off her feet. She can’t even get her name right, she is so taken with her. Sound familiar? (cough Violet is always right cough.) Book readers, did you squeal? If you don’t know, without giving too much away, in Francesca’s book, she is also quite taken with John’s cousin, although in When He Was Wicked, he’s Michael Stirling. That’s right — we’re getting a gender-flipped, full-on queer love story on Bridgerton. It is going to be so much fun.
And how do we leave Benedict? Well, he’s bummed that he’s losing his buddy Eloise for a while, but she tells him to cheer up, she’ll be back next year. “Do you think Mama would ever let me miss her masquerade ball?” she asks. Benedict assures her he’ll be there, too, hiding out behind a mask. And again, I ask, book readers, did you squeal? The masquerade ball is where Ben finally has his meet-cute with the love of his life. Is season four Benedict’s time? Could it be?
Oh, and Cressida gets shipped off to Wales. See you later, sucker!
But let us return to the couple of the hour, one last time. In a jump forward, we learn that all three of the Featherington sisters are now mothers, but only Penelope and Colin have had a boy — the heir to the Featherington title. Colin is a successful writer, thanks to some help from his wife, and has published his travel diaries. Penelope says good-bye to Lady Whistledown, but hello to writing her Society Pages under her own name — Penelope Bridgerton. It seems complicated, but sure! And the two of them are more in love than ever. They share one last kiss. Don’t they look so good kissing? Polin never disappoints.
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