User:DiZ

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THIS USER HAS


FUCKED OFF.


GO AWAY.


|o|u|r|o|b|o|r|o|s
my anti-drug
CUN.svg
Commander of the Order
Hanshaketiny.jpg This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them.

ThinkerToilet.jpg This user is a member of the Reviewing Committee, because they are self opinionated knowitalls.

Sugar Glider Attack.jpg This User is a zookeeper at the Un-Bestiary. Don't mind the smell.

Cuba flag large.png This user is Cuban,
¡all your base are belong to Fidel Raúl!
(List of Cuban Uncyclopedians)
es-NThis user is a native speaker of Español.
en-0This user does not understand English and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
sv-1This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Swedish.
us-3This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of American English.
typo-N Tihs suser is s anative spealer fo Typo.
sp-4This user speaks Spanglish at a near-native level.
elv-XThis user only speaks Elvish enough to seduce native Elvish speakers.
sa-3This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Sarcasm.
do-4This user speaks Dolphin at a near-native level.
la-0This user does not understand Latin and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
pika-PThis f****r speaks Pikachu heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
orb-4This user speaks Ouroboros at a near-native level.
al-EThis user only speaks the Ancient Language because it was a required course in school.
du-GThis user does not speak Dumbass and furthermore believes Dumbass to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of Dumbass.
ah-4This user speaks Asshat at a near-native level.
bs-PThis f****r speaks Bullsh!t heavily laced with profanity that would make a f*****g a*****e sailor blush from all the g*******d blasphemy.
17-GThis user does not speak 1337 and furthermore believes 1337 to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of 1337.
(_(_)This user can say "cunt" in 30 different languages.
British Royal Family.jpg This user is a monarch, or a megalomaniac.

$$$ This user is a libertarian, so he or she loves the system. Specially when the system is a 5-way surround with a powerful subwoofer.
Boredkid.jpg This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
46 This user has written 46 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

Dialing...
Verifying username and password...
Shit! This user contributes using dial-up!
Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg
This user has been blocked
5 times.
This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.
Paladin.gif This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.
Happysatan.jpg This user is a sinner, and bows before Satan.

Numbersix.gifThis user is not a number, s/he is a free wo/man!
Hummingruby.jpg This User knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled.

250px-Eragon.jpg Yes, this user is a fan of Eragon. No, they are not retarded.
Anteater2.jpg

This User is a Taahgaarxian . Run, atheists, run!

Msyclopaintia.jpg This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
\m/ This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.
Gefahrensymbol F.png This user is a pyromaniac.
Myfisto.gif This user has attained a plane of asshattery previously thought unreachable and needs to be cockpunched immediately.


Nuvola apps important.svg This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Flying Spaghetti Monster This user believes in the Noodly Appendage of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
Nuvola apps important orange.svg This user should not be trusted.
Dueldragons.jpg This user chose Ice because they're a pussy.
Pegasus small.png This user is convinced that any Pegasus is far superior to a Unicorn. No unicorn small.png


Earth Western Hemisphere.jpgThis person helps reduce overpopulation by killing people, helping the environment.
Ouroboros.gif This user worships Ouroboros and joyously celebrates His return.
Chickenbox2.0.pngThis user raises their own chickenbox.
Paladin.jpg This user is a member of DiZ's inner circle, and the Omnipotent King. Fear them.
Domokunyellownbackground.jpg This User has been officially punished on Un-Bestiary. Learn from their mistakes and don't get flogged.

Goldensilkorb-weaver.jpg This user lives in Florida. By the time you read this, they've probably been mauled by some ferocious beast.
Darwin-ape.jpg This user is an evolutionist and is not afraid to say he came from a monkey's cunt.
Microsoft Windows logoThis user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

Grue Jammy.gif This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!
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For those obsessed with the so-called experts, DiZ also has a userpage on the English Wikipedia.

“Thou art an example of pure perfection.”

~ User:Uncyclopedian on DiZ

“/me headbutts DiZtheGreat

~ User:Ununbilium on DiZ

“He had sex with my sister. I am honored to be that close to him.”

~ User:Electrified mocha chinchilla on DiZ

Peanut-Butter-Jelly-Time! IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!

Jeffrey the Dancing Banana has blessed this article,
talk page, or template with his bodacious moves.
Jeffrey lives only to dance!

Exploding-head.gif This article contains way too much information.
Absorbing all of it may cause one's head to asplode.
You can help Uncyclopedia by adding stuff
.

The Paean of DiZ

BEHOLD YOUR NEW KING, DiZ THE GREAT.

Hail our King! Of all the creations
That the gods did make, of all the
Beasts and flying creatures and the
Sunlight on bounding waters;

Of the mountains whose tops pierce
The clouds like the pikes of war-thirsty
Warriors, craving the throne of the
Beckoning skies;

Of the spirits who lull in the woods
And the dragons that crawl in the mines;
The beasts that fill the skies with
Their shrieking calls;

Of all these things the gods did create,
Dwarfed in stature, dwarfed in grandeur,
Was there one creation whose making
Undid their glory;

Oh! great mountain of power,
Pillar of strenght, stream of grace!
Yours is of the gods in heaven,

Make your voice known!


My arms are trunks of oak
My legs are buckling stone
My shoulders are shear cliffs
My nails are elephant bone.

They carved him from a granite quarry
Torn from the sinews of the earth by a
Thousand heaving beasts of every size.
They chiseled his features with hammers
And daggers whose steel so fine, it cut
The very stars from the veil of the skies.

My sinews are warped copper
My bones are tempered steel
My knuckles are mountain peaks
My belly hard as a ship's keel.

His sinews twist with the sound of thunder
And crackle like lightning on the waters;
His footfalls echo across the lands.
His voice sounds across the churning seas
As the sky trembles before his call
And his very breath shifts the sands.

My eyes are flaring suns
My broad back is a battle-field
My teeth are white war-horses
My skin is an iron shield.


Woe is he who should face your wrath;
Woe is he who should cross your path;

Woe is he who should enter your sight;
Woe is he who should challenge your might;


For thou art DiZ, king of all
Who sits on your golden throne;
And by the gods that shift the very heavens
Your voice
will be known.


Awards

Awards I've Stolen Earned

Author of the Month UnBooks Author of the Month August 2006



Awards that I gave myself


Awards that other people have given to me

See User:DiZ/Praise

Prime Choice Cutlets (PCCs)

DiZ the Great, as an emissary on one of his many voyages to the kingdom of South Park.

These are what I consider to be my best works, but that's not really saying much:

These are my favorites from other people:

Members of my Inner Circle

Official Members

These are the people who have joined me and my evil death cult, either by force or out of choice (not necesaarily their choice). I currently have 23 members in my inner circle. Odin approves.

He Who Guideth Mine Hand, the Inexorable One, Lord Ouroboros

Primary Order

Secondary Order

Honorary

These people haven't signed up for my 18-week CorePacket(tm), and are honorary members of my Inner Circle(tm), mostly because I like em (and I think they may like me...maybe...):

My Pledge to You

DiZ.gif

Here at DiZ Inustries ®, we strive to bring you top-quality, reliable products. Doesn't work out most of the time, but at least we try, we try...And in the end, isn't that what consumers really want? A company that gives their all into ensuring their client's satisfaction, even at the price of complete sub-par mediocracy.