vulture investigates

Who Are the Thirsty Celebrities on The Masked Singer?

Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos: Michael Becker/FOX

This post has been updated with new clues, theories, and eliminations.

When The Masked Singer’s latest season opens, it’s with a reminder that the show has already hosted “186 celebrities over 11 seasons.” That statistic raises the very real question of what now qualifies as “celebrity” status in the world of The Masked Singer, considering the typically C-to-D-list “stars” the show tends to attract these days. If we’re to believe the judges — and, really, no one should — it’s entirely possible that Cardi B, Tom Brady, or Kerry Washington could jump out of an absurd costume onto the show’s glossy stage at any given time. And while, with very few exceptions, no one with that level of fame ever has been unmasked, viewers soldier on, determined to see which who?s are revealed each week.

Since the season is broken into four groups of five celebs this time around, we’re getting a slower than usual rollout of characters and celebrity reveals. After several weeks of whittling down Group A to semifinalist Buffalo, we’re now moving on to Group B and a whole new set of costumes and clues to pore over week to week. Based on what we’ve seen so far, here’s our very scientific, constantly evolving, and mostly confident stab at who we think the sort of famous contestants are this season on The Masked Singer.

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Group B

Who is Wasp?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Wasp: A confident individual who definitely knows his way around some choreo, Wasp is introduced to the world by Ne-Yo, who says he’s known him for years. Wasp says he “grew up in a tough neighborhood,” and there’s “no reason” he should have made it out, a fact that’s then highlighted with a glimpse of a boxing glove. His career has been a “hive of activity,” and he’s graced “the biggest screens and stages in the world.” He also apparently loves a good honey-themed pair of basketball shoes.

Why it’s definitely Mario: Wasp’s clues are still too vague to really get a firm handle on who he is, so we’re taking a sting in the dark, if you will, and going with R&B singer Mario. Raised on the mean streets of Baltimore in a family environment that seems less than ideal, Mario found music as a kid but only really popped off commercially with “Let Me Love You,” a single that was actually written by Ne-Yo.

Why it might not be Mario: Does Mario have something to do with boxing? Questionable. Is he a basketball guy? Also unclear. The judges seem to think it could be Taye Diggs, Jason Derulo, or Bruno Mars. (Which, no. The Masked Singer wishes it was Bruno Mars.) We’re just going to have to wait for some more clues on this one.

Who is Chess Piece?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Chess Piece: Introduced by Nikki Glaser, who calls the mystery singer her “most fashion-forward friend,” Chess Piece says they landed a “leading role that changed my game,” but also says they’ve “felt like a pawn” at times and has been doubted their whole life, including when it comes to singing, something they absolutely love doing.

Why it’s definitely Laverne Cox: As a red-carpet fixture and avowed Mugler stan, Cox certainly earns the “fashion forward” label, and it’s fair to say her role as Orange Is the New Black’s Sophia changed the game, leading to Cox becoming the first transgender person nominated for an acting Emmy. She’s also posted about how she loves singing, even if it’s not her final calling.

Why it might not be Laverne Cox: While the Chess Piece costume definitely presents as feminine, with a big skirt and draped sleeves, we can’t assume the person inside identifies that way; that could open the door to other fashion-world figures like Law Roach or Brad Goreski. Some Redditors have also suggested that the black-and-white costume could contain Drag Race alum Gottmik, who favors that color scheme and famously aped some of Glaser’s jokes for an All-Stars roast. But Chess Piece seems fairly tall, and even in the highest heels, Gottmik really isn’t.

Who is Bluebell?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Bluebell: Introduced by longtime friend and fellow tabloid darling Kelly Osbourne, Bluebell has long been in the public eye. She found “worldwide overnight success,” which led to her becoming fodder for the rumor mill, who linked her romantically with “rock stars, billionaires, and royals.” She says she only found true love recently, though, with the intro video showing glimpses of some torn blue jeans and a phoenix sticker on a guitar. Her shoes are also a pair of Rollerblades meant to look like rocks, which she says mean that she “tries to roll with the situation, but [she] always rocks it out.”

Why it’s definitely Natalie Imbruglia: Natalie Imbruglia’s no stranger to the Masked Singer family — she actually won the third season of Masked Singer UK inside a panda costume. While we wouldn’t call her “rock and roll,” she’s certainly made a few headlines, including a fairly raucous one with Osbourne back in the early ’00s. The torn, not ripped, jeans in the clip package seem to hint at her hit song, as well, and the phoenix on the guitar could suggest Firebird, her most recent LP.

Why it might not be Natalie Imbruglia: The judges seem to think it could be someone like Ellie Goulding, Taylor Momsen, or Leighton Meester under the mask, and there is a world where it’s Paris Hilton, who’s not only made headlines and been linked to billionaires, but who also has a son named Phoenix whose birthday Osbourne attended earlier this year.

Who is Goo?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Goo: It might be his size or it might be his introduction from ambassador Keenan Allen, but Goo just seems to have big athlete energy. (The gooey football cleats don’t hurt, either.) There are references to tackling/tackle/tackle boxes in his intro video, as well as a train with disco-ball cargo. He says he was always musical as a kid, too, joining a cappella groups and winning awards for his skill.

Why it’s definitely Kobie Turner: If you’re talking about cool football players who love to sing, then you’ve got to think about “The Conductor,” Kobie Turner. A tackle for the L.A. Rams, Turner has made headlines for his performance both on and off the field. He’s the natural choice and a perfect fit.

Why it might not be Kobie Turner: It could be another musically talented NFL player, like perhaps a member of the NFL Players Choir.

Who is Dust Bunny?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Dust Bunny: It’s pretty clear from the get-go that Dust Bunny has lived a life. They’ve worked with Anne Hathaway, David Bowie, Marlon Brando, and ambassador Dick Van Dyke, and at some point they went from being a coffee boy to a stand-in to having a “face for TV.” They also have some connection to both earthquakes and ice skates.

Why it’s definitely Andy Richter: Admittedly, the three celebrities mentioned in the clue clip threw us for a loop, but once we figured out that the earthquake clip pointed to the Richter scale, everything fell into place. Richter was in both Blades Of Glory and Talladega Nights, which would explain the ice skate and checkered flag, and his sidekick work on the various Conan shows has placed him firmly in the path of all manner of celebrities. He was also briefly in Scary Movie 2 with Marlon Brando, though the Godfather actor dropped out because of health reasons and his scenes were reshot with James Woods.

Why is might not be Andy Richter: It is. He was unmasked at the end of “Sports Night.”

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Group A

Who is Buffalo?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Buffalo: While the show initially teases Buffalo as just one person, it’s quickly revealed that the “buffalo” is actually plural, indicating three members of a herd. When they’re introduced by “ambassador” and friend Nick Lachey, there’s talk of “roach-filled beds at night and practicing at bus stops,” pictures of both Betty and Vanna White, and a suggestion that they’ve been on “two of the biggest sitcoms of all time.” There are also nods to some sort of Walk of Fame, a slot-machine jackpot, and a crown. And, though this is no help at all, Lachey says that the Buffalo are “always the center of attention at my epic Super Bowl parties.” In the second episode, we learn that they “found each other along the way” and that some people think they’re corny, but also that they’re both rich and associated with the word “Motown.”

Why it’s definitely Boyz II Men: A sort of corny vocal group that’s rich and associated with Motown? That could only be Boyz II Men. They have a star on the Walk of Fame, they just wrapped a brief Vegas run (featuring Masked Singer judge Robin Thicke, who’s absolutely convinced it’s not them), they performed during the Super Bowl halftime show way back when, and member Wanya Morris was in a weird insurance-sponsored “supergroup” with Lachey last year. They’ve also appeared on a number of sitcoms, including The Fresh Prince, Moesha, and How I Met Your Mother.

Why it might not be Boyz II Men: Both Jenny McCarthy and Rita Ora seem to think it could be B2K, citing the possible presence of Omarion, a singer who’s already been on The Masked Singer and who absolutely hasn’t starred in any incredibly popular sitcoms, save a couple guest appearances on The Bernie Mac Show and Grown-ish. Rita Ora also suggests that it could be Earth, Wind & Fire, a notion so absurd we’re just going to reject it outright. Other guesses bandied around include 112 and Big Time Rush, both of which seem possible but also just don’t really fit the clues quite as well as Boyz II Men.

Who is Woodpecker?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Woodpecker: Introduced by ambassador Jenifer Lewis, who’s known Woodpecker “since her start,” this masked contestant is small and seemingly female and says she’s both a mogul and a “chic CEO” before dropping that she’s also friends with Beyoncé. She was a child actor and she’s on the show, she says, because she is “striving to be the youngest billionaire.”

Why it’s definitely Marsai Martin: At just 20 years old, Marsai Martin has already lived a very long and productive Hollywood life. She starred alongside Lewis on Black-ish, has received six NAACP Image and two SAG Award nominations, and has produced or executive-produced multiple projects. She has a first-look production deal with Universal, appeared in Good Burger 2, and once told BET that she’d “like to be the youngest billionaire or trillionaire.”

Why it might not be Marsai Martin: It is. She was unmasked midway through the “Soundtrack Of Our Lives” episode.

Who is Leaf Sheep?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Leaf Sheep: Introduced by former Denver Bronco Demarcus Ware (last season’s the Koala), Leaf Sheep is referred to as “the GOAT,” though he says “these days, I’m a little sluggish, but you should have seen me in my prime.” He’s “topped the charts” and “revived a franchise,” and he is somehow linked to both a cowboy-hat-wearing seahorse and a quarter. He’s also a pretty bad singer.

Why it’s definitely John Elway: Given that we’re looking for someone who’s older, played quarterback in an NFL team associated with either a cowboy or a horse, and who probably can’t sing a lick, our minds go right to former Denver Broncos QB John Elway. While you could argue that the 10-6 Broncos were doing okay before Elway’s arrival in 1983, they were sort of in the tank in the mid-to-late ’00s before Elway signed on as GM and brought Peyton Manning in as QB, a move that led to the team ultimately going to the Super Bowl.

Why it might not be John Elway: It is. His lackluster vocal performance landed him in the bottom in the season premiere, leading to his unmasking.

Who is Showbird?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about Showbird: Introduced by good friend Joel McHale, who’s never actually been a Masked Singer contestant but who likes to give judge Ken Jeong a fair amount of shit, Showbird was a “tomboy growing up” and admits to being into nerdy stuff, like LEGO and Comic-Con. She says she’s been in some of the biggest blockbuster movies ever, and there’s a golden gavel in her intro video, suggesting she’s some sort of judge. In the second episode, she says she met the love of her life only recently, saying he encouraged her to follow her long-dormant passion for singing.

Why it’s definitely Yvette Nicole Brown: First of all: Just listen to her. That’s 100 percent Yvette Nicole Brown’s distinctive voice. Second, there’s the link to both McHale and Jeong, whom she starred alongside in Community. And third and fourthly, there are the Hollywood clues, since she notably played Judge Anita Harper on A Black Lady Sketch Show and had roles in Tropic Thunder, Avengers: Endgame, and (500) Days of Summer, among other projects. The recently engaged Lego superfan is also a Comic-Con regular who’s moderated more than one big Hall H panel.

Why it might not be Yvette Nicole Brown: It is. She was unmasked at the end of episode two.

Who is the Ship?

Photo: Michael Becker/FOX

Here’s what we know about the Ship: Clad in a sort of steampunk schooner look, the Ship gets her props from Jewel, who has apparently been friends with her for years and years. (She’s connected to Melissa Etheridge somehow as well.) The Ship says she found singing after an injury forced her to the sidelines during high school, but that once she did, her “career set sail at a rapid clip.” Somewhere in the middle, though, she “lost control, became lost at sea, and felt forgotten.” She’s turned it around since and now has “the career [she’s] always wanted.” The Ship also seems to be a professional singer, given how well she tackles “Pompeii,” by Bastille, with an impressive bit of alto vibrato.

Why it’s definitely Paula Cole: The cowboy hat in the first episode got us thinking about the “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” singer, and a quick Google proves that Cole was, like the Ship says, president of her high-school class, a cheerleader, and even prom queen. Cole is also a classically trained jazz singer, which could account for why the Ship delivers such a stellar vocal performance each and every week. Add to that the fact that Cole won the Best New Artist Grammy in 1998, as referenced in her time capsule, and we’re almost positive this guess is a winner.

Why it might not be Paula Cole: It is. She was unmasked at the end of episode three, after a battle royale with the Buffalo.

Who Are the Thirsty Celebrities on The Masked Singer?